Salutations
Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 2:05 pm
Hi everyone.
Ive been around the site before, and I cant remember if the last time I registered I actually introduced myself, but I figured Ive got questions and feeling I need help with and this is probably the best place to figure out exactly what, how, and why.
Im a Cis-Gender Bisexual Male, and something that deeply concerns me is the relationship I seem to have with my penis. Im on good terms with my testicles, they provide testosterone and I also get physically sick with the idea of losing them, or any other part of my body, except one.
Over the past few years Ive come to realize that Im ambivalent or apathetic about my penis, not to the point of actively being destructive, but to the point where I feel I could lose it and not mind. Though I do also feel that I could have it replaced with a vagina and clitoris and feel better, though Im not sure if I would feel the same with a penile inversion vaginoplasty. I do still use it for sexual stimulation, and actively Top during sex, which is why my feelings are ambivalent or apathetic, because Im not sure why Im fine doing those if Id prefer a vagina and clitoris.
Im afraid to bring this up with anyone, and Ive never actually said any of this to anyone. I havent even said it to the Psychologist that I actively see because Im afraid of them simply saying youre Transgender because if you want a vagina thats the only explanation, and missing the fact that Im perfectly fine with my Gender identity especially my testicles, which Im not sure exactly how all Transgender persons feel, but generally I would think that it would be a whole package. The other thing that worries me about telling my Psychologist is getting the, youre not being actively abusive or destructive toward it, just live with it.
Its actually really weird typing this out, and Im even more anxious about accidentally having said something wrong and offending the community here, its just that helping people with these sorts of feelings seems to be this communitys forte and Im hoping that by talking about it Ill understand myself better.
Ive been around the site before, and I cant remember if the last time I registered I actually introduced myself, but I figured Ive got questions and feeling I need help with and this is probably the best place to figure out exactly what, how, and why.
Im a Cis-Gender Bisexual Male, and something that deeply concerns me is the relationship I seem to have with my penis. Im on good terms with my testicles, they provide testosterone and I also get physically sick with the idea of losing them, or any other part of my body, except one.
Over the past few years Ive come to realize that Im ambivalent or apathetic about my penis, not to the point of actively being destructive, but to the point where I feel I could lose it and not mind. Though I do also feel that I could have it replaced with a vagina and clitoris and feel better, though Im not sure if I would feel the same with a penile inversion vaginoplasty. I do still use it for sexual stimulation, and actively Top during sex, which is why my feelings are ambivalent or apathetic, because Im not sure why Im fine doing those if Id prefer a vagina and clitoris.
Im afraid to bring this up with anyone, and Ive never actually said any of this to anyone. I havent even said it to the Psychologist that I actively see because Im afraid of them simply saying youre Transgender because if you want a vagina thats the only explanation, and missing the fact that Im perfectly fine with my Gender identity especially my testicles, which Im not sure exactly how all Transgender persons feel, but generally I would think that it would be a whole package. The other thing that worries me about telling my Psychologist is getting the, youre not being actively abusive or destructive toward it, just live with it.
Its actually really weird typing this out, and Im even more anxious about accidentally having said something wrong and offending the community here, its just that helping people with these sorts of feelings seems to be this communitys forte and Im hoping that by talking about it Ill understand myself better.
