A possible lie to tell the authorities, for anyone who castrates himself by elastrator.

From http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/P/ea_5328pervert_.htm :

In the morning I was released and went to the hospital to have my balls removed, which they did. They called the police who demanded to know who did this to me. I told them I did it to myself as part of a masturbating thing and fell asleep with it on. They left me alone after that.