My acupuncturist has a Taoist book full of pithy one page comments that I often read while waiting. One said that a major illness was an opportunity to have new experiences and to learn. The main thing I am now in there for is sciatica which causes pain that pretty much rules your life. I have learned things from it. Always do international customs as handicapped – you will go thru like shit thru a goose, as my Canadian friends would say. I have learned there are a tremendous number of people will to give you some slack and help if they can. Occasionally I am in a position where I can do a small thing like open a door for another person and I have learned that gives me pleasure.

I absolutely don’t mean that castration is an illness or handicap, but I would think it should be one of those things to open a person up to new experiences and new dynamics. Anybody care to share?

I am pathetically childish about doctors, talking to them, and everything about hospitals. I'm just an idiot. I just don't want to know if it's cancer, you know? As a single man, it was all I could do to walk myself in for hernia surgery day, and I was ready to chicken-out right up until they gave me the ass-shot that makes you not care any more.

But I really like that quote. I do NOT generally like motivational sayings; they are uniformly pathetic, and relying on quotes is a weakness, I think. But the next time I have to go to the doctor for something that might be serious, I'm going to try to really cling on to the idea that it's a chance to have an interesting new experience and to learn about how they deal with it.

I'll be fine right up until they have to put something in me. Then I'll get all faint-y and wimpy all over again, damn it.