If someone would be so kind as to review my story,Manic Pixie Nightmare,I'd be grateful.

Hi,

I actually read your story yesterday and enjoyed it, so much so that I actually sought out your other work and was disappointed to see that it was your only story. As a rule, I generally don’t write reviews as I often fail to articulate my thoughts onto the page and find it difficult to separate my own subjective preferences from the objective quality of the work, but as you asked I can attempt to make a few observations.

It’s often difficult to portray three-dimensional characters in short stories, especially when they are of a sexual nature. I think you did a good job with this, as I actually liked reading the discussion on the merits of ‘classic’ Batman movies. It was also nice to read a story where gender and sexuality are not binary and are treated much more abstractly.

If I’m honest, I think the seduction by the succubus could be fleshed out a little. It seemed to go from the protagonist arriving for a sexual encounter with a female class mate, to him pleasuring himself while watching gay porn, then eventual emasculation within a very short space of time. The transformation of his anatomy was a little left field for my taste, and sort of felt like it was dropped in at the end with no pay off. You also conclude the story with the protagonist transitioning into ‘Bottom Brad’, which is something that could also be expanded on, with the character’s further emasculation on his return to school, maybe in a sequel?

As I said, I enjoyed the story and liked your characterisation, the only small issue I had was that I would have liked to read more! Keep up the good work and I look forward to your next story.