Yeah, I’m talking about the controversial “top vs. bottom” discussion. While I’m normally masc. and fairly dominant if I’m comfortable around someone, this topic always seems to come up if in not so many words. When I was a new college student, I finally managed to have some legit sexual experience with another guy. He was kinda fem and assumed I was a top. He thought that because I was so firm and “on guard” about someone discovering that I have no penis. When I finally explained (some) of what happened to me, he was chill with it.

When we had sex for the first time, there was no question I couldn’t top without a strap on or something. Since I didn’t have one handy lol, he topped me. Since that time, it’s always assumed that I’m a total bottom. Sure, I’ll don a strap on now and then, but it doesn’t “get me there,” so I get nowhere and he gets sore. There’s other ways for sure, but is it natural for others to expect me to be a total bottom?

My longtime bf is a total top, so things work out now. It wouldn’t be so easy if he didn’t know how to “get me there!” So...is top-bottom all that black-white regardless of whether you have a penis or not? Maybe some of you with more experience know.

I was castrated 19 years ago. I have used T supplements ever since. At first I was able to maintain an erection, but that diminished with time. For about the last 5-6 years the only thing my penis is good for is pissing, or holding onto in bed sometimes. If anyone climbs into my bed, there is an absolute understanding that I am a total bottom. Every once in a while, with a great deal of effort, I can attain an erection, and then it takes quite a bit of work to maintain it. I'm pretty much resolved to it - hell, I was a big old bottom before I was castrated anyway. I tend to be rather hesitant about getting involved with anyone sexually nowadays, anyway. At times, I regret having been castrated, but it was going to happen anyway.

I'm gay also and a bottom I use testosterone and Cialis to get hard but have not been able to top for a long time I was castrated this year. being very masculine it's expected that I could top and I find it hard to deal with this. mentally I can no longer top anymore when I try I can't keep erect even with meds

I am also looking for a long-term relationship but am finding it hard for myself to think anyone would be interested in me now. so I'm happy for you finding a way to make do with your body.

I appreciate those perspectives.

“Making do with my body” is exactly what I didn’t do for such a long time. My bf knows how to use his tongue on and around my sensitive, tingly spot. The first time I saw us in the mirror, it looked so much like a man going down on a woman. It really bothered me at first because I looked so submissive, but it’s really an example of making do and then some since I respond so well when he does that to me. Even though I still have my balls, I’m losing interest in what topping might be like with a penis. Maybe my brain’s wiring wasn’t fully connected to a penis—real or imagined. Perhaps at this point it has been rewired to make do with what’s there?

Zach,

Tops don't always have to be the dominate one. Maybe your a power bottom? i'm guessing that lack of a penis makes you a bottom by default and is probably more pleasurable for you since there would really be little pleasure topping with a strap on. Since you have not had a penis since you were a baby, your body has most likely rewired itself to make up for the loss. Are you able to cum from the pleasure of bottoming?

I have spoken to other guys who lost their penis before entering puberty and they told me that other parts of their body became more sensitive to make up for the loss. One guy was able to cum by just rubbing his balls and said they were very sensitive. Another guy told me the only way he was able to cum was by anal stimulation or sex. I guess it depends how the body rewires itself so you are able to still find pleasure.

Thanks for posting your experiences!

Zach,

ampnullolvr (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:33 am Since you have not had a penis since you were a baby, your body has most likely rewired itself to make up for the loss. Are you able to cum from the pleasure of bottoming?

That’s exactly what I think happened. I spent a long time being angry about not having a penis so I could penetrate someone or just jerk off. Porn tells me it feels incredible. However, the longer I’ve bottomed, the less I think about topping. In college, I became much more adventurous and bottoming has become “sex” for me. Acknowledging what happened to me and really learning enjoy being a total bottom changed everything.

When I’m horny (which is all the time lol), I get a little tingling sensation in the spot above my balls where my penis would be. I can rub that and use a vibrator to cum, but it takes a little bit. My nipples are also a way to cum. As far as anal goes, if everything hits just right, I can have an orgasm and cum just from that alone. It doesn’t always happen tho. If I don’t cum from anal, oral attention on that sensitive spot will usually make it happen—-and that method feels incredible.

Glad to see you’re into nullo guys!

I'm not actually sure what gay or straight means or has to do with anything at all. I consider myself a normal human being. As such, to me it was normal to have penetrative sex with a female prior to my nullification. Of course It's no longer possible (in my case) to have penetrative sex with a female using a penis. I had never personally considered penetrative sex with a male nor had been penetrated by a male prior to nullification with the exception of a childhood rape. Since that was not my choice I hardly count it for this topic. Although I had been anally stimulated by a female prior to becoming nullo. This also seemed normal as I reciprocated at the time. Since becoming nullo I consider it normal to be anally stimulated as well as other simulations that have evolved as my body went through many changes as a result of abusing "E" and having no "T" production from testes. All of these sexual simulations that have evolved in my case seem normal. Of course we're speaking about physical sex. Doesn't seem to make any difference whether it is from a male or female. Relations on the other hand have not change over the years. I love people for who they are, not what they are and always have. I've had many love relations with both sexes during my entire life. I've been legally married to both a female and a male as a heterosexual marriage.

So in short, I simply do not understand the title of the thread "traditional Gay rolls" Somebody will need to enlighten me on what this is all about. Are there some humans different from other humans in our species? ANd please don't give me the "gender" bit. There is either male or female or neither/both depending on how one medically defines us. As a nullo I am neither male nor female or I am both. I'm not really absolutely certain as to that but consider myself male since I have a prostate and do not have ovaries. However I do not have a penis or testes and I do have breasts. I'm not talking here about what box society places me in. Perhaps I just went off the deep end but it can be an issue for some. Just not me.

Zach,

My opinion may be skewed since I was born with & still have a penis, but if you were to remove societal norms that a man must have a penis and he must use it to penetrate then this urge to penetrate or jack off may not bother you as much. Especially since you have never had a penis to know you truly would enjoy penetrative sex or jacking off. I would guess most of what you are feeling is mental instinct. If you get right down to it a penis is for procreating and of course the byproduct is pleasure. As long as you are able to enjoy sexual encounters and receive pleasure from it and ejaculate, then what it the need to penetrate another person or jack off? you are still getting the same end result... ejaculation & pleasure. It also sounds like you have a great partner that is able to sexually satisfy you even without a penis.

Sorry for the ramble and hope I did not get off topic!

I like the way your mind works and the way you are able to process what happened to you.. I wish you accepted emails thru the site so we could chat more without getting too off topic where it changes the post.

ampnullolvr (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:16 pm I like the way your mind works and the way you are able to process what happened to you.. I wish you accepted emails thru the site so we could chat more without getting too off topic where it changes the post.

If you make five posts on the forums, the private message system will open up for you. You need 3 more.

Begoneboy, thank you for that response. It definitely serves as proof that we are very complex beings. I used quotes around “traditional gay roles” because I know it is complex, and I don’t understand it all even if society wants to reduce us to a box to check, a zero or one, yes, no.

I’m certainly complex. While I understand your experience on one level, I’m still baffled as to what one experiences as the penetrative parter. When I was middle school age, I remember humping my pillow or the edge of the bed with my crotch just to feel *something* and pretend like I was using my penis. Of course I didn’t have one of those, but I fantasized that I did.

In real life I avoided ANY intimate encounters no matter how horny I was. It’s possible I started out as bisexual, but I was convinced that no girl or woman would give me the time of day. At the same time, I didn’t know how to “be gay” either. In time, I felt comfortable enough to act on my attraction to other guys. Ironically, I received a better than expected reaction most of the time.

Still...let me me clear...I never have, and never will be able to penetrate anyone of any gender. Only after years of therapy did I get to a point where I can accept that. So...going back to “traditional gay roles”, I discovered that in many cases a lot of attention (some say too much) is placed on sorting out and classifying who is a top and who is a bottom. I can’t top naturally, but I can bottom all day. Right or wrong, there are those who really make sure that distinction is clear.

My initial sexual outings saw me desperately wishing I could top someone, but in time I’ve learned to eek out pleasure from every little erogenous zone I have. A key activity is being anally penetrated. That and a mouth and tongue where my penis should be will make me cum every time. In effect, I’m a total bottom and I love it because that’s how I learned to have extended orgasms. Of course I want more. That’s what I equate with sex. I’ve dropped the fantasy of penetrating someone. It’s not gonna happen. You’ve experienced sex and life with and without. I’m just playing the cards I was dealt, while disliking labels as well. Trouble is, society is all about labels.