Hello, this is my first time writing anything here, I don't really know how to start so I'm just gonna tell y'all I little about me,i hope you don't judge me.

I'm a 18 years old straight boy, I haven't and don't intend to have any kind of attraction towards men. But I also don't like liking woman,it's weird but I feel disgusted and wrong whenever I have sexual thoughts for anyone, and when I masturbate I feel more guilty every time I do it.

At first I thought I was assexual, but after a little research I found out That, assexual people just don't feel sexual attraction towards anyone, and I do (and sometimes I act upon them). I just don't like feeling this way.

I kept doing searches for what is this I'm feeling and what I can do about it, but everywhere I went everyone just said that I can't force it, that I don't have a choice about it, that you either are assexual or not. And I believed it, Until I discovered chemical castration, and alongside with that, this site.

So I found this site a few months ago, and read a lot of threads here,and found out that everyone around here has their reason for it; some want to change sex, some have problems with cheating, some have had an actual disease that led em to castrate themselves,* and some are similar to me, people who just want to low their sexual drive.

So here's the thing...

I wanna try it out.

Before coming here I thought chemical castration was only a punishment they did to sexual criminals so they can't have erections, and that the drugs they used were somehow impossible to find around.

But now I know that it's nothing like that, it doesn't make it impossible to have erections, you just lose all your will to do so, and that's what I wanted to feel. No to mention that you can find the same drug they use, on a pharmacy.

I'm not looking for any life-changing effects, just a period of 3 months (max) being chemistry castraded to see how it feels.

But there are some things that I would like so hear some opinion about before trying it , and thus I'm making this blog.

Firstly , I don't want anyone to find out what I'm doing. I know that it's not safe to self administrate drugs, but I don't want to go through the trouble of trying to explain my situation to my family, especially as I'm not sure if this something I want for the rest of my life. So if anyone here has self medicated before, I would like to hear how was your experience.

Secondly , I'm planning on using depo provera becouse, for what I've seen here, it's the most efficient drug for chemical castration cuz :

-it's cheap;

-you don't have to keep remembering to use everyday(as an oral drug) ;

-has very little feminization effects

-you can get it without a prescription.

And lastly , if after the trial I see that this is something I like, something that feels right, I'll come out talk to my family about it, then maybe see a medic to see about long term chemical castration

So that's it. I want to hear any opinions you have about all this.

You don't say where you live, so I'm going to say this. In the USA there is an organization called Planned Parenthood. They can start you on anti-androgen's. That is how I started, to test the waters before I had an orchiectomy. They will also do blood testing to make sure you're healthy and that the drugs are doing what they should be doing. I don't recommend that you to this on your own. Your health is too important to not be under the care of a doctor. Plus, they won't tell anyone.

At your age, don't do this unsupervised - meaning without professional monitoring. There's a lot here to read and learn, just use the search feature.

Gordon is correct, you can acquire this treatment relatively inexpensively. The reason of wanting to lower or eliminate sexual attractions should be enough information to give.

Maybe you are a demisexual which means you only feel sexual attraction to someone after forming a deep connection. Either way, welcome to the site and I hope we can help you find the answers that you seek.

Hey @Bhartlucas Bhartlucas,

Welcome home. There is so much information here and a great community.

I agree with much of the above. Get a doctor and even if they don't agree with your using depro, they can at least monitor your live, kidneys and all those other internal bits and pieces that are seemingly important. Seriously, a doctor is a must.

Your feelings are valid. Perhaps there's a name for it and many others have the same feelings. Maybe, you are the only one with feelings exactly the way you have. But, either way, your feelings are real and they deserve attention and respect.

Again, welcome out of the shadows and into the light. Welcome home.

I suppose you're all right, I really shouldn't be taking such strong medicine without at least consulting a doctor.

I'm gonna do some research on how to find a adequate doctor to talk about this and see what I can do.its just gonna be harder to not let my parents notice what I'm doing.

I'm brazilian btw, so I don't think that this organization exists around here.

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 06, 2019 6:07 pm Maybe you are a demisexual which means you only feel sexual attraction to someone after forming a deep connection. Either way, welcome to the site and I hope we can help you find the answers that you seek.

I don't think that's he case. I mean, even I find it hard to understand sometimes, but whenever I'm not aroused I just don't like thinking about sex, I just wanna keep living my live, do the stuff I like and so on.

But when I get sexually excited it's like a part of my mind takes control, and I can't think of anything else until I mastusbate. It's really torturous for your mind to force you to do something you know you're gonna regret later.

Bhartlucas,

Don t worry about how you feel. Most young men feel that same out of control and ruled by my hormones that you feel when it comes to sex and masturbating. Its very normal for young men and teens and boys to feel this way. You will get used to it and gain more control over your sex drive with more time and experience. All men go through this struggle to control our impulses and instincts driving us to seek sex and masturbate countless times. Its a normal part of being a male and a grown man.

Don t be too fast in taking action to ruin your testicles or decrease your sex life. I have had many young cowboys working for me who swore they never wanted to have any kids. They all thought about getting sterilized to never have any kids. But as soon as they got into their 20s and met the right women, they couldn t wait to start impregnating and having all the babies that they always said they d never have for years and years as teens. You can take your time on doing anything risky to your testicles. You have lots of years ahead of you to learn how to control your sex drive and make decisions. Its perfectly healthy for all males to masturbate and avoid all the risks of sex with partners like pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, jealous boyfriends, angry fathers, and endless other problems that healthy masturbation prevents for men, teens and boys.

If your primary goal is to reduce your libido, you might consider one of the SSRI drugs like Paxil. Of course, those have a variety of other side effects, but so does castration. Just a thought.

cutnbulls2ox (imported) wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:59 am Bhartlucas,

Don t worry about how you feel. Most young men feel that same out of control and ruled by my hormones that you feel when it comes to sex and masturbating. Its very normal for young men and teens and boys to feel this way. You will get used to it and gain more control over your sex drive with more time and experience. All men go through this struggle to control our impulses and instincts driving us to seek sex and masturbate countless times. Its a normal part of being a male and a grown man.

Don t be too fast in taking action to ruin your testicles or decrease your sex life. I have had many young cowboys working for me who swore they never wanted to have any kids. They all thought about getting sterilized to never have any kids. But as soon as they got into their 20s and met the right women, they couldn t wait to start impregnating and having all the babies that they always said they d never have for years and years as teens. You can take your time on doing anything risky to your testicles. You have lots of years ahead of you to learn how to control your sex drive and make decisions. Its perfectly healthy for all males to masturbate and avoid all the risks of sex with partners like pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, jealous boyfriends, angry fathers, and endless other problems that healthy masturbation prevents for men, teens and boys.

I appreciate that you took your time to give your opinion here, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you.

I don't think i(or anyone else) should just "don't care about how we feel" just so we can fit into the same model as everyone else.

And I explicitly said that I just want to do something for a short time, I have no intentions of damaging my body permanently.

It's now recent that I feel disgusted by thinking about sex, because I feel this way since I began going through puberty, and I did exactly what you suggested, I waited. I thought that it was just a phase like a lot of other ones I was going through at the moment, but it's been more 5 years and nothing's changed.

So now that i can legally make my own decisions and think for myself, i wanna get rid of my sex drive temporarily.

and maybe learn more about myself.