Hello!
Posted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:00 am
Hi everyone, I'm Lesley.
I have lurked for a long time but now feel like I should give my own backstory and maybe contribute something. Ever since I was little I knew I didn't fit into the gender spectrum, I couldn't identify or bond with other males and being feminine felt far more natural to me. This led to a lot of unhappiness growing up, feeling like I had to supress how I really felt and to conform to male gender stereotypes. This continued to around 4 years ago when I knew something had to change, this has led to a lot of experimenting with my gender and seeing where I fit and since then I've come to the conclusion that I am infact genderfluid. There are parts of being male that I do enjoy, my hated towards this has obviously come from being forced to conform. Since I've dropped the pretence I now know that I am somewhere down the middle. I like my feminine appearance but I have no issues with my male body from the neck down.
A couple of years ago I started to see a gender therapist about these feelings maintaining that I have no interest going on estrogen and want castration as I have no interest in having a sex drive, but would try chemical castration before making a final decision. These requests have been denied and my therapist has said in not so many words that if I identified as female and went on HRT then she would be able to do the referral for an orchiectomy, so I'm in a situation whereby I lie and take estrogen to get what I desire or I continue to tell it like it is and not be forced into a box I don't want to go into. At this point I'm not really sure what to do and how to go forward.
I have lurked for a long time but now feel like I should give my own backstory and maybe contribute something. Ever since I was little I knew I didn't fit into the gender spectrum, I couldn't identify or bond with other males and being feminine felt far more natural to me. This led to a lot of unhappiness growing up, feeling like I had to supress how I really felt and to conform to male gender stereotypes. This continued to around 4 years ago when I knew something had to change, this has led to a lot of experimenting with my gender and seeing where I fit and since then I've come to the conclusion that I am infact genderfluid. There are parts of being male that I do enjoy, my hated towards this has obviously come from being forced to conform. Since I've dropped the pretence I now know that I am somewhere down the middle. I like my feminine appearance but I have no issues with my male body from the neck down.
A couple of years ago I started to see a gender therapist about these feelings maintaining that I have no interest going on estrogen and want castration as I have no interest in having a sex drive, but would try chemical castration before making a final decision. These requests have been denied and my therapist has said in not so many words that if I identified as female and went on HRT then she would be able to do the referral for an orchiectomy, so I'm in a situation whereby I lie and take estrogen to get what I desire or I continue to tell it like it is and not be forced into a box I don't want to go into. At this point I'm not really sure what to do and how to go forward.
