T -10 days.

You know that feeling of excitement when some important event is inevitably approaching. Thats what many of us feel, when orchiectomy or chem castration start date is approaching.

Many thoughts rush through your head. I have been very cautious and relutcant, despite I think that I should have had an orchiectomy long time ago. There are many factors that have held me back. One of them is availability and affordability of either drugs or orchiectomy. But now I have supply of Androcur for about 6 months. I would choose Triptorelin, if it was possible for me. Androcur has some effects that I do not like much. Also it seems to be not as reversable as Triptoreline. It seems like it is capable in destroying androgen receptors. At least it has probably happened in some rare cases. But as it is mostly used on men terminally ill, noone really cares about chem castration reversibility.

I have been on Androcur once before, only for a very short time. Too short. This time my plan is to stay on Androcur for 3,5 months. A month into trial I will start to use Raloxifene, to see if there are any other noticeable effects except antibreast growth and antiosteoporosis effects.

A plan to start on 15. May. So that by 1. June I should start to feel effects. I will stay chemically castrated for a coming summer period. I chose that time in a year because of more physical activity, being outdoors and more happy. Should be beneficial to fight weight gain and depression.

Also I plan to take Vitamin D and B12 + Iron + Magnesium + Calcium. To fight anemia, osteoporosis and tiredness due to Androcur induced vitamin B deficiency. Perhaps it makes my sleep better, as I remember from last trial bad sleeplessness.

I can expect all kind of effects. Like testicular size reduction, penis size reduction, hot flashes, sleeplessness, weakness, tiredness, etc. I expect to have unexpected side effects. Like not fully recovering from this trial.

I am so excited to see my annoying morning erections vanishing.. Loosing desire to masturbate many times a day. Loosing interest in porn. Not getting hard seeing someone sexually exciting. Discovering suddenly that I haven't masturbated for weeks... Libido is not welcomed in modern society. Especially male libido and homosexual libido. Thats what I feel.

It is funny that thinking about my own castration makes me aroused. It has been this way since I was 15. I haven't figured out why. Am I mtoE transgender? maybe. Do I hate my own sexuality? yes I do, but at the same time I enjoy orgasms. Orgasm is like some really filthy part of me, that I want to get rid off. Would I have enjoyed being an eunuch... yes, I think so. In a right environment, yes.

Why have I been reluctant with chemical castration, mostly because I want to recover 100%. It is because I have that strange fetish that when I finally going to by surgically castrated, I want my balls at full size and good health. good to look at them in the jar. Also it means steep fall of T level and noticeable changes after surgical castration. As I still can not go ahead with surgical castration for various reasons, I would like to have some real real "being castrated" experience while accepting possible negative consequences. Thats a life. You often need to make compromises.

So, first dose in 10 days. And Journey starts. Until then I feel increasing excitement and more thoughts about possible negative outcomes.

CaCl2 injections have been a wonder for me. My testicles have shrunken to ~25% of their original size and might continue to shrink. My T must be at or near castrate levels. I have transitioned to estradiol and progesterone to maintain health but am also enjoying developing breasts. I don't have erections and have no desire to use my penis for any purpose other than urinating. I have no male libido. Sexual fantasies are nonexistent and I absolutely love this state of being. The only sexuality I've explored is bringing myself to orgasm by nipple stimulation. It's really pleasurable. For me there are no downsides. I will leave it up to my internist to decide whether I should be castrated. As long as E dominates T, I'm good.

T -6 days

I've been prepared. My current T level is 608ng/l. My testicular volume is 37.2ml. (measured with skin) I am already taking D-vitamin along with calcium. Also B12 with Iron and Magnesium supplements. I have increased my physical activity already. It is easier to continue with physical activity when low T hits, than start it then.

For eunuch these vitamins are essential, as with loss of T, vitamin D absorption along with calcium absorption is reduced. Vitamin D deficiency is common in population. About 50% of population suffer from low D vitamin levels. It can cause muscle pains, backpains, tiredness, immune deficiency. B12 is good for your neurological wellbeing. You sleep better, your memory is better, you're more happy, you got more energy. Also Iron is good for eunuch, as bloodcell production is reduced, it is better not to have Iron deficiency.

My current libido is quite strong. I get erections every morning, I masturbate once a day, I can have an orgasm in one minute from starting with limp dick. Not getting hard in public showers requires some willpower. I am quite old, but I still have mild acne. I never had strong acne either but it never went away.

I plan to take first Androcur, 50mg a day on 15th of may. next day I will take 2x50mg, then 3x50mg and finally continue with 4x50mg for a week and reduce dosage to 3x50mg. And then after week or two to 2x50mg. After 6 weeks I will add Raloxifen.

I am excited to see and feel my libido vanishing, but I am afraid of loosing my T permanently too. But I have made my decision. If it becomes permanent then I accept it. I wonder how my genital size will be affected.YMWV, I know. We'll see.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 10:11 am T -6 days

I've been prepared. My current T level is 608ng/l. My testicular volume is 37.2ml. (measured with skin) I am already taking D-vitamin along with calcium. Also B12 with Iron and Magnesium supplements. I have increased my physical activity already. It is easier to continue with physical activity when low T hits, than start it then.

For eunuch these vitamins are essential, as with loss of T, vitamin D absorption along with calcium absorption is reduced. Vitamin D deficiency is common in population. About 50% of population suffer from low D vitamin levels. It can cause muscle pains, backpains, tiredness, immune deficiency. B12 is good for your neurological wellbeing. You sleep better, your memory is better, you're more happy, you got more energy. Also Iron is good for eunuch, as bloodcell production is reduced, it is better not to have Iron deficiency.

My current libido is quite strong. I get erections every morning, I masturbate once a day, I can have an orgasm in one minute from starting with limp dick. Not getting hard in public showers requires some willpower. I am quite old, but I still have mild acne. I never had strong acne either but it never went away.

I plan to take first Androcur, 50mg a day on 15th of may. next day I will take 2x50mg, then 3x50mg and finally continue with 4x50mg for a week and reduce dosage to 3x50mg. And then after week or two to 2x50mg. After 6 weeks I will add Raloxifen.

I am excited to see and feel my libido vanishing, but I am afraid of loosing my T permanently too. But I have made my decision. If it becomes permanent then I accept it. I wonder how my genital size will be affected.YMWV, I know. We'll see.

\\

Good luck with your trial. I start mine in a few weeks. I'm planning on taking 2X50mg per day for 30 days and then one 50 mg tablet at day from there.

Nathan74 (imported) wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 4:34 pm \\

Good luck with your trial. I start mine in a few weeks. I'm planning on taking 2X50mg per day for 30 days and then one 50 mg tablet at day from there.

This is pretty much what I did and my libido disappeared after about two weeks, which is typical. I dropped down to 25 mg/day after a couple of months and it still seemed to be working. I didn't want to take more Androcur than necessary because of side effects, particularly shortness of breath.

notsomanly (imported) wrote: Sat May 11, 2019 6:58 am This is pretty much what I did and my libido disappeared after about two weeks, which is typical. I dropped down to 25 mg/day after a couple of months and it still seemed to be working. I didn't want to take more Androcur than necessary because of side effects, particularly shortness of breath.

I've got my fingers crossed going into this but I'm more than ready for the unwanted side effects. The main one I'm worried about is vertigo but the worse case that I've heard only lasted the for the first month. So I'll deal with that one if I have to as long as it goes away. Are you saying that since dropping your dose to 25 mg per day that you are free of the unwanted side effects now?

Nathan74 (imported) wrote: Sat May 11, 2019 10:43 am I've got my fingers crossed going into this but I'm more than ready for the unwanted side effects. The main one I'm worried about is vertigo but the worse case that I've heard only lasted the for the first month. So I'll deal with that one if I have to as long as it goes away. Are you saying that since dropping your dose to 25 mg per day that you are free of the unwanted side effects now?

I've been off Androcur since last August when I did my first CaCl2 injection. Any Androcur side effects went away quickly. It's much better to be without T and a little estradiol.

notsomanly (imported) wrote: Sat May 11, 2019 1:25 pm I've been off Androcur since last August when I did my first CaCl2 injection. Any Androcur side effects went away quickly. It's much better to be without T and a little estradiol.

How much estradiol are you taking daily?

Nathan74 (imported) wrote: Sat May 11, 2019 7:54 pm How much estradiol are you taking daily?

2 mg sublingual. I might be able to drop it further but I want it high enough to maximize breast development.

T0

Took my first 50mg today morning. I am so excited. Even got hard while driving to work. Strange, getting hard about thinking being an eunuch.

I am ready to embrace all the positive and negative effects of eunuchdom. Coming summer will be interesting. Hopefully by 1st of June I will experience most of the castration effects.

During my preparation for trial, I started to monitor my diet and became physically more active. Now about for 2 months. I have lost weight, from 95 to 92kg. We'll see how that will change.

I also log my masturbation and involuntary erections. Hopefully involuntary erections will be totally gone and masturbation is reduced from twice a day to twice a month.

Also testicle size will be monitored. I think once a week is enough.

Any ideas what else I should monitor?