Hey all. I’m new but lurked in the fiction archive a long time ago trying to get some perspective on what motivates folks to want castration, penectomy, etc. I’m not interested in either for myself or a prospective partner, but wanted to join because I’m in a different-but-adjacent sort of situation.

In June 2011 I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and in September 2011 I had a bad flare-up which led to the removal of my colon. I now have an ileostomy and what’s referred to as a “rectal stump”. While prepping for the very sudden surgery, I made the difficult choice to come out of the closet as gay to my friends and family. Even with that known, the surgeon really had no experience or advice as to whether I could ever bottom again, and having had no prior partners, it really messed with me — I kind of became fixated on something I may never be able to experience.

I’ve met a lot of straight dudes that just get the rectal stump removed and close it up, making a so-called “Barbie butt”. I’ve kept mine for now because there are other possible surgical options I could take, but I’ve never really taken the time in the last seven years or so to process and emotionally deal with this. I’m not expecting to find a lot of folks in the same situation as me but am hoping to seek advice and support with how to broach these subjects with dates or potential partners and rebuild my confidence to a degree.

Sorry for the long rambling story... hope it made sense. So, yeah. Hello and thanks for having me.

I m no expert on rectal stumps or how much rectum they leave a man to enjoy sex with. But as a top, if I like a man, you can always find ways to enjoy sex with him.

I d think any amount of rectum remaining could be gently stretched over time using butt plugs and dildos and a patient top man working his skills on, and with you, to give you enough space to enjoy bottoming different sized dicks entering you again in the future. If not, rimming and anal play would still be enjoyable for you and your sex partners. I wouldn t give those up if I were you. Those can drive men crazy with lust and great sensations as both top and bottom.

Realistically, you won t have the same casual hopping from man to man that you could enjoy before your surgery. But you were not into doing that earlier anyway. You ll need to find men who are more seriously into you as a man than simple one night stands with no emotions and bang and go sex. Since the best top men thrive on giving their bottom men pleasures and orgasms, respect, and gratitude, your challenging situation won t scare off serious top men. It might be a project for the right top men to explore what will work best for you together, as lovers. Restoring a bottom man s sexual enjoyment and abilities should be a giant turn on for many top men to relish and view as a rare duty and pleasure to undertake with you. Topping and bottoming are all about giving to each other for serious men.

My advice is to disclose your unique anatomy only with men seriously interested in you as a man and person, not just seeing you as today s fuck. Men interested in you can always find different ways to enjoy sex with you. Men can have sex with almost anything if the will and desire are there to begin with. But avoid the guys just looking for the usual no strings sex without emotions.

Dave,

I had a very close relative with an ileostomy. Like you, it was a sudden surgery. They lived a very long and happy life. I have no knowledge of how their sex life was but, I do know they traveled all over the world and never ever had a friend or family worry about the ostomy.

As far as an anal stump, my advice is to start with a finger (trim your nails). See how much you can stimulate your prostate.

One further piece of advice is safe sex. A condom is still required and please check out PrEP at hiv.gov