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Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 10:56 am
by Paolo
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7867388/s ... n-arousal/

This is a real SOB of a page to try and copy, so here's a bit. Get it before the link goes stale.

WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM Forget colonising Mars – From shrivelled willies to sex dolls and radioactive babies, expert reveals why sex will make living in space a nightmare.

SEX in space is a logistical nightmare with problems ranging from floating fluids to shrinking manhoods, a NASA-funded scientist says.

Dr John Millis, a US physicist and astronomer, spoke to The Sun Online about the issues faced by consenting astronauts who wish to engage in rumpy-pumpy in micro-gravity.

Dr Millis, of Anderson University in Indiana, compared sex in space to having intercourse while “skydiving” but added that it was “not impossible.”

He told The Sun Online: “The issues surrounding the act all revolve around the free-fall, micro-gravity, environment experienced by astronauts.

“Imagine engaging in sexual activity while skydiving - every push or thrust will propel you in opposite directions.

“Even the lightest touch can make it difficult to stay in contact if both persons are not properly anchored.

“The astronauts would need to brace themselves against the space station, and even each other.

“A shared sleeping bag, or similar, would perhaps be the most useful."

But more problems would arise if the romantic astronauts were able to lock together in a coital tryst.

Dr Millis, whose work has been funded by NASA, explains that in micro-gravity blood rises to your head, instead of your wedding tackle – making it harder for both men and women to get aroused.

This low blood pressure below the waist also causes the tissue in a bloke's proud todger to shrivel – potentially impacting an astronaut’s confidence when it comes to lift off.

Another issue is that male testosterone levels plummet in space meaning that rocket-riding adventurers suffer from a lack of sex drive, says Dr Millis.

He adds: "In fact, the heart will shrink over time the longer astronauts are in orbit.

"It also means that there is less blood in our lower extremities, the region that the body pulls from when generating an erection."

Sex in an environment lacking gravity would result in ALL fluids such as sweat, vaginal wetness and semen pooling and floating around the cabin – making the high-jinks more than slightly uncomfortable, Millis revealed.

He said: "It would likely be very hot, especially as two bodies press against each other, as well as sweaty.

"Because of the micro-gravity environment sweat and tears don't run down the astronaut's bodies like it does hear on Earth, instead it pools like small ponds of fluid near where it was secreted.

"If the motion is vigorous enough it could be ejected from the surface of the body.

"That seems decidedly un-romantic while also possibly bringing challenges to physical movements."

However, the academic believes that despite the difficulties a couple "could certainly become aroused and reach climax in space. "

Captain Kirk and the famous space dildo: https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/upl ... .jpg?w=960

(Why they felt the need to add this, I have no clue. How it made it to TV in the 60's, I have no clue!)

In his book, Life in Space, NASA technician Harry Stine claimed that sex had been simulated by the space agency – and that a lucky “third person” was the best way to facilitate the friskiness.

He said: "It was possible but difficult and was made easier when a third person assisted by holding one of the others in place."

US sci-fi author and inventor Vanna Bonta created an outfit known as the 2suit to help astronauts get their rocks off in space.

Vanna came up with the idea while she and her husband were taking part in a zero-gravity flight and were unable to hug each other because of the weightlessness.

Story continues...

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 6:32 pm
by fhunter
Do not start me.

Ok, the problem of "flying apart" is kinda easy. just make the suit out of velcro belts. Would look "interesting" and actually help with "adhesion" :-p

Same with walls/etc. I can totally see a manual on sex in space: "attach your partner to the velcro wall..."

But cleaning of that would be hard. As for the liquids - one idea "coital chamber", with air flow in one direction (away from the head), so at least it would not be a choking hazard.

PS. Mars gravity should be more than enough for the process to occur naturally.

PPS. Just do the rotating ship or station from, say "Space Odyssey 2001" and be done with it.

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 6:34 pm
by madnomadtoo (imported)
"Wedding tackle!!!" I love it!

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:50 pm
by cutnbulls2ox (imported)
Head to foot condoms and bondage will make things easier lol !

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:18 am
by ambiguous (imported)
Going back to the original title I guess Bill Shatner also had the additional problem of his Toupee floating off in zero gravity as well.

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 2:20 pm
by cutnbulls2ox (imported)
Sperm must love swimming in zero gravity, even lighter than swimming in liquids. I wonder if it screws up their guidance systems.

The women s eggs might not migrate down from the ovaries into her womb in zero gravity ?

I m guessing men s actively swimming sperm would be less affected than eggs that can t move along on their own.

I wonder how far a distance our ejaculations could shoot out in zero gravity ? The male astronauts must have jacked off to see and to provide the fresh sperm samples to study in zero gravity. The weightless sex studies must have had lots of eager volunteeers. How many miles high club would they join in having sex in space. Those Russian men orbiting for record long periods in space must have shot out lots of zero gravity semen loads all over their living quarters, worse than us as busy teens jizzing all over the place.

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 3:38 pm
by Dekeldoh (imported)
This is pure gold.

I guess asexuals are the only truly qualified astronauts. Maybe our talent for space colonization will overcome the bias of natural selection.

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:09 pm
by fhunter
cutnbulls2ox (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 2:20 pm I wonder how far a distance our ejaculations could shoot out in zero gravity ?
Far enough. The only force acting on flying liquid would be air drag. Speeds are relatively slow here. Liquids in zero-g form into sphere or teardrop shape, depending. So their drag coefficient gets pretty low (sphere is 0.47, teardrop can get as low as 0.04). And as the speed gets slower, air drag gets even lower (it is proportional to square of speed). If the speed is low enough for laminar flow, the drag will be even lower. Actually nice topic for a thesis :D.

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2018 5:07 pm
by Begoneboy (imported)
fhunter wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:09 pm Far enough. The only force acting on flying liquid would be air drag. Speeds are relatively slow here. Liquids in zero-g form into sphere or teardrop shape, depending. So their drag coefficient gets pretty low (sphere is 0.47, teardrop can get as low as 0.04). And as the speed gets slower, air drag gets even lower (it is proportional to square of speed). If the speed is low enough for laminar flow, the drag will be even lower. Actually nice topic for a thesis :D.

Perhaps a better topic for the thesis would be "the need or desire to ejaculate in zero gravity. I mean with zero gravity the sex could go on forever one would think.

I would be a willing partner for somebody to test the concept. 😇

Re: Well, It Never Stopped Captain James T. Kirk?!

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:00 am
by ambiguous (imported)
Theoretically you should be able to fertilise an egg or two on the other side of the galaxy.

There would be no air or gravity to slow said ejaculate down.

Also as its cold in space cryogenics kick in and would freeze those swimmers until they came across a warm surface.

Immaculate conception ?