Dave craps on a movie: 10 Cloverfield Lane

[Dave (imported)]

10 Cloverfield Lane

Dave craps on “10 Cloverfield Lane” after watching about the last 15/20 minutes.

OMG - eye bleach won’t help you. Brain bleach is ineffective. It’s bad, terribly bad, and uninspired trash. It’s not a completely terrible plot, simply guessable, predictable, and derivative. . . It’s not that the acting is uninspired, more like the characters are cardboard and never developed, and the characters aren’t even likable. Three people survive the alien attack and hide in a bunker only to argue over who gets to have sex with the only woman. And worse, one of the men turns out to be an insane rapist who built the bunker to do bad things to women. Also, they all die, sort of, maybe, of jealousy and alien stupidity. The original was reasonably good as long as the viewer didn’t get motion sickness from the shaky-camera effect. That’s what I called anything shot with hand held cameras - - shaky-cam. The picture jiggles like Jello and pretends to be of some amateur quality when really, all it does is make the audience puke up their rather expensive popcorn and overpriced candy bars. 10 Cloverfield Lane changes all that by hiding inside a bunker with three characters and a bad script. Except for the last 10 minutes when the “heroine” finds out that aliens have indeed invaded and they abound and they are poisoning the world and killing everyone. Too little, too late. The commercials are a relief from the agony of watching the maggots consume this utter, rotting tripe.