I fetishized castration for years, but my turning point from fantasy to "I think I need this" came when I spent 10 days with a friend in his small Portland apartment. I couldn't jerk off (not a fan of quickly rubbing one out in somebody else's bathroom) and without that release, my desire for actual castration grew exponentially. In the year and a half that followed, I waxed and waned--sometimes desperately needing it, other times knowing "for sure" that it was just a fantasy run amok. One thing that was consistent though was that my need waxed more when I didn't get off for a few days.

People on here who know me know that I'm happy to have become a eunuch (I feel like I'm finally past the shame issues I brought up in another thread, knock on wood). It's a fetish yes, but also a legitimate need. Now I'm feeling the same way about penectomy--the need getting stronger when I go a few days without an orgasm. Anybody else experience this dynamic?

I had that happen. Look at me now.

Did not know that! And you turned out quite well

Qunuch81 (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:31 am Now I'm feeling the same way about penectomy--the need getting stronger when I go a few days without an orgasm.

Hey @Qunuch81,

Thanks for the update. Seems as if your MTE desires don't wane with lack of sex drive.

I was castrated in December and it's led me to needing the rest of my junk off.

Mine hasn't been a frustration of not being able to get off in my environment; it's been an awakening that I don't need or want to have a cock anymore.

I had half subincision before castration. Now I would like to continue it all the way down. Will there be desire, splitting the entire penis?

When I can't get off for a while I do have an increased interest in castration which translates into a heightened desire to think and write about it.

But when it comes to genital mods I've always been a fantasy only sort of guy. I enjoy playing with it too much to actually let it go.

If for some reason I had to go a really long time without relief I don't know what the effect on me might be. There's no saying.

From memory, one member some time ago explained that he had a history of doing really extreme stuff to his dick. He has since learned to jack off as soon as he recognizes those thoughts. That puts an immediate end to those thoughts.

Arab Nights (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:09 pm From memory, one member some time ago explained that he had a history of doing really extreme stuff to his dick. He has since learned to jack off as soon as he recognizes those thoughts. That puts an immediate end to those thoughts.

That makes perfect sense. When a man is getting sufficient amounts of enjoyable sex or masturbation, he is appreciating and enjoying his dick and balls. The release is also taming and feeding his sex drive what it needs and desires.

When a man isn t getting enough orgasms and ejaculations, his strong sex drive to get those becomes a drumbeat in his head and body that won t stop until he gets those orgasms and ejaculations. That drive to enjoy sex gets so intense in some men that they can hardly think of anything but how to get those. That endless hunger for sex can only be temporarily fed and satisfied. Then it starts all over again with that deep desire in your cock and balls to climax again and again.

Those aching blue balls and straining erect penis seem to want to control us completely until we are nothing but a machine seeking endless and repeating sex and orgasms above all else. A slave to our balls and dicks.

That s when those urges to control or destroy your balls and dick kick into high gear. The slave fighting his master s ( his penis and testicles and his testosterone ) control over him.

I get

cutnbulls2ox (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:45 am sufficient amounts of enjoyable sex or masturbation

anally.

I don't achieve much of an erection and orgasm and ejaculation isn't spectacular; a tiny rush followed by a few clear drops dribbling out.

Stimulating my prostate, either by being fucked or by myself with a toy, I'm blissed and can last for an hour or more before I orgasm.

That said, since castration I've become completely ambivalent to having a penis. I look at my little cock and shriveled empty scrotum and, increasingly, don't want them anymore. They don't feel like they're part of me.

I'm thinking it's time to share my ambivalence with my doctor to find my path to nullification.