Jokes

[Erik (imported)]

>Heaven

>

>A little boy was talking to his teacher about whales.

>The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow

>a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was

>very small.

>

>The little boy stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

>Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a

>human; it was physically impossible. The little boy said, "When I

>get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah

>went to hell?"

>

>The little boy replied, "Then you ask him".

>__________________________________________________ ___________________

>God

>

>A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children

>while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each

>child's work.

>

>As she got to one little boy who was working diligently, she asked

>what the drawing was? The boy replied, "I'm drawing God." The

>teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

>

>Without missing a beat, or looking up from his drawing, the boy

>replied, "They will in a minute."

>__________________________________________________ ____________________

>Brothers and sisters

>

>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with

>her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to

>"honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "is there a commandment

>that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without

>missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,

>"Thou shall not kill."

>__________________________________________________ ____________________

>White hair

>

>One day a little boy was sitting and watching his mother do the

>dishes at the kitchen sink. He suddenly noticed that his mother has

>several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her

>brunette head. He looked at his mother and inquisitively asked,

>"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

>

>Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong

>and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little

>boy thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma,

>how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

>__________________________________________________ ____________________

>Photograph

>

>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying

>to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think

>how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,

>'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a

>doctor.'"

>

>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the

>teacher. She's dead."

>__________________________________________________ ____________________

>Empty

>

>A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

>Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I

>stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I

>would turn red in the face."

>

>"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing

>upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my

>feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."