When I was on the verge of puberty I could masturbate but only produce small amouts of clear ejaculate. I thought I was bad and wanted to be punished for it. I had a fantasy at the time that my mother would catch me and she would punishe me for it. I really did fantasise about her tying me up on my bed and cutting off my penis as punishment. I still have fantasies today of being punished by my mother on my penis and testicles as a young pubescent. Anyone else here into mother/son incest and penectomy related thoughts?