When I was 3 my Dad forced me to give hima Blow Job. He did it only once but Once was too many times. If this is related to my current situation I'm not sure.

I have struggled with Masturbation for years. I've tried stopping so many times. Last year I was able to stop and I cant figure out how. I went months without doin it. Then last May It started again. granted it's not every day anymore but once a Week. I'm dying for the time where I can go months again. When I did stop for months at a time I never felt so happy and content. Every now and then I fantasize on what it would be like not having Genitals. I have felt for the longest time that I do not want sex for the plain sake of pleasure searching. I want it to be a spiritual act and that alone. But I'm now 43 and my prospects of having a Girlfriend or wife are diminishing. I've been thinking seriously about becomming a Eunuch solely for spiritual reasons. I want to be "pure". I was happier when I didnt masturbate and I know I could be happier without the package. I've thought that even though I f I become a Eunuch I still can please a woman sexually with Massage and oral sex. Just the pleasure I could feel I wish to give up. I find my genitels to be more of a nuisance and I dont find the sexual gratifictaion to be very satisfying. especially in masturbation. Even though I am thinking about it. I'm not sure yet If I want to do it. I'm worried about things like pain, ability to goto the bathroom, and How loss of testosterone will effect me.

Please do a lot of research and don't jump to quickly into anything permanent as you will be living with it for the rest of your life. I am a eunuch and it has no effect on my bathroom functions and I have no lasting pain but other side effects of no T do need seriously resurched and considered! Be aware if you go on TRT that your old habits most likely will return and with what you say you are seeking you will not have.

sparkey49 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:17 pm Please do a lot of research and don't jump to quickly into anything permanent as you will be living with it for the rest of your life. I am a eunuch and it has no effect on my bathroom functions and I have no lasting pain but other side effects of no T do need seriously resurched and considered! Be aware if you go on TRT that your old habits most likely will return and with what you say you are seeking you will not have.

I joined this forum to find out more about it. I havent made a decision yet and I'm looking into it. What is TRT?

Oyktiro1 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:25 pm I joined this forum to find out more about it. I havent made a decision yet and I'm looking into it. What is TRT?

Testosterone Replacement Therapy

I just really hate myself when I masturbate. I feel like I'm betraying mysefl when I do. Perhaps just a castration will do? I've read that that can be done chemically is that true?

Oyktiro1 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:29 pm I just really hate myself when I masturbate. I feel like I'm betraying mysefl when I do. Perhaps just a castration will do? I've read that that can be done chemically is that true?

I did it chemically at first. When I realized the people I was attracted to weren't getting any older I started being ashame of sex. So my first chemical attempt was I guess around 2000~ when a friend, Luvpain, sent me some Androcur. I remember it coming from India. That was when I was 20, I experimented with Androcur on and off several times before I decided it was finally the right decision on my 25th birthday in 2005. I'm 36 now, when I go back and think of it, I believe it was the right decision.

But yes, please be sure it's for you. Androcur gave me lack of breathe which is apparently a side effect, so that stopped once I no longer needed it on my 25th birthday.

If your father sexualized you at such a young age you need counseling before anything else. Castration will reduce the drive but will not fix the brain. Due to what has happened to you I suggest you resolve those issues before you move on to chemical of physical castration. You have had one regretful situation in life and please do not make another.

Tugon

Amen I believe a lot of my desire and completion of castration relates back to my childhood experiences!

I'm also with Tugon on this. Hating yourself for masturbating seems to me to indicate clearly that you need psychological help first. I believe that among men, there are two kinds of liars: those who say they've never masturbated and those who say they did but quit. I don't believe it should be a source of self-hate; it's what men do. Please get counseling before doing anything to your body.

Sandi

nothing is wrong with masturbation and enjoying it!!