Fantatic Beasts with Not so Fantastic Plot - SPOILERS
Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 4:58 pm
Spoiler alert, so you've been warned!
Yesterday, the Nun and I went to see this Harry Potter-inspired debacle that's not even a prequel.
Set about 70 years before the familiar adventures of everyone's favorite boy-wizard, FB&WTFT focuses on Newt Scamander, the author of one of Harry's textbooks - the titular name.
In 1926 New York, just before the publication of said book, Newt arrives to do business (albeit illegally) with a trader/breeder of some rare magical animal. Right from the off, we get the impression that wizards in the States are assholes, it's nothing like England, and the attitude on the wondrous critters is "see it, kill it!"
In short, something magical is trashing New York. The Magical Community fears being exposed. A since-fired Auror (cop) sees Newt and one of his critters, and arrests him. Blame falls on Newt, and the American Jerks don't want to listen to him. He's bent on rescuing his escaped creatures, and American wizards are bent on arresting him once he escapes custody.
Turns out, there are Muggles (No-Majs) who think they know about wizards, wizards know about them, etc., etc., and this is where it gets confusing.
There's no book to read for this film. It was written as a movie. So there's no help there. The thing tearing up NYC is something that Newt has seen before, he tries to explain it, not well at that, and we're never really sure what "IT" is. Disembodied magic of an untrained magical child? A magical child with runaway magic turning into a beast? A beast that sucked in a child and possessed him/her? Who knows? I still don't.
Anyhow, after rounding up his critters, it's up to Newt to save the day when disaster strikes and the "Thing" runs amok. The head Auror is after it, he thinks he knows what it is, he's working with a teenage boy who's the adopted son of the lady Muggle heading up the "burn the witches" gang, when suddenly Deus ex Machina hits.
The boy turns out to the "Thing," trashes a large chunk of the city, battle ensues, and of course, Newt gets him talked down as the ugly American wizards come rushing in knowing full well it's a "messed up kid" and open fire on him, blowing him to bits. Literally. Political statement, anyone?
Then, for reasons unknown , Newt realizes that the Head Auror isn't what he seems, and casts a Revello upon him, breaking his disguise and exposing him as Gellert Grindlewald. See HP7.1 & 7.2 for details, Deathly Hallows. Now, we saw Grindlewald's name in opening credits in newspaper clippings, and we heard one other Auror accused of having him, then losing him. And of course, for some reason, there's the red herring of "Why does Dumbledore like you so much?"
Don't know...never addressed it.
But Grindlewald is caught in the big reveal, and one of Newt's creatures, a Thunderbird, unleashes a storm over NYC to distribute a potion to wipe the memories of the entire city.
All's well that ends well, too.
Newt heads back to London to get his book printed, and everyone lives happily ever after.
This movie is a trainwreck that relies on a preexisting fan base which will, probably, not come back for more movies in this franchise. The plot is hard to follow, there are too many characters which are never developed, and also appear wooden. Newt even appears autistic, with jerky motions, mumbling, and never looking at you or anyone else that he is talking to. He seems mentally challenged, in fact. The cardboard characters are too old to appeal to teens or kids, which is where the original series initially set the hook that never let go.
This one has nothing to offer.
"Dead characters," poor plot, confusing plot elements, and of course, the Deus ex Machina of a reveal.
Save yourself the money and the trip and wait for this one to show up on DVD or Pirate Bay.
Rotten tomatoes? Or rotten testicles?
I give is a full basket of them!
Yesterday, the Nun and I went to see this Harry Potter-inspired debacle that's not even a prequel.
Set about 70 years before the familiar adventures of everyone's favorite boy-wizard, FB&WTFT focuses on Newt Scamander, the author of one of Harry's textbooks - the titular name.
In 1926 New York, just before the publication of said book, Newt arrives to do business (albeit illegally) with a trader/breeder of some rare magical animal. Right from the off, we get the impression that wizards in the States are assholes, it's nothing like England, and the attitude on the wondrous critters is "see it, kill it!"
In short, something magical is trashing New York. The Magical Community fears being exposed. A since-fired Auror (cop) sees Newt and one of his critters, and arrests him. Blame falls on Newt, and the American Jerks don't want to listen to him. He's bent on rescuing his escaped creatures, and American wizards are bent on arresting him once he escapes custody.
Turns out, there are Muggles (No-Majs) who think they know about wizards, wizards know about them, etc., etc., and this is where it gets confusing.
There's no book to read for this film. It was written as a movie. So there's no help there. The thing tearing up NYC is something that Newt has seen before, he tries to explain it, not well at that, and we're never really sure what "IT" is. Disembodied magic of an untrained magical child? A magical child with runaway magic turning into a beast? A beast that sucked in a child and possessed him/her? Who knows? I still don't.
Anyhow, after rounding up his critters, it's up to Newt to save the day when disaster strikes and the "Thing" runs amok. The head Auror is after it, he thinks he knows what it is, he's working with a teenage boy who's the adopted son of the lady Muggle heading up the "burn the witches" gang, when suddenly Deus ex Machina hits.
The boy turns out to the "Thing," trashes a large chunk of the city, battle ensues, and of course, Newt gets him talked down as the ugly American wizards come rushing in knowing full well it's a "messed up kid" and open fire on him, blowing him to bits. Literally. Political statement, anyone?
Then, for reasons unknown , Newt realizes that the Head Auror isn't what he seems, and casts a Revello upon him, breaking his disguise and exposing him as Gellert Grindlewald. See HP7.1 & 7.2 for details, Deathly Hallows. Now, we saw Grindlewald's name in opening credits in newspaper clippings, and we heard one other Auror accused of having him, then losing him. And of course, for some reason, there's the red herring of "Why does Dumbledore like you so much?"
Don't know...never addressed it.
But Grindlewald is caught in the big reveal, and one of Newt's creatures, a Thunderbird, unleashes a storm over NYC to distribute a potion to wipe the memories of the entire city.
All's well that ends well, too.
Newt heads back to London to get his book printed, and everyone lives happily ever after.
This movie is a trainwreck that relies on a preexisting fan base which will, probably, not come back for more movies in this franchise. The plot is hard to follow, there are too many characters which are never developed, and also appear wooden. Newt even appears autistic, with jerky motions, mumbling, and never looking at you or anyone else that he is talking to. He seems mentally challenged, in fact. The cardboard characters are too old to appeal to teens or kids, which is where the original series initially set the hook that never let go.
This one has nothing to offer.
"Dead characters," poor plot, confusing plot elements, and of course, the Deus ex Machina of a reveal.
Save yourself the money and the trip and wait for this one to show up on DVD or Pirate Bay.
Rotten tomatoes? Or rotten testicles?
I give is a full basket of them!