I was castrated in June 2015. While I had balls, my T level was a surprisingly low 287. After orchiectomy, I started doing 2 pumps Androgel every morning, which shot my T levels up to 570s. I felt fine, good.
In August 2015, 2 months post-orchie, I started having some really nasty anxiety attacks. Now it's true that there were a lot of factors in play--going off a med, coming to terms with some childhood crap, etc.--but I wondered at the time if castration and HRT had anything to do with it. My endocrinologist assured me that that wasn't the case, especially since I was simply replacing T rather than, say, going on E.
Fast forward to August 2016. Over the past year I've been working hard to manage my anxiety via meds and CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy, not cock and ball torture
). I've made great strides, but still have my ups and downs. That's normal.Here's the thing though. I went away over the weekend and forgot my Androgel. I was without it Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Late Monday and much of Tuesday, I noticed that I was less anxious, calmer. The most noticeable change was that I felt less irritable, far less likely to swear and scream in traffic.
I know that T is tied to aggression in the popular imagination (and much of the medical lit suggests that's actually an oversimplification), but I find it interesting that having a few days without T-replacement really improved my mood. Now I'm wondering if part of the reason my anxiety got so bad last year was because I had basically doubled my T-level by jumping from 287 to 570s in such a short period. Obviously, I need to consult with my endo on this, but I'd like to know if other folks have had similar experiences.
At any rate, I'm going down to 1 pump of Androgel each morning for now and seeing how that works!
I try to only use it once a week at most.