The Tribes, Chapter 26

[ringlo (imported)]

Another great "Tribes" episode by Androboy!

Thanks, David, I love this tale more and more with every new chapter.

ringlo

[bella (imported)]

Agreed another great episode!

[gontran (imported)]

Dear David

It seems a bit difficult to place any message to you. Anyway.

I’ve been reading through your work posted on the Archive, and cannot help be amazed at the quality of most of it, especially on the litterary level.

However I wanted to venture some critic, albeit not necessarily in a negative sense.

The novel about the Prince and the slave is very very well written, but it’s just the argument which makes me uneasy. That is, even if someone is stupid enough to give up his freedom, I remember that the Greek and Roman laws forbade some of the mistreatment of slaves which is portrayed in here.

But anyway. I liked the Vengeance tale, as well as the Slave Model. This one especially since it quite directly corresponded to a fantasy of mine. Well written stuff, mind you.

Now for your epic, The Tribes. I am amazed at your talent and productivity. I have calculated that, as for now (ch. 26) we are reaching the size of a big fat book, like 6” x8”, 900 pages, in 10 points type!!! Breathtaking, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to impatiently wait for the following. But, considering the size of the monument, I suppose it is no surprise that there may be some small problems of coherence. The latter being that I thought that Prometeus’s force was to be composed only of “redeemed” eunuch slaves. Another being that, according to the psychology of Gull which you have shown, I’d think it more likely that he’d circumcize Top Hat with a cruder method than the one you describe. (that is just tying the foreskin and slashing through it with a knife...)

There’s a couple of other secondary remarks which I’ll submit to you if ever you wish me to.

But until then I’ll say keep on the good work. There’s just this anecdote which I’d like to tell: a couple of years ago, I saw on the telly a programme about sciences in which was explained a little statistical card game. Players were given two types of cards: one “Treachery” and one “Collaboration”. If one player submitted the “collaboration” card, and also the other, both won a point, each. If one submitted the “collaboration” card, and the other the “treachery” card, only the latter won the point. If both submitted the “treachery” card, none won any point.

At the end of a series of games, the various results were charted. It soon appeared that the “evil” players quickly got the better of the “nice” ones. So one might get to think that being nice is stupid, and that being bad wins the game. But, said they, a curious thing happens at length. Indeed, over a longer period of time, what happenned is that the “evil” players ended up being thoroughly defeated by the “clever” players. That is, those who, upon seeing that the opponent starts playing dirty, do just the same. This stalls the game, forcing the “evil” guy to make a positive move, which is rewarded. As soon as he starts trying to cheat again, he gets clubbed. So, finally the “clever” wins, which seems to show that goodness can triumph only with the help of some shrewdness.

Hoping to read you soon.

G

[Paolo]

I've said it before and I'll say it again -

If you're not reading THE TRIBES, you should be. It beats the hell out of anything I ever read by Bad Boy Press, and those guys were getting PAID.

[androboy (imported)]

Dear David

It seems a bit difficult to place any message to you. Anyway.

I don't know why you might be having trouble contacting me - my e-mail address is on each of my stories.

I’ve been reading through your work posted on the Archive, and cannot help be amazed at the quality of most of it, especially on the litterary level.

Thank you for the compliment.

However I wanted to venture some critic, albeit not necessarily in a negative sense.

The novel about the Prince and the slave is very very well written, but it’s just the argument which makes me uneasy. That is, even if someone is stupid enough to give up his freedom, I remember that the Greek and Roman laws forbade some of the mistreatment of slaves which is portrayed in here.

Which argument are you talking about? There is no argument either for nor against the subject matter in the story.

As for anyone being stupid enough to give up his freedom - that is a bit of presumption I try to avoid. There are decisions that people make with which I disagree – that doesn’t mean that I think it is right to call them or their decisions stupid. There are thousands of – and probably many more – people seeking exactly that type of relationship. Through the Internet I have met some of these people (both Masters and slaves) and have found many of them to be very interesting people who seem to have found a lifestyle that works well for them. I have also met many who, quite frankly, make me uncomfortable. That second type I tend to ignore after initial contact.

As for Greek and Roman slave laws - I'm really not sure what they have to do with a story that is set in Switzerland in modern times. None of the characters introduced in that story are of Greek or Roman origin. In fact, the central character of Alexi is of Russian descent and is based on the historical figure of Prince Felix Youssoupov, cousin to Tsar Nicholas II and the central figure behind the murder of Rasputin. Youssoupov did wantonly use people for his own physical pleasure without regard for what happened to them once he was done with them. The truth is that I have deliberately given Alexi far more redeeming qualities than the real Prince Felix had in real life.

The first was reading Edvard Radzinski's new book about the murder of Rasputin that reveals just how depraved and debauched the entire incident was.

The second thing was the United Nations report on slavery in the modern world. Despite what most people would like to believe, slavery in all of its forms is very alive and well in the modern world. Sexual slavery appears to be at an all-time high. Around the world those with enough money can actually buy and sell subjects for their pleasure.

And the third thread was a discussion with some friends who are Criminal Justice majors. About 20 years ago, there was a rash of child disappearances across America that eventually inspired the "face on the milk carton" movement. One of the working theories is that at least some of those disappearances were the result of kidnappings by a sex ring.

The three threads triggered my mind and the story was born without any regard for ancient Greek or Roman practices.

But anyway. I liked the Vengeance tale, as well as the Slave Model. This one especially since it quite directly corresponded to a fantasy of mine. Well written stuff, mind you.

After your comments about "The Prince Trains a Slave," I'm a bit surprised that you liked Vengeance -- it contains many of the same themes. But, thank you again.

Now for your epic, The Tribes. I am amazed at your talent and productivity. I have calculated that, as for now (ch. 26) we are reaching the size of a big fat book, like 6” x8”, 900 pages, in 10 points type!!! Breathtaking, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to impatiently wait for the following. But, considering the size of the monument, I suppose it is no surprise that there may be some small problems of coherence. The latter being that I thought that Prometeus’s force was to be composed only of “redeemed” eunuch slaves.

The problem with writing an epic tale is that seems to be popular is that some people seem to spend more time looking for continuity problems than letting the story unfold. Now, I will have to do something I intensely dislike – give a teaser of things to come.

The Leader had a vision of former eunuch slaves forming a special terror squad called The Fireeaters – predicated on being able to rebuild the spirit of Prometheus. How can it be demonstrated that not only has Prometheus’ spirit been rebuilt, but that his sense of fear and intimidation no longer exist? He must make certain independent choices – he choosing to rename his terror squad and call them the Werewolves is one way. He choosing to recruit from outside the ranks of slaves is another – that does not mean that there won’t be some former eunuch slaves joining his ranks, there will be. And finally, being confronted by The Leader regarding his decisions and unflinchingly defending his choices.

Another being that, according to the psychology of Gull which you have shown, I’d think it more likely that he’d circumcize Top Hat with a cruder method than the one you describe. (that is just tying the foreskin and slashing through it with a knife...)

Well, I disagree. For one thing, Gull is not simply crude. He is a complex character who has grown beyond the effective but crude just chop and hack mentality. His methods of inflicting pain and punishment evolve as he evolves. I try as much as possible to keep the characters – especially major characters from becoming cardboard cutouts who always do the same thing over and over in the same manner. Sure Gull is a sociopath, but that doesn’t mean that he is crude.

For another, while I have allowed the characters to engage in some fairly violent and gory actions, I do try to think about the sensibilities of the readers whenever possible. And, there actually are some scenes that have been dramatically changed to reduce the level of gore and violence.

If you carefully study Gull, you will notice that he is anything but crude. He uses the tools available to him. But, he is sophisticated and cunning – in many ways he is more cunning than any other character in The Brotherhood.

[JesusA (imported)]

Inconsistencies in long-running serials??? Of course there are!

Some of the classics of literature were created as long-running serials. Characters and situations developed over the course of the writing. Some plot directions changed from what the author had originally envisioned. Sometimes characters "come to life" and take over from the author.

Go back and read Charles Dickens looking for inconsistencies across the length of his great novels. They were serialized over long periods of time. The first modern novel in Japanese, Natsume Soseki's "Wagahai wa Neko de Aru" (translated as "I am a Cat" and published in THREE volumes by Tuttle) was serialized in a newspaper for years. It's filled with minor (and a few major) inconsistencies, but it's still great literature.

Or, think of the long-running TV serials. How many inconsistencies can you find over the seasons of "Star Trek?"

To look at the longest running serial yet on the Archive, David's incredible epic "The Tribes," the number of inconsistencies is less than in the examples I've listed. Should the world ever shift enough that the story could be sold on the shelves of Barnes and Noble, I'm sure that David would rewrite the earlier chapters to remove the trivial inconsistencies and make them consonant with the conclusion.

In the meantime, SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE! This is very fine writing and it's great literature.

[Slammr (imported)]

Inconsistencies in long-running serials??? Of course there are!

Some of the classics of literature were created as long-running serials. Characters and situations developed over the course of the writing. Some plot directions changed from what the author had originally envisioned. Sometimes characters "come to life" and take over from the author.

Although I've only had a chance to read a small portion of David's epic, I'm amazed at the quality of his writing. I also agree with the quoted statement by Jesus. Sometimes, it seems as if the story writes itself. Even in writing a short story, I'll often have to go back to redo the beginning because of changes that have crept in while I wasn't looking. I can't even imagine writing a story of the length and complexity of David's and maintaining any coherence. It's currently beyond my ability, and, I would imagine, beyond that of the critics.

[gontran (imported)]

Jesus wrote

>

To look at the longest running serial yet on the Archive, David's

>incredible epic "The Tribes," the number of inconsistencies is less than

>in the examples I've listed.

>

In the meantime, SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE! This is very fine

>writing and it's great literature.

I have no problem with agreeing with that.

I suppose I should have just shut up, once more.

As for the email address, David, I'm afraid it's NOT available.

Yours

G