Folks who claim they want to be with Eunuchs/Nullos complaining in personals

[Losethem (imported)]

I have been browsing the personals seeing if there are any folks who are interested in chatting, talking to, being with a eunuch or nullo. This post isn't about actually finding someone or circumventing the process on the personals pages. Instead I'd like to provide insight and welcome others like myself (those who are actually modified) to address what these intact folks who claim they want guys like us, complain about on the personals.

I've personally run across the comment, "I give up on this site" and "why won't anyone talk to me" on the personals pages from guys who appear by their profile to be intact, but wanting to be involved with a eunuch or nullo.

Here are my thoughts:

1. In the two instances I mention above I see guys who are age appropriate for me (read: 10 years either side of my age) and complain nobody is contacting them. Well... What's wrong with you contacting us? I've never heard from either of you, and frankly, I'm interested. I did contact one of you, and I never heard back.

2. Don't expect the modified guy to do all the heavy lifting. With the rejection we get from people on traditional dating websites when they find out rabid forest creatures attacked us and took our parts, we're a rather gun shy lot. If you're interested in us, reach out. I'd recommend saying, "Hello..." as opposed to, "I think it's hot you cut your junk off..." While I'm flattered you find me hot, I did this for me, not to please someone else. I'm a person first, my modification second.

3. While in physical encounters I like the guy I'm with to be turned on by my mods, not get freaked out if they are mentioned in the heat of the moment, etc. there is more to sex, living, and outside bedroom life, than my lack of genitals. We can be firecrackers in the bedroom, but if that's all it is, it's not likely to go any further with any success. I want someone that likes me not only for my body, but for the rest of my life and living which is the vast majority of a relationship.

4. Quit expecting us to live next door to you, or expect us to be the only one willing to travel so we can meet. With as rare as we are in the world, expecting us to live next door to you is likely going to be unreasonable, though I suppose one could get lucky and be in the same town as the other. Expecting us to solely pay to travel to your location to meet you is also unreasonable. Shared cost, perhaps, but footing the entire bill, no. I'm not paying between $500 and $1000 for a weekend so you can fulfill your fantasy for a one-time fuck with a modified man. Frankly, the rent boy down the street is cheaper if I want that.

5. When you do contact us, have something to say. I will respond to "Hello" but the conversation needs to grow from there. When it dwindles to, "Hot", "Yup", "No", "Cool", etc. (basically one word responses on your end, with my side being the only thing being said with substance) it shows lack of interest and that you're expecting us to solely entertain you. Personally I find that disrespectful. We should be entertaining one another and learning about the other. This goes to the first point in #2 above about heavy lifting. Personally I want someone to engage me, not someone who expects to say hello and then wait for me to entertain them. The conversation should be a mutually beneficial exchange.

6. If all you're looking for is a one-time fuck, be up front about that. It allows us to set reasonable expectations should we want to meet you. While I'd like a relationship, sometimes a weekend rolling around in bed with someone is nice too. But let me know that is ALL it is.

This said, like Snow White, I know that someday my prince will come... and cum, and cum, and cum.

I remain hopeful.

--LT

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

:)Hollo Losethem you all ready know me from your sit and this sit so if are interested I can a gracious hostess. Maybe you mite like to come to Maine? Ernie

[jcat (imported)]

As always LT you spell it out loud and clear. I was thinking about you only yesterday and was going to message you today to see how you were getting on in finding Mr Right. The whole what is sex like with a nullo is well documented all over the place. I am genuinely interested in your journey and really hope you can cut through the bullshit and find Mr Right and I will celebrate when I hear you are living happily ever after.

As for the sex thing, at my great age I have come to learn that it really is not about whether someone has a big dick, is a eunuch, transgender or whatever....it is much more about the person and the connection that makes sex meaningful and earth moving. This said from one who is interested in anything with a pulse!! Sorry I can't help it I am a slut!

[talula]

You slut you.

[jcat (imported)]

You slut you.

Shame faced, it has got no better since my castration either, God only knows what will happen after I lose the penis too!

[Losethem (imported)]

Amusingly, after I wrote this, 3 folks contacted me in the personals. I'd like the thank them for reaching out. They know who they are.

I started this message because I sensed a bit of frustration from folks on both sides of this issue, and thought perhaps if a modified guy said something about what he was seeing and how he'd like to be engaged in conversation, it would help those on the other side that would like to talk know that we are interested in conversing with them and help set an expectation for that first contact.

I know if I'm worried nobody is reaching out to us, there might be some hesitation on the part of the intact men who would like to talk to us. I know I do a fair bit of "growling" related to this subject, and I think that comes from the frustration of being objectified. I'm also coming to the realization that guys who like to wank to the thought of a guy like me are likely going to be the pool of men that I have to choose from for an eventual LTR. I just have to be a bit patient and let them get over their initial excitement of conversing with a bonafide nullo.

At the end of the day, as much as a hot fuck is wonderful, I'm finding lately I'd prefer a guy who likes that and perhaps someone to share his life with outside of the bedroom. Or put another way, I'm getting too old for this running around and bed hopping crap.

--LT

[romuluso (imported)]

I'm glad u brought this up Losethem. I have been a long time lurker on the forums but I rarely post because I don't really know where my place is here. ive only been "seriously" interested in castration for about 6+ years. I try to research as much as I can but there's still a lot I don't understand. I remember someone reccomending waiting at least 10 years before actually having the procedure and I think that's a good timeframe to make an educated decision. Being now past the halfway point, it would mean so much to actually have a eunuch friend in my life who could share their experiences with me. I guess I just feel like I wouldn't be taken seriously yet. Sometimes I also feel guilty for seeing eunuchs as sex objects because I'm not sure that's how they want to be seen. All this leads to me staying in my corner, quietly observing and admiring the neutered lifestyle.

[jcat (imported)]

@romuluso (http://forums.eunuch.org/member.php?47402-romuluso) I play the slut because it amuses me! Even before I was castrated the cheekiness in me loves to tease and flaunt it. In reality I am much more interested in the person and usually great sex follows. I have many chats here with people and they come and go then there are the stalwarts who are always here.

I can certainly say that Losethem is a great person who throughout my hospitalization along with Hash and Genchick supported me and checked up on me after I had done some pretty dangerous stuff to my genitals. Why because I reached out to them in messages and told them what I was up to. Why because I realized they were people I could trust to share

Even though they are the other side of the Atlantic their care and support was amazing. Over the years I have done a few crazy things and a few years ago Talula gave me a lot of support when I needed it.

Developing a relationship here is a little strange as one rarely meets people face to face unless you go to MOM.

Last year I met a fellow Eunuch who is around here too and we spent a great time together sharing. So I am sure if you are more active and engage with the Archive you too will find real care and support. Whether that turns into an ongoing relationship is another thing.

I know Losethem is a great guy and like I said before, when he finds his prince I will be overjoyed. We can see hat here where people have even got married and there is a real sense of participation, like family. Or at least there is for me.

Of course there are many who live the dream and the whole thing is just one big fantasy and masturbation. They have their place and one just has to filter it out if not interested.

As for the journey, I joined in 2006 because I was suffering from terrible testicular pain and I am gender dysphoric. It was only in 2013 that I started to inject my testicles and eventually last year get castrated. In that interim period I started chemical castration in 2006 and did 3 or 4 periods of it before I was certain it was for me. So the long considered journey is a good thing as the permanence of physical castration cannot be rectified, or at least not yet!

By all means PM me with any questions I am always happy to help. I usually check here at least once a day to try and make a useful and sometime humorous contribution to EA. Hoping to get the Eunuch Oscars one day!

[Losethem (imported)]

I'm glad u brought this up Losethem... Sometimes I also feel guilty for seeing eunuchs as sex objects because I'm not sure that's how they want to be seen. All this leads to me staying in my corner, quietly observing and admiring the neutered lifestyle.

The biggest issue with folks who contact me that are into the fantasy (or in your case potentially the reality) is they start off with the sex stuff first. As much as I'd like to think I'm sexy, I'm a person first, and "You're hot" while I'm sure is meant to flatter, if it is the first thing said, it comes off as objectification. First and foremost I'd hope those who are intact or modified and want to find a modified guy to chat with/maybe meet/be in a relationship with, is to engage them as a human being first then get to the "hot" part.

I for one like hearing I'm hot , but I'd prefer a bit of before we get to .

--LT

[jcat (imported)]

First and foremost I'd hope those who are intact or modified and want to find a modified guy to chat with/maybe meet/be in a relationship with, is to engage them as a human being first then get to the "hot" part.

--LT

Amen! Losethem Amen!