A cop, a man, and his too-honest wife

[Prudence (imported)]

I read the previous thread about flipping off a cop, and it reminded me of this oldie but goodie:

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An older couple was pulled over by a cop. The officer said, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking..."

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

LOL Thank you, loved it

[Hopeful1 (imported)]

The Garda stopped an Irishman driving home. "Patrick," says the policeman, "have you been at the pub?" "I have." "And have you been drinking?" I've had a drop or two?" "Are you drunk, Patrick?" "Heavens no." "Then Patrick, why did your wife fall out of the car three blocks back and you not notice?" "Is that what happened? Thank the Lord, I thought I'd gone deaf!"