Hello everyone, first post here.

Ever since I was a young boy perhaps 9 years old i've wanted to be a girl. I'm not sure why, but my theory is that perhaps I was exposed to high levels of estrogen before being born.

Until fairly recently i've strongly opposed these feelings, as I was surrounded by intolerant family members and peers that I could not possibly show my inner self too, but now that Iv'e been living on my own for a year (i'm 19 years old) it is easier to be myself.

For the past four weeks or so i've been reading so many of these forum posts and admittedly watching enormous amounts of transexual porn. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I attempted to fully castrate myself at home in my kitchen using shears and I was nearly successful. I got one of them off before I panicked and called 911 on myself. I spent three days in the hospital and two days in a psychiatric facility. The psychiatrists diagnosed me with gender identity disorder. Unfortunately my mother found out what I did, and she ignored my pleas and told a bunch of people about what I did. Whatever, people were going to find out anyway I suppose.

Anyway I decided to make this post because I recorded the attempted castration and I just published the video on BestGore.com I'm not sure if I can post links, but if you really want to see it just search for self castration on Bestgore.com, Or if you're reading this today My video is the first video on the site because it's so new. WARNING IT'S EXTREMELY GRAPHIC!

If you are determined to try this yourself DON'T!!! but if you're planning on doing something like this anyway DO NOT think that you can do this without IMMEDIATE medical attention you WILL bleed out and also your family will probably find out.

As far as the pain goes cutting through the scrotum isn't really that painful, but cutting through the internal membrane is extremely painful. Cutting the testicle itself off is the most painful part, of course.

I got no security warnings about the site.

However, if you want to share a video, please provide the direct link.

This is much like saying " go to youtube.com " and you'll find it.

Is this it?

http://www.bestgore.com/sexual-disaster ... e-at-home/

Again, no security alerts, click at your risk.

I'm sure that Losethem, our resident video expert, will be able to evaluate. Thank you, LT.

Now that the formalities are over...

Welcome to the zoo.

Sorry to hear what you've been through.

I would imagine we all have, in some way or another.

Hope you're recovering well, and enjoy the forums.

Okay, I understand. Here is a link to the video within my personal dropbox, although I feel I should mention that Bestgore is a community driven, activist site. It's not some scam/adware ridden site.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/awj0dpr4rai8f ... emoved1.mp 4?dl=0

And here is the bestgore link it is of HIGHER QUALITY because dropbox compresses videos during playback.

Paolo wrote: Sun Sep 06, 2015 6:12 pm http://www.bestgore.com/sexual-disaster ... e-at-home/

Yeah, I think I found it.

I am just glad you're still alive.

I am too glad your alive. But duh? What were you thinking?

Wow...that took guts/balls to do that! I suppose you injected some numbing agent because you did not show any pain. That, at least is good, but to those others out there considering this, as you can see, there WILL be lost of bleeding so before cutting your balls of, just know you ARE going to go to the ER...and shrink.

I suppose number two is next? You should consider asking a doctor to do it, then you can get rid of the scrotum as well.

Don't worry too much about the family...they don't (usually) understand what people like us are going through but they will eventually catch up and treat you normally...it's just a shock for them at the moment.

Well, it's like I said many times here on the forums, if you TRULY WANT castration or penectomy, you WILL find a way to get it done. Desperation is a very strong motivator to achieve something.

Hope you feel better soon.

Wow, I was not prepared for this. Anyone reading/viewing please, this is certainly not the best way to do it as far as safety. Please if you absolutely must do it, research and read and get the correct equipment and supplies. I am basically blown away that dildobutt6969 was able to do this with a kitchen knife, common pair of scissors and over the counter minor pain meds. Especially without tying off the various blood vessels and nerves. Ouch. Probably should have not problem convincing a urologist of intent to remove the other.

It has been 2 weeks today since I went through with my self surgery and i'm fully healed.

If anyone is interested i've decided to post a link to a video showing how the scar has healed and what it looks like now.

Hopefully this isn't violating any rules. WARNING: This short clip contains male genitalia.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/t48pfyas8o2ic ... h.mp4?dl=0

I do fully intend to get rid of the left testicle and publish that video as well, but it will have to wait until there is a week long break in school. My self surgery set me way back in schoolwork and it was a bitch to catch up.

I will update this thread when I take care of that pesky other one.

You saw a shrink for 3 days. Didn't he/she convince the doctors it would be in your best interest to remove the left testicle as well?

I lied to the psychiatrist. I told her that I had no intention of doing it again and that it was a mistake that I regret. I wanted to be released from that mind numbingly boring facility asap.