The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen?
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:20 am
The Attic Expeditions, 2000, Seth Green & Jeffrey Combs
Apparently, these actors were hard up for work after the Austin Powers series and Deep Space Nice, respectively.
A man wakes up from a coma with no memory of the last four years, which climaxed with the murder of his wife.
He finds himself in the care of a devious psychiatrist/surgeon, if such creatures exist?
He is then sent to a halfway house, with a few other residents.
Recurring nightmares suggest there is something about the old steamer trunk in the attic?
During the first, our hero opens it, and someone pulls him in.
That's also how the film ends.
Turns out, he was a high level, black magik priest, and his wife was going to sacrifice him for some kind of ultimate power contained in a book only he could read.
The doctor finds out, and wants the book, which shows us that the house was his house, and the residents are actors who start to turn on their boss, and tell our hero what's really going on. Then the ghost of the wife shows up, telling our hero he has to die.
The best line of the movie is Seth Green telling our hero that he was committed for having cut off his own testicles with a paring knife at a young age.
If only...
Sex and violence and a cameo/soundtrack by Alice Cooper can't even save this one, folks.
It's right up there with "Monster Dog," circa 1985.
Alice needs to stay out of the movies, I think.
And the ending? Makes no sense at all. Our hero was in the trunk when he pulled himself in during the first nightmare.
Huh?!
Kick back with the Killer Tomatoes, or something that Dave has already crapped on!
Crapped on?
This one deserves a full blown enema expulsion all over it!
Apparently, these actors were hard up for work after the Austin Powers series and Deep Space Nice, respectively.
A man wakes up from a coma with no memory of the last four years, which climaxed with the murder of his wife.
He finds himself in the care of a devious psychiatrist/surgeon, if such creatures exist?
He is then sent to a halfway house, with a few other residents.
Recurring nightmares suggest there is something about the old steamer trunk in the attic?
During the first, our hero opens it, and someone pulls him in.
That's also how the film ends.
Turns out, he was a high level, black magik priest, and his wife was going to sacrifice him for some kind of ultimate power contained in a book only he could read.
The doctor finds out, and wants the book, which shows us that the house was his house, and the residents are actors who start to turn on their boss, and tell our hero what's really going on. Then the ghost of the wife shows up, telling our hero he has to die.
The best line of the movie is Seth Green telling our hero that he was committed for having cut off his own testicles with a paring knife at a young age.
If only...
Sex and violence and a cameo/soundtrack by Alice Cooper can't even save this one, folks.
It's right up there with "Monster Dog," circa 1985.
Alice needs to stay out of the movies, I think.
And the ending? Makes no sense at all. Our hero was in the trunk when he pulled himself in during the first nightmare.
Huh?!
Kick back with the Killer Tomatoes, or something that Dave has already crapped on!
Crapped on?
This one deserves a full blown enema expulsion all over it!
