Stories by Groovy Author

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Chris1115 (imported)
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Stories by Groovy Author

Post by Chris1115 (imported) »

First, I just want to thank all the authors for their contributions. I know that they have all worked hard to give us material, and I hope this post is viewed as constructive criticism.

I read "Boy Games" and, honestly, it started to give me a headache how many times the phrase "born from artificial wombs" cropped up. It was well written, but the repetitiveness tends to drone on and detract from the flow of the story. Cropping up 50+ times... well hopefully next time you can come up with a better was of relating it to the readers. =) Still... a nice story once you get your head around it! :)

The second story I read was Pablo's Experience. This one was much MUCH better in my opinion as it avoids repetitive phrases throughout the novel. I do think that the detail of the castrations via the tables could have been explored in more depth. How it felt, the after effects, etc. Obviously such an experience would be very traumatic to the individual and perhaps you could do a follow up for everyone! :)

You're showing a lot of effort with the stories, and I'm grateful for your contribution. I hope you take my feedback as constructive criticism, as I don't mean to imply that they're bad stories. I expect great promise in your future submissions. :)

Humbly,

Chris
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