I'm Umbra/Umbratotalus/whatever other abbreviations you can come up with; I'm 19 yo and have been into BDSM for most of my sexual discovery journey, some of that includes eunuchs and nullified males. I'm, dominating, or a master, or other such ways of saying "I'm not exactly likely to 'take it'". I have control/authority issues after being unable to be in control of my life for most of my short (so far) existence.
I identify as Bi-sexual, however, that is incorrect, as I am actually pan-sexual. I am attracted to all genders. I do however have a preference for Males.
I believe I have two reasons for liking males that are castrated. the first, and likely the minor of the two, is my control issues. Having a castrated male while being whole... Though, I'm not one to discriminate just 'cos you don't have balls, more so in the bed-room (or wherever the kink takes us) I'm not likely to meet resistance saying I'm the top.
The second is that from a young age I have associated perfectly hairless bodies with a lack of puberty, and thus a lack of testosterone, and thus castration. I prefer hairless over hairy, just aesthetics. It's just something I like, I also like the thought that their dicklet/cocklet/cock/dick/willy/phallus/peepee/penis or whatever you would prefer to use to refer to your own, wouldn't be darkened as it is when puberty progresses.
I have a morbid fear of losing the functionality of any part of my body, or of losing any part of my body. To that end, I would never consider castration of myself. While I would prefer if my cock wasn't so dark, and instead shared the same paleness as my pubic/pelvis region, I don't wish I had've been castrated before puberty just to attain that aesthetic. I do however wish there was a way to reverse that darkening
The closest I would get to castration would be if it was at all possible to have my testicles tucked back inside my body, without running the risk of cancer or losing function. As a small background, I feared that if my mother found out I was masturbating when I was 7 that she would take me to get Penile Inversion Surgery. While I now know that is not the case, the physical illness about it still remains.
I am squeamish about the "getting there" in regards to castration, rather I focus solely on the results and try not to dwell on how it happened. I have come extremely close to throwing up all over my computer while thinking about the cutting and stuff. This happens due to my fear of losing my own, thus I have a strong physical reaction.
Please do not take my fear for losing my own as an aversion to people who pursue castration or nullification. I support people's decisions, as long as I am not faced with the same.
I have an extensive list of things I like, but I'll save that for another time, or if I get enough people asking me to compile the list here in this thread XD
Pleasure you meet you all, and I look forward to whatever happens here
