Eunuch Gender Identity

[Questioning (imported)]

I just need to express myself to people who I think will understand.

I started fetishizing castration 7 or 8 years ago. About 2-3 years ago, I started thinking about it for real. I spent many, many days and nights chatting on EA and reading the forums. I've even dug into the scholarly research on castration by Dr. Wassersug and others. I was afraid that my reasons for desiring castration were fetishistic, and therefore, a big mistake.

And yet, the desire doesn't seem to ever go away does it? Sure, it may recede for months at a time, but it always comes roaring back.

And now, most recently, while talking to my therapist, I suddenly said "I know in my heart that this is what I want." And the more I reflect on that, the more I realize that I'm not male, that I'm a eunuch. That's my gender identity. For the first time, I feel like I can say, out loud, "I need to be castrated" and mean it.

But then, of course, there's the matter of the partner, who is afraid of losing the man he fell in love with. And there's me, terrified of losing the man I love, but at the same time knowing that castration is what I want. Can I go on living without being castrated? Yes, I suppose so, but it's with a heavy sigh. Can I choose between him and castration? That's like asking me to choose which eye I want plucked out--the left or the right.

I WOULD take HRT. I don't want to lose my ability to function sexually or face the weight gain, depression, and so forth that accompany the absence of hormones. But my partner still can't process/accept that I'd be the same person, just minus a few parts.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for, really. Commiseration I guess. Validation. Whatever anyone wants to offer. Just getting it off my chest helps.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

I didn't see where you have to choose between castration and your partner..With HRT, little will change..just more rom in the panties....Go for it Jackie

[tugon (imported)]

Your partner maybe attracted to the parts you want removed. Not everyone is attracted to an altered male. Many have also found that while they retain some functioning it is not the same as before. T is not all you will lose.

[Questioning (imported)]

I see it the same way, Jackie, but my partner doesn't. Tugon, perhaps what you articulated is what's bothering him--fear that he won't be attracted to the physical change AND fear that I won't be the same afterwards.

It's the old rock and a hard place.

[kristoff]

I see it the same way, Jackie, but my partner doesn't. Tugon, perhaps what you articulated is what's bothering him--fear that he won't be attracted to the physical change AND fear that I won't be the same afterwards.

It's the old rock and a hard place.

It isn't the same. replacement T is just not the same as the real deal. But then some of us just need to be rid of what bothers us most...

[Questioning (imported)]

It isn't the same. replacement T is just not the same as the real deal. But then some of us just need to be rid of what bothers us most...

It's interesting because I've spoken to a lot of eunuchs and some say that it's not the same, others say it is the same, still others say it's even better. YMMV I guess.

For those who see it as different/inferior, can they articulate HOW it is different or inferior?

[tugon (imported)]

I would suggest using the search function for previous threads on this topic. It is important that the information comes from someone with experience and not fantasizing.

[unencumbered (imported)]

It's interesting because I've spoken to a lot of eunuchs and some say that it's not the same, others say it is the same, still others say it's even better. YMMV I guess.

For those who see it as different/inferior, can they articulate HOW it is different or inferior?

After you lose your testicles, it is indeed different. I'm not speaking about sex per se but one's sexuality. It does not matter if one is using testosterone replacement or not. The interest in sex becomes significantly diminished.

My sexual orientation is the same. Its just that having sex is no longer a prime motivator for me. Its not that I can't have it or enjoy it or have lost any desire to please my partner sexually. It just that I can have it, or not, which one would not expect from a typical male.

When I wake every morning, one of the first things that I instinctively do is to check my empty scrotum. I guess it is the way that I subconsciously remind myself that I am a eunuch and need take good physical care of myself to avoid the negative effects of having been castrated. I am still a male but now am a eunuch too. I am not just a man without testicles; I am one whose sexual urges have been altered.

If I ever were to get into a relationship with another person who might begin to think that it could eventually lead to something romantic, I would feel obligated to tell that person fairly early in the relationship about my status. I am no longer the person who will pursue someone else for sex. Its not that I don't care about that person; its that my sexuality is no longer what one might expect of a normal male.

[Heinrich (imported)]

I wish there was a eunuch gender option because I find the whole transsexual concept unrealistic.

We all know we were born with male parts and eventually that has to come up with your partner. He might love it or hate it.

Plus when you have your penis amputated to resemble a vagina you still don't have ovaries and you have a prostate and other male parts....that's why I feel offended with this whole transsexual thing being forced on me. I have to take hormones and get a pussy they say...well no I am not taking hormones and I had an orchiectomy. I don't want a vagina nor will I get one. I am a eunuch and I love that.

No I don't think I am a woman I am a feminine biological male who needs an orchiectomy and a penectomy in order to be happy.

I wish my gender said E on all my ID's so everyone knows I am a castrated male.

[devi (imported)]

I agree. So far the list of countries with a third gender option (from what I understand include India, New Zealand, Australia with an "O" plus Argentina and Uruguay with an "X", kind of like the countries "down under". I think there must be others, maybe like South Africa, Nepal and Brazil but I'm really not so sure.