Hey all,

I finally made up my mind. I injected 300mg of Depo Provera tonight, one syringe in each buttock. I'll follow up with 150mg next week, 150 the week after that, and then 150 two weeks after that and see where I'm at. Does this sound like a reasonable regimen? If anyone has any suggestions for adjusting timing of the doses, by all means let me know. If I like it, I'll order more, if not, I'll stop. I'm hoping for this trial to last 3-6 months

This is a big step for me -- I tried CA a couple of years ago but chickened out several times, not to mention I didn't have a big enough supply to start with; that said, I was on it just long enough to start feeling the effects a little bit, and I liked it. By using Depo I'm forced to stick with it for a bit. My hope is to eliminate the vestiges of an already near-nonexistant sex drive, as well as induce impotence. Currently I have enough libido to nag me and make me feel frustrated and distracted, but not enough to allow for any sort of gratification or relief. Every time I have an erection, a little bit of me dies inside. It makes it hard to cuddle because of the possibility of an erection. I'm looking to anxiety-free cuddles ...

I'm also setting out to discover whether or not the dysphoria I experience is hormonal or purely physical. If it's not hormonal, at least I'll experience something not a whole lot of guys get to .. and if it does indeed help me, then I can continue for a while. Regardless, it will make tucking a lot easier. (any other guys here tuck regularly to look like a nullo?)

Being a chemical eunuch at 21 in college is going to be an experience. Luckily I have some very close friends in the trans* community who are very supportive. Being genderqueer is complicated ...

Anyway, wish me luck. Setting out to lower my already very low T. Thanks to those who have already helped me make an informed decision.

-- J.

Hi,

Sorry for the long delay in answering, but I never received the friend request and accidentally discovered it now.

I congratulate you on the chemical castration. I know it was a bold step for me when I did it 7 years ago, but I have no regrets. You will find that when the sex drive is lowered or non-existant, your life will be more fulfilled. I don't recommend physical castration as that is permanent.

Let me know how you are doing.

Ron

Almost 3 week update:

At the advice of some forum members, I took it a little easy, so I didn't inject again until today. Midway through the second week I felt my erections get softer and my fetish urges started to clear. This continued (yay!) until Friday or Saturday when I began to get hard erections and urges again. Were the effects really wearing off so soon? Was I imagining things? I really did have a weeklong period of relative calm and sexless existence, which ended abruptly on Friday. Looking forward to getting it back.

Also, testicles smaller, harder, and less sensitive. At one point my penis began to retract into me a bit. Awesome.

I don't think I really want to descend to castrate levels -- depending on how long this dose of depo lasts I may even just inject once a month. The first few days after the initial double shot were a bit rough (nausea, headaches, fatigue) but that all wore off, aside from physical activity being a bit more work. I want to strike a balance of retaining some T, easily being able to maintain a healthy weight and energy levels, but low enough to drastically reduce erections, cause my testes to shrink, and give me that calm that I love.

As an aside, found a fantastic write-up by a MAAB genderqueer on reddit about non-feminizing hrt. Their routine is Androcur with Raloxifene; which has yielded them favorable results so far (maintain bone density, zero breast development, subtle feminization). Here's the link:

http://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/com ... st_growth/

Cheers!