You are truly a stalwart... in lean times, you always seem to come through in the crunch!

Zipper's comin' Down

_________

If only Zipper went on The Price Is Right

I'd pay to hear the announcer yell

"Zipper! Come on down!!"

And watch the entire audience

Strip, en masse

It'd be chaos

Writ large and splattered

Onto the glass teats

Of America

Bob Barker woulda' known how to handle it

Dry hump a few female contestant's asses

Before commanding order in the soundstage

Drew Carey would just pee his pants and blither

But you don't have to travel to that show

You write for us

Splattering our own screens

With your words

I'm glad you are here