I never really thought about castration until the summer I turned fourteen.

Dad worked on the Interstate highway construction boom, so we moved a lot, and the year I turned fourteen we moved into a house next to a farm.

The farmer had three sons: big and burley seventeen and eighteen year old John and Tom were standoffish towards me and gave their eleven year old brother Richard a lot of crap, but I kind of liked the little guy. He showed me all his favorite places, including the pond where they sometimes swam. He could go there any time he wanted but he couldn’t get in the water unless someone else was with him. It was hot that day, so he shed his clothes and waded in, just like he did with his brothers, and after some cajoling I joined him. We splashed around for a while and got out to dry.

He was still a prepubescent kid but I was a fully feathered Man, sort of, anyway, and he had some Man questions he wasn’t comfortable asking his dad or brothers. I told him what little I knew and just talking about it gave me a boner, and that inspired him to ask about masturbation. He’d heard his brothers talking about beating off and he knew it had something to do with sex but didn’t know what, so I gave a demonstration by tossing one off into the grass.

He must have professed some of his new education to his brothers, because the next time we went to the pond they followed us. They had the elastrator tool used to castrate calves with them and they held me down while Richard, threatened with a beating, put the band on my nutsack. I couldn’t get it off with my fingers and in the fifteen minutes it took to get home and find the nail trimmers my balls had turned dark red and were getting cold and hurt like a bitch and I was sure I’d been castrated.

Later that year some other kids joked about turning each other into steers. I laughed along with them, not willing to talk about the near miss that had scared the shit out of me.

We moved again in two years, and for the first time ever I was glad to be changing schools.

I was aware of it at 14. During a sort of joke between boys like the one of the kids you saw.

I never even thought about it until I was near 45 or 50 y/o

I've read that story somewhere before.

I can't recall when I first became aware of it, but I know I started to become interested in it when I was 16.

I can remember wanting to have my "junk" gone at age four. I didn't know about castration as a means until I was about 10. On the farm no less.

I remember wanting them gone at about age 8. I didn't know what castration was until about age 10 when I saw bull calves getting cut on my grandparents' farm. If I had been offered castration then I would have gotten right in line with bulls. When I hit puberty a couple years later, castration became erotic and I began focusing on it more and more. This desire has only gotten stronger over the years, and the balls still don't feel like they belong. Castration almost feels like an internal calling of sorts.

For me I was always aware of the idea of not having testicles. Having been born with undescended ones that remained that way til I was 16 , I grew quite comfortable with the body I was given. I even sometimes felt pity on other biys i saw who were developing a pair of low hangers. I was grateful that i didn't have these particular appendages.

When they did appear , that created a serious mental trauma for me, and I only wanted them gone, and to be back to who/what I was before. That sadly was not to be at that point, but thankfully they returned to the inguinal canals when I was around 24 never to be seen hanging again. Some people don't get it , but once I was truly and fully aware that a "real" eunuch did not have testicles and that castration was the means to reach that state nothing but actually getting rid of them would be enough. They caused me many years of pain and discomfort physically , and all the while I was infertile and totally dependant on testosterone supplements.

As many here know well, getting the medical community to remove even non-functional and or dieseased testicles is a challenge. Male urologists cringe at the idea, and until fairly recently female urologists were few and far between. Finding a skilled non-medical person who you would have faith in doing the job properly is even more of a challenge.

Finally succeeding with a medical professional doing the job presented a great relief to me. Even with them long not visible, just knowing that they were lurking in there made me very uneasy. I felt deformed. My mind is set up to be a non-binary gender and my body did not match it. Now that I am a eunuch , I feel complete, odd I know since to get that feeling something was removed.

There are many who try to label individuals like me, but i don't particularly subscribe to any of them.

Raymar

Not so easy to say. Raised on a farm, I must have been aware of castrated animals, inc the cat but felt the practice an unwelcome but for some animals a necessary part of farming. -Not something you'd wish on anyone.

Later in adult life, medical troubles caused the loss of one and then the other testicle and a feeling of important loss. The replacement T initially worked well to maintain some sense of functional "normality", until a visit to China found me with inactive Japanese depot T. The changes took a few weeks to develop, complete with flashes and all. That's when I first felt how it is to be a t-less eunuch. Another period of adjustment followed and soon it became a welcome change. Since then, i've actually come to enjoy ending up as a eunuch. I feel able to regulate where I wish to be on the M <-> E range, and life is good.

I remember seeing pigs castrated. Being held against their will as their balls were removed. Crying out, then balless put down and watching other pigs eat the ballls. I left with an immense hard on