I am turning to this community for answers and help, my long term boyfriend has been coming onto this site several times a week for longer than we've been together,

when I found out I was, admittedly, scared and upset, but when I tried to talk to him about it he shut down, he refuses to talk to me or explain what his needs and wants

are and I simply dont understand.so I turn to you to help explain the fascination with castration and why any man would want to do that to do that to him self so that I can

be a better girlfriend and help make him more comfortable with his thoughts, because he obviously isn't now. I just want to be understanding, instead of freaking out like my immediate reaction is, I don't want to freak out, but I simply don't understand.

Greetings

I can only sympathise with your position right now. The problem is, we all have vastly different reasons for castration, not ONE of them is identical to another, much like other things in life.

All you can do is be there for him and let him know you are there to listen. He may have been a bit thrown off when you first found out, but this should pass and communication should become easier.

Remember though, from what you've said, he was looking on this site before you were in a relationship with him, therefore, it is HIS issue. That is NOT to say you shouldn't be supportive and not care but that he has to work through this himself if he so chooses to do so.

I hope this has aided you somewhat.

Best Wishes to you and your boyfriend

Remember that not everyone who comes to this site actually is or wants to be castrated. Some are or want to be with castrated people, or fantasize about being castrated, being with castrated people, or castrating people. It's a huge mix.

If it would help you understand. He might not know what his fascination is himself.

thoughts enter my mind:

How long term has the relationship been.

Are you OK with that? What do you want out of it? Just a long term relationship or more?

Are you 2 sexually active,

is one of you in love with the other or just why are you together? Financial reasons?

Could your boyfriend be gay and does not want to admit it to himself, or to you, or the world, and is using the relationship as a "see I'm not gay, I've got a girlfriend".

Some men just fantasize about castration.

Others have an internal need that is very deep, complex, and unyielding.

Even the person who has the need does not ultimately understand why. It just IS.

Maybe before delving into him not being

nomenclature (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:56 am comfortable with his thoughts,

him maybe feeling VERY uncomfortable with you finding out (and maybe how it was you found out), and before you making assumptions about why your boyfriend visits the EA site.........maybe take a long hard look at your relationship with him and determine if it is going in the direction you want it to go in, if you feel you can stick by his side no matter what, or that maybe the road ahead may be too rocky and lead to nowhere.

The dilemma is that, breaking up is hard to do. Staying together can sometimes be harder.

Maybe the easiest way to do this is just come out and communicate with your boyfriend.

Is he committed to you. What does he want from the relationship. Where does he want it to head.

From my perspective, I never "wanted" castration, I "NEEDED" it. I still don't know why. It just was as important as needing water, air, food.

So, if ME, MYSELF, and I still doesn't understand it, you might just possibly spend a lifetime and never understand it either.

2. How did you find out that he was visiting the EA web site? Something you stumbled upon by accident, or you were on the prowl to see what he is up to.

First of all, thanks to everyone for the replies.

second, we have been together for almost two years and are well on our way to getting married, we are just waiting for our living arrangements to be better, we want to buy a house before we tell everyone, but he already asked me to marry him and given me the most beautiful ring. I have never met anyone I was so compatible with, I adore him and as far as I knew he feels the same. He says he loves me and we have a very healthy sex life, once or twice a day for the entire length of our relationship, and he has always been interested in sex and initiates it about half the time. I found that he went on EA quite by accident, I had borrowed his computer to check our bank account at wells fargo and hit the E key on accident and it came up in the history. when I asked he said he'd been going on this siite for a while, a few times a week, he says he is extremely embarrassed that I found out, that he doesn't remember how it started and that he has no idea why he is so fascinated by it, only that he is and he hates that he is. I have no desire to leave him, especially over something so trivial as a fascination he says he has no urge to act on but I still, just...don't understand it.

I do not think most of us on this site can completely explain why we are fascinated with it. I would guess that it is a mostly harmless fantasy for him. As long as he is open with you about it I do not see it as a problem between you. The only issue raised in my mind is that he "hates" his interest in it. It is possible that he feels that way because can not explain it to himself without thinking of some possibilities that are not socially acceptable. If he were to register here and ask us we might be able to ease some of his anxiety. --FLO--

Having read a number of members' profiles here, I know that there are s LOT of guys here who have no desire to actually be castrated. They just find the idea of losing genitals exciting, or they find it terrifying and they're trying to deal with that fear. The roots of their interest probably go back to early childhood. People who go to movies about axe murders aren't necessarily contemplating murder or being murdered. It's just exciting to watch, and there's a good chance that's all EA is for him. He may not even fantasize about it let alone desire it.

As for why he'd find EA interesting, my hubby has theories about his own fantasies, but I don't believe he really knows the whole story. We know it goes back at least as far as grade school. I suspect that that is typical of those who do fantasize about castration: They don't really know why. People have quirks. That's one of his. It's a big deal only if you make it a big deal.

Your profile says you're interested in female superiority and dominance. You might ask whether there are any sex games he'd enjoy with a mock castration theme. It might be something you'd both have fun with. If he knows you're open to such things, he might feel freer to really open up to you about his feelings on a variety of subjects, not just sexual things.

On my first date with my hubby, he asked me to kick his testicles. He said he made that request on first dates in general, because if a girl was put off by that, he knew he couldn't open up to her about sex. When he asked, I told him I only kick guys when they're tied up and naked. I'm not sure why I said that--probably just to show him he couldn't shock me, I suppose--but later when I was at his place, he had ropes ready and called my bluff. At that point, I said to my self, "This guy is going to be a heck of a lot of fun." We'll be celebrating 22 years of marriage in August, and we're still in love. Tim really does have a fantasy of having women chop his penis off, but he still has it, and we have a very active and satisfying sex life.

If you're having a good sex life and he's interested in marrying you, I would say don't let his interest in this site deter you, but if you can't deal with his having unconventional interests, it's better to find out about that now than after you're married.

Sandi

It is so common for men to have a whole range of sexual interests. It is rather common than exception. May be he should learn more about male sexuality, so he could be more comfortable and so can you. despite having many different interests most of them usually never lead to any real life action. It is an embarrasment for him, I can understand him as he wishes to be good and honest. And I have been basically through similar situation. And it could be that you could even use his interests while you are having sex for example. he could be satisfied even more and he will be more thankful to you and may be he would try to return the favor and the bond between you and him would even get stronger.

Happy exploring!