My journey into chemical castration began in March of 2012. I went to the urologist and found out that I had BPH. He proscribed me Rapaflo and I took it until September of 2012. I convinced the doctor that I wanted 5mg of Proscar instead of the Rapaflo. I explained that I did not like the retrograde ejaculation that it caused. Even though I was supposed to stop the Rapaflo when I started the Proscar in June of 2012, I continued taking it for three more months. At the same time, I was reading about how I could chemically castrate myself by ordering other hormones online. I found the inhouse pharmacy in February of 2012. I made my first order of Androcur in March of 2012. I have took 100 mg per day from March through July of 2012. In July of 2012 I ordered injectable Depo Provera. I injected myself with 2 150ml shots On August 3. This was 4 days before my wedding aniversary. I followed up with 4 additional shots over the next 2 months. I stopped taking the Depo Provera in October 2012

I ordered Estrofem in September of 2012 and started taking 4 mg per day in October 2012. When my breasts got tender after about a month, I stopped taking the Estrofem and started another course of Androcur in November of 2012. In Mid December I received another 5 doses of Depo. I took 2 on the 15th of December and one on the 24th of December and also on the 31st of December. I took another dose of Depo two days ago. I also started Estrogen again on New Years Day. Now that you have my history to the present, I would like to tell you what the journey has been like up to this point.

The Rapaflo really got to me when I could't orgasm. I didn't expect it and my fantasy of chemical castration became real when I ordered Androcur online to take away my testosterone like my orgasms had already been taken. It really made me horny and I wanted to jerk off every day as I thought of chemically getting rid of my nuts. My previous journies into castration involved the elastrator. The thought of being castrated really turned me on and still does. I really noticed a real impact on my sex life when I started Proscar in June. It was such a powerful feeling that I felt compelled to make the castration more complete with Depo.

I was trembling the first time I injected myself with two shots of Depo. Unlike a pill or a series of pills, Depo shots would keep working for months after the injection. I knew as I injected my first two doses that I was going down a path that would bring me closer to chemical castration than I had ever been. I really noticed the reality of the shots about a week later. My libido was way down to almost nothing and I couldn't even get the hint of a hard on even in the morning. Two weeks later I took another shot. As I combined the Proscar with the Depo my testosterone level and my DHT level dropped by a lot. I was feeling a real chemical castration. I wondered and wonder as I write this whether or not I will ever be able to revocer from this chemical cocktail of castration drugs. I will keep you informed of my journey and my feelings. Please let me know your thoughts and insights.

One of the results of my chemical castration process has been a noticible shrinkage of my penis and my testicles. My penis used to be 5.5 inches and has lost almost 2 inches in a year. My balls have really gotten smaller. They used to be the stars of my package. Now they try to hide up inside my body like never before. My tits have gotten bigger and it is noticable that they exist and are growing.

ballsontheline (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 11, 2013 5:05 pm One of the results of my chemical castration process has been a noticible shrinkage of my penis and my testicles. My penis used to be 5.5 inches and has lost almost 2 inches in a year. My balls have really gotten smaller. They used to be the stars of my package. Now they try to hide up inside my body like never before. My tits have gotten bigger and it is noticable that they exist and are growing.

Thanks for recording your journey into chemical castration. It was interesting to read!

I started this chemical castration journey without telling my wife. I was able to use the BPH and my visits to the urologist to mask the clear side effects of all of the castration drugs I was taking. When I went on Proscar, my wife knew the reality of the side effects and she researched the impact of the drug on my male parts and libido. In October my wife found the estrogen pills and the Depo Provera. She confronted me with them and I admitted that I was trying to reduce my sex drive for her. I told her that I would stop both drugs but restarted as noted above. With each dose of the castration drugs my ability to use my dick for anything but urinating is reduced. I know that I will reach a point in time when all of these castration drugs will do permanent damage to my manhood. I will have to take the Proscar for the rest of my life for the BPH even if I stop all of the other drugs. In March, I will decide if I want to go forward with surgical castration. Since the drugs reduce my libido, my willingness to go forward with the removal of my balls has become a real option.

My wife loved my chest hair. Over the course of the last year my body hair has been steadily disappearing. I have sparse armpit hair, my chest hair is hard to see and the hairs on my legs are not manly like they once were. My facial hair has gotten softer and doesn't grow as fast. The elimination of testosterone has happened with Androcur, and Depo. DHT has almost been eliminated by Proscar. The estrogen pills have really increased my estrogen level and it is obvjous. Not only do I have growing bitch tits, the shrinkage of my male parts is very noticable to my wife. I can't satisfy her because I am chemically castrated.

Yours is an interesting journey, but it's a journey that thousands have taken and will take. My castration desire possessed me and I couldn't shake it, I had to be castrated and was. Now, over the course of about seven years, my penis has shrunk to prepubescent size, I have few erections and none happen without a lot of work, few sexual thoughts, breast growth, and weight gain. These changes are indicative of castration. You've become a eunuch, even though you still have your testicles. Also, feminization seems to be taking its toll upon you, which is a good thing, if that's what you want or wanted. Castration naturally leads one to become more feminine in appearance and in my own case, leads one to reject his maleness or male parts the further the effects of estrogen take hold. As estrogen takes over as the dominant hormone in your body, it changes your brain chemistry into accepting the feminine changes and rejecting your maleness more permanently. Most surgically castrated eunuchs reach a level of uniqueness, somewhere between male and female, however in your case, by adding estrogen you're pushing yourself to the more feminine side. It'll be interesting to see where you'll end up. Will the addition of Estrofem push you to become a woman in dress, along with surgical alteration of your genitals? I guess the answer is, "Time will tell."

P.S. Your shrinkage is noticeable to your wife and you can't satisfy her. Does this frustrate you? Do you want to satisfy her or do you enjoy the inability to satisfy her more? Is this causing a big problem in your relationship with your wife?

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Hash (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:24 am Your shrinkage is noticeable to your wife and you can't satisfy her. Does this frustrate you? Do you want to satisfy her or do you enjoy the inability to satisfy her more? Is this causing a big problem in your relationship with your wife?

For me, the last two times that my wife asked for sex, now some time ago, I was unable to sustain an erection hard and long enough to try to satisfy her. Since she is aware of my surgery, its affect on my sexuality and her ambivalence for sex in the first place, the fact that I wasn't able cooperate didn't bother her. For me, I struggled a bit to get it up but I couldn't. It really didn't bother me since I really wasn't interested anyway.

Hash,

Thanks for your reply, your insights and your question. I have to admit that I am seriously frustrated by my shrinking penis. I know that I am not satisfying my wife like she needs to be satisfied. As I take the hormones, my desire for sex has almost been eliminated. My small penis, ED, and low desire have made our sex lives a challenge to say the least. My wife is not happy and wants me to have sex more often than I want it or need it. I can only get some release with prostate stimulation. My wife has also noticed my bitch tits. I am becoming less and less of a man every day.