Subject: The Top 13 Things You Won't Hear At The Daytona 500

"'None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your

teeth."'

"'Tampax! Get cha Tampax here!"'

"'Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."'

"'Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."'

"'My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"'

"'Hey, you with the large breasts -- out of the way! We're

trying to watch a race here!"'

"'Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street

Journal from my attaché case, then fetch me some clotted

cream for my scone."'

"'What a coincidence, Hank -- all my friends are boycotting

Hooters, too!"'

"'These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel

Richie concert!"'

"'Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand

you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."'

"'Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."'

"'Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt today is

substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."'

"'...and now, singing our national anthem -- international

recording artist Boy George!"'

Andrew, these are funny, almost as good as redneck jokes, but same crowd. :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

Just goes to show, you gotta drive a Dodge!

:p :tongueout :p