I have been looking around most of this sides, and i feel its a great spot to be and find your self.

I have talked to 1-2 people about my one dark spots, anger,demon beast or what ever you call it.

What suprise me, is that most of the stories in archive, and debates/forum stuff. is plainly about the castration/nullo. and the desire around it.

I sort of whant more about whats behind it, Is it just a desire?(i find that stranges)

Is it out of a need to be different?

If so why?

If its about reason of canser/detroyed tecticles, if so! what do that make you feel? (for my self it make me angry, and doings stupid crap)

If you whant to castrate some one beside your self! Is that just desire? (or is it the power/changes to hurt someone, be in total controle)?

And if so, what do it do for you?

I will be happy. If the truth about mine and other peoples inner self, is forwarded, So we can help one another! regardless how!

My chats with 1 person spesialy, have shown me, that my rage-desire-whants, isnt just because of castration related things. But as much of not whanted to deal with my dark side!

It show tru my actions. Tru how i disregard my self. and how i hurt other`s bye, being not in tuch with who i am!

And the fact that i know, i aint alone(as i talked to 2 others with simulare things here) Make me thing that, Why not find out why we do not hold our self as a hole. But just the part we whant people to see!

So what is behind your reason for whanting information/castration/nullification/or inflicting it?

And are you, Trully surten that your whants is you, or just a small part of who you are?

If so, why not adress it, and find your tru self. Regardless if its good or bad!

My demon i am starting to fase, And its hard but rewarding, And i belive that, if other then me is stugeling with simulare probs.

Why not find the essence of it. and then make your self hole. Regardless of how we/i/you do it!!!

Thats what i whanted to say. and hope i aint in a large minoraty, in this quest.

Best regards.

A lot of folks I've talked to about castration fantasy share a common source. Most are incredibly intelligent people whose sexuality developed later than their intellect. They were smart kids, and might have been delayed sexually.

Most have seen their own sexuality as disruptive to how they see themselves. I think the "Eunuch Calm" they speak of trying to achieve is akin to being more childlike in their life. Where sex is something "other", and their life can move on without a distraction they see as alien. If only they can be parted with the part of them that those sexual feelings come from, they will again be themselves.

A lot of people talk about a desire to get an out of control sex drive, either out of their life, or under control. They feel they need castration in order to take control of themselves. Once again, it is like the sexual drives are something that comes from outside their vision of themselves.

There are other folk too.

It is about power and masculinity. Some people fantasize not about being cut, but about doing the cutting. For those folk it is about being in control. It is about having an ability or power the other person does not. Somehow their masculinity or sexuality is empowered by diminishing another person's sexuality.

Some people seek frustration as their goal. For those folks, being sexually frustrated is more enjoyable than a sexual release.

The truth is, there are as many reasons for desiring castration as there are members on this forum. It comes from different places, and at different times in our lives. It takes hold of us each in a unique way.

I was always shocked by the more overtly sexual stories on the archive (even my own when I wrote them). I think in writing these stories, the author is trying to experiment with their own desire. Push it to an extreme, and see how they feel.

In almost all of the stories I have read, it is about CONTROL. Either control over another person, or control over one's self. It is about remaking a human being into something useful to someone else. Whether you desire to remake yourself, or remake the people around you, it remains about control.

In a lot of stories, castration is a punishment for crimes real or imagined. Often in stories, someone makes a simple mistake, and that mistake leads either fairly or unfairly to their sexual demise. In that case, the punishment does not seem to fit the crime. The punishment is almost always far in excess of the crime. Those stories tend to resonate with me, because I sometimes feel robbed of my sexuality. I feel as though I was unfairly punished for a crime I didn't commit. I was singled out to be different, and that whatever crime I committed, I didn't deserve THIS as my fate.

I think a lot of people have a demon inside themselves, as both you and I do. There is a part of themselves that they feel is out of control. For me, it was like an untrained guard dog. It was as likely to bite me, as it was to bite those people around me. I eventually had to realize that the guard dog, was just trying to protect me. As it was MY dog, it merely needed direction. I had never tried to direct it, I had only tried to chain it, or hide it. Only when I tried to make friends with it, did I realize it was a power I could use.

I direct my anger now into my writing. It is a place I can give it something to chew on, and tear to shreds. It is a much happier guard dog now. I haven't so much tamed it, as befriended it. In befriending my anger, it no longer attacks when it shouldn't.

I've talked with psychologists, and I've read all kinds of things on self-help and all that Bull Sh*t. They always talk of controlling yourself, and getting your anger under control. Things like counting backward from ten, until you are calm. For me, doing that only made the anger worse. If it didn't get out, it only got angrier. Punching a pillow didn't help. The anger knew that a pillow wasn't what it wanted to destroy. I had to accept my anger and realize it was my own self defense mechanism. It was there to protect me, and by fighting it, it was destroying me. It could not be tamed, that was not its purpose. I had to let my anger out at those things that deserved it. I had to recognize that my anger was valuable, and did not diminish me because I had it.

I have never read that in a self help book. I don't think psychologists are equipped to tell their patients that anger and rage can be a good thing, and should be embraced. They see someone struggling with anger as that person having a condition that needs to be cured, not as a whole person who needs to understand. It sounds like something Darth Vader would say in Star Wars. "Embrace your anger, and it will only make you stronger." But it does make you stronger to embrace it. It will make you healthier too.

One of the big purposes of the Eunuch Archive is to get people to embrace their fantasy. A fantasy life of castration can be a healthy thing, especially if you embrace it as a fantasy. The more you embrace it, the more you come to understand it. The better off you will be, and the less likely you will do something in reality you might come to regret. We don't want people who are fighting with their fantasy, and not able to tell the line between a thrill in their mind, and a surgical procedure in real life with consequences that will be life long.

The worst thing for me to learn about is that someone who was struggling with their fantasy, has gone the extra step, and made it a reality. Once it is real, they regret it. It is a horrible thing to happen, and we want to prevent it. So we encourage people to embrace the fantasy for what it is. They can enjoy it without guilt, and still be a whole and healthy person.

The other thing we want to do, is for people like you, who are facing a very real castration for very real medical reasons. We want you to know that you are not alone, and if you do lose your testicles it will not make you any less of a man. You will be just as strong, just as much of a leader, and just as masculine as you want to be. You lose none of the value you hold now. You will remain as the man you are, and we will be with you through every step if you choose us to be.

I cannot tell you for sure what everyone wants from this site, but those are the things I think are most important. Understanding yourself is FAR more important that what is or is not between your legs.

I'd love to hear what others have to say about it.

Where does your desire come from, and how do you deal with it?

I definitely aim to be more childlike in nature, and to acheive more of a free happiness that perhaps only a child has 100% access too, though I am not so sure now that chemical castration is a requirement to achieving this (or if not to fully achieving it, then to at least improving it). I think I have become more childlike and generally happy in the past 30 months, nothing to do with CC. A lot of people's affiliation with EA related matters and desires does come from sexual frustration; as in, we have this constantly loaded gun, but few seem to want us to pull the trigger. We could write up an EA constitution, along the lines of being anti "the right to bare arms"

Being in self control is definitely a major aspect of all this. Well, Cainanite has touched on many good points really. I agree very much with the personal writing being a wonderful source of therapy too.

"

Cainanite (imported) wrote: Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:43 pm Understanding yourself is FAR more important that what is or is not between your legs.

" Love it.

This is a very good explanation!

Maybe its also that some have desire for great sex/orgasm but relaity doesnt match it. Then they rather not have the frustration of being dissapointed. Just a thought.

Marie

Study Freudian Psychology for more answers about castration complexes...

Thanks for feedback all of you.

For my one part, It has nothing to do with, whanting to be more child like, Or even go back to a time where i was more inocent.

My life have been a stranges world.

I have had 2-3 opperations to try geting my tecticles down to my sack. But the cords so tight it just drag thhem back inside.

I feel less "real man" as i dont have body hair. I have no vicual balls, I avoid showers in public. like swimminbools.

I have been bullied about my lack of balls. and not needeing to shave more then every secound week,

I have reacted bye avoiding people(more or less) Lots of fighting, Doing idiotic things.

my doc(all i been at) whant me to get a castration(from age 16) as the heat inside ruin the sperm, and growth of danger of canser. I am confuced, as i am a man, in regards of muchels, intr, way of behaving.

but when it come to sexual stuff, i avoid girls, as i do not have anything to offer(kids) and i never understood why so many guys get horny when they see my emphty sack.

I feel angry that i am who i am.

i been hurting people. destroyed people. worked in the force, so i didnt need to adress my prob. people have called me hard(i aint) Emotionel detached.(at a level tru).

i have never been in love, never desired anything, And feel like i have a life with out a reason, now that i cant work in the army anymore.

I taken all my anger out in others, i have few idees on why really. Beside being respected. And i never have trully embraced my "demons" Now i am. And i just whant to find out what can be done. For all. Also people that are well in tuch with who they are. And people that just like me have no clue.

What i trully will like, is to get a thread where we all can, get changes to give one another input/informations. and maby even fnd a path, that will work to clear our minds. and make us calm, and understanding about our self and others.

Do i am trully heppy, that so many have read this thread, and for you that have gived feedback also.

I trasure it more then you all will ever know.

I will continue writting. and see how far it will bring me. to see what i can offer to others(sexualy) Finding who i am. And in a perfect world. e able to trully be my self, with all of me.

Regardless if i agree to castration or not.

Thanks to you all.

mariemm2 (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:27 am This is a very good explanation!

Maybe its also that some have desire for great sex/orgasm but relaity doesnt match it. Then they rather not have the frustration of being dissapointed. Just a thought.

Marie

Maybe, though maybe not. My last girlfriend wasn't particularly sexual; we didn't go off like rockets when having sex. Nevertheless I couldn't have cared less. I was just so in love with her and delighted to hold her....the sex really didn't matter. My girlfriend prior to that, well; we were absolute sexual animals together lol. But I agree with you Marie that if you are a guy who has no physical potential to really get a woman off sexually, then there is really no point to that guy having his sex drive (they would have to REALLY love masturbation lol). My two cents.