Hello Everyone,

I wanted to drop a line and introduce myself. My partner, after many years of exploring eunuch as a fantasy, has recently come to view this as the most accurate expression of his gender identity and would like to take steps toward transitioning towards eunuch.

To be perfectly honest, this was hard to hear when he first disclosed it to me. Change is scary, especially when it occurs in the relationships that are the most precious to us. I've had time to sit with it though, and since calming down about it I've come to see how many ways this is congruent with who I know him to be and am moving forward from a place of excitement and discovery--admittedly with a few concerns still alive tagging along.

I'm fairly well versed in more mainstream trans issues--I'm a trans man myself and my community is populated largely by trans folks of many stripes, from us cut-and-dried transsexuals to more ambiguous genderqueer types--but eunuch as a specific identity is new to me. I'm on the site looking to read, learn and understand as much as I can. I would especially like to hear from other significant others who have seen a partner through this kind of transition.

So thank you in advance for the information, I'm looking forward to reading your posts and getting to know this community better.

Cole

I am a SO, in the sense of being married for more than 35 years; my wife is not ready to join here as a SO. That leaves me as the one of the two of us who is willing to offer comment.

First of all, welcome! I hope you will find being here helpful.

To me, eunuch is not a specific gender identity, because XY chromosome folks who part company with testicles do so for a diverse assortment of reasons; eunuch as a gender identity is, as I observe, no less diverse in its ways than is any other simply-labeled gender identity.

To illustrate, if I may... For a number of years, I was a member of the Chicago Gender Society, and went to meetings fairly often. One day, another member who had become a good friend asked me, "Why don't you cross-dress?" To which I responded, "What makes you think I am not cross-dressed now?"

I do have a few clothing items, mostly from "rummage sales" (or "tag sales" in some eastern states?) which have the buttons, zippers, and such on the girly side, but they are not obviously more feminine than masculine at a casual glance. If it fits and it is cheap, I am willing to buy and wear it. Usually, people will tend to read me as though male.

I came upon a story some years ago, about cooking meat, in which pork could be prepared as mock fish, and fish could be prepared as mock pork. And mock pork could be prepared as mock fish, or mock fish as mock pork. My innermost sense of identity is more akin to social norms for feminine than masculine. So, when I dress in typically male attire, I am always cross-dressed.

For me, the purpose of life is learning to thrive as oneself. Thriving is, to me, being able to be true self, in ways that are actually experienced as being both decent and satisfying.

If I am not thriving, I don't know it.

Again, welcome!

Brasstax,

Welcome, and I sincerely hope that you find what you are seeking here. The transition into euuch can be a very trying time for both the eunuch to be , and anyone they are closely involved with. It is an unsuaul journey, since for so much of society , the idea of giving up "maleness" is such a foreign concept. It is not a step to be taken lightly or frivelously.

Your SO is very lucky to have someone who is not only understanding, but accepting, and who is willing to seek answers on their own, to fully comprehend the situation. As I see see it for you as a transman, and with your desires to attain what is male, it must be doubly hard to wrap your head around your SO seeking to remove such a vital part of that maleness. Congrats on being willing to be there to be supportive.

You will find that those who frequent this board are caring, loving and supportive. They will answer your questions, try to allay any fears you may have, and can offer very wise counsel as your SO begins this journey of transformation.

I personally have found that more than a few transpeople have a real problem understanding the desire to be NOT of a binary gender. To many I have talked with the idea of being a eunuch is just not something they "get".

My own journey took many years, and was not easy . I have seen highs and lows, and dealt with people who were so nonplussed by my desires that they simply ran away. Know that for both you and your SO, you have found a place of friendship understanding and support. Again, Welcome.

Raymar