Well, it's been a little over six weeks now since my castration, so I guess I owe the group an update. I'm not going to dwell on the events of the evening and the morning -- I think that's been gone over quite enough in two separate threads.

I had first thought of being castrated about the time I entered puberty; I suppose because I had (at least) mixed emotions about sex and the process of puberty. I put the thoughts out of my mind for many years until I read a fantasy description of a castration in one of Nancy Friday's books around 1980. After that the idea of castration kept coming back into my mind more and more, and when I first got on the Internet in 1996 one of the first things I did was to find the old alt.eunuchs.questions newsgroup (back when it had some useful traffic). From then on I joined every castration group I could find, and when I found the EA (when was it? A while ago is all I can remember) I knew this was where I belonged.

In the midst of all of this, I was diagnosed with HIV almost nine years ago, and I suspect this had something to do with my increasing desire to be castrated. It is tough to find guys to fool around with when you're poz (I know, I know, there are plenty of things to do, but once you mention the big H, the vast majority of guys will shy away), and that caused increasing frustration. So, in April or May of this year I decided this was the time to get it done.

Now, skipping ahead a bit (I said I wasn't going to dwell on the actual event), I spent two days in the hospital after a urologist repaired the damage, then took three more days off from work to rest up, with ten days' worth of Cipro and Vicodin to take along with my other meds (sigh...). By the way, Vicodin is one fine analgesic Not quite as good as Tylenol and codeine, or 222's, which are aspirin and codeine available OTC in Canada (question to the Canadians out there -- are 222's still around?), but still damned good.

The incisions took their own good time to heal, but that's taken care of now, and my scrotum has shrunk quite a bit. I think it's kind of cute now I haven't had a real erection since the day before the castration, and that's just fine. When I read a truly erotic story ("HP and the Knife of Klingsor" comes to mind) I can feel the start of a hardon, but that's as far as it's gone. I suppose one of these nights (I just printed out Part 7 for tonight's reading) I might see if I can get myself hard again. The amazing thing is I really don't miss it at all. I still admire cute guys I see, but the difference now is I don't feel this compulsion to jump their bones. It's hard to describe to someone what it's like without a sex drive. I lived with it for 34 years, but now that it's gone away it's almost like it never existed.

I think I've started to experience the calmness so many others have talked about. I do notice it takes a lot more than before to get me upset at work, and I don't get excited when rush-hour traffic is heavier than usual (don't get me wrong -- I still complain about it, it just doesn't get me too upset anymore). I'm looking forward to seeing what develops on that front.

As an interim measure until I see my PCP in December for my regular semi-annual HIV check-up, I've been taking Calcium/Vitamin D pills and munching on Tums to supplement my Calcium intake. When I do see the doctor I'll suggest a bone density test and see where we go from there.

Looking back on it now, would I do it again? You bet I would I feel a lot better as a eunuch than I did as a man. Now that things have healed, I feel better than 100%. I would of course have an emergency plan agreed beforehand, along with a cover story (hopefully good enough not to get me committed ) to keep the cutter out of trouble.

Well, that's it for tonight. Any comments gratefully accepted and all questions cheerfully answered.

Don,

I am glad you are getting along so well, we were all concerned with the events of 2 months ago and I think it has changed some minds at least to use a Doctor for the castration. I know that many cannot afford the Doctors at there current prices.

I am most of all glad that its everything you thought it was and more as you will come to fine out, I am chemically castrated and have been enjoying life as a eunuch for months. Its hard to explain to people what its like, you understand, its being in control for the first time in your life. Oh btw, I will be going to see Drs Spector and Kimmel on Sept 6th for my surgery, having both the balls and sac removed. I am also taking a mutual friend as my camera man, hope he gets more pictures then you got.

Good luck to you,

Well, first of all, congratulations on your upcoming surgery!

I suppose the best way to describe it really is a feeling of control. And the act of being castrated was for me the first step in taking control finally. It really is a wonderful feeling not being horny for the first time in 44 or 45 years.

If after reading of my experience anyone decides to use the services of Drs Spector and Kimmel, I really can't blame them. It does cost, but can potentially save a hospital stay (or a life). It's like the Clint Eastwood line, "How lucky do you feel?"

Good to read your story, Don.

Wow -- having a feeling of control. Now that is something to strive for!

- Jim

Thanks for the update, Don. Take care of yourself and don't be a stranger.

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:27 pm I am most of all glad that its everything you thought it was and more as you will come to fine out, I am chemically castrated and have been enjoying life as a eunuch for months. Its hard to explain to people what its like, you understand, its being in control for the first time in your life. Oh btw, I will be going to see Drs Spector and Kimmel on Sept 6th for my surgery, having both the balls and sac removed. I am also taking a mutual friend as my camera man, hope he gets more pictures then you got.

Well Hopefully Dr. Kimmel and staff can handle any of the emergencies that pop up instead of enlisting the help of the camera man. I know from experience that acting as camera man, video guy and nurse is not very easy. And when the cutter needs help, taking video and pictures suffer. But I did manage to get a few good pictures for Don.

Don (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:12 pm I think I've started to experience the calmness so many others have talked about. I do notice it takes a lot more than before to get me upset at work, and I don't get excited when rush-hour traffic is heavier than usual (don't get me wrong -- I still complain about it, it just doesn't get me too upset anymore). I'm looking forward to seeing what develops on that front.

Indeed, I for one would be interested as to how you experience and feel about "the eunuch calm". I think it varies from person to person, but in any case is the result of ultra-low levels of testosterone influencing the brain. It takes time to fully develop, I think, or at least it took about a year for the full calm to descend on me. But like you, I noticed within two weeks of castration that I had lost my "road rage" impulses.

So keep us updated, OK?

>

Don (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:12 pm Looking back on it now, would I do it again? You bet I

> would I feel a lot better as a eunuch than I did as a

> man. I would of course have an emergency plan agreed

> beforehand, along with a cover story (hopefully good

> enough not to get me committed )

Oh by the way, did you experience any issues with psychiatrists this time around, when they found out that you went to a cutter to have your testicles removed?

Where to start? I've got it, with the first unanswered post

Indeed Luvpain did get some good pics of the procedure, but as he said, he was kind of occupied as a part-time nurse during the proceedings. I'm just grateful for the pics he was able to get when his hands were free. And of course I'm eternally grateful for his help afterwards. Thanks again, Luv!!

With Andrew, I think the first place I noticed a new calmness was driving. I can still get frustrated in traffic, but I just don't get pissed off the way I used to. Also, at work, I still curse my PC at least hourly (who doesn't?), but I don't get the overwhelming urge to throw it out the window anymore

And Happousai, I was asked at least twice in the hospital if I'd like to see a shrink (I kind of remember a conselor stopping by while I was still groggy, too), and on my follow-up visit to the urologist he asked the same question. My answer was always, no, it's what I wanted and I'm completely happy with the results, and nobody has pressed the matter further. So the short answer is I've stayed shrink-free through the whole experience There was a certain amount of tut-tutting about how I should have gone to a physician, but I simply said I was skeptical there was a physician in the state of Michigan who would perform an elective castration. Nobody has contradicted me on that one yet.

Oh yeah, nobody has asked about the police yet, but I'll answer it anyway. Two detectives stopped by the house on my second day home from the hospital and asked a few questions. When it was clear they weren't going to get anything that would justify charges, they left, and I haven't heard from them since.

Luvpain hasn't heard from them either, and they haven't asked me about him, so I guess they don't monitor the EA I fully expect, though, to see that legislation has been introduced in Michigan to include surgery under the definition of "Practicing Medicine Without a License".

Of course I'll send updates as developments warrant.

Don Michigan is going to make a law for your, Cool, they will call it the Don law.

Its not often that some one dose somthing that gets a Law passed for them. This is great,

Oh I guess the other question that has not been asked and thats what happened to the cutter?