Greetings from thatstuff
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:05 am
Hey everybody! I'm a 22 year old straight guy, with interests in being eaten, penectomy, castration, and objectification. I'm an all-right writer, so I will probably submit some stories (I actually had one one here before, I'm going to see if I can dig it up and resubmit it). I'm also a professional programmer, so hopefully I will find some time to help out with the site eventually.
I'm here to explore/embrace fantasies I've had all my life, as well meditate on their origin, and even resolve certain negative aspects of them. I also would like to share in the heeling and helping that goes on here.
Below, I am going to explain what I'm into, and the history of it. I do this not only for myself, but also in the hopes that anyone else out there who has feelings similar to mine may gain something from it, as so many of your stories/discussions have done for me.
I can trace the feelings back nearly through my whole life, so, for those who are interested in that sort of progression:
My fantasies started as "being eaten while naked" as far back as I can remember. Furthermore, I always imagined that women would eat men. It even made me uncomfortable in cartoons, etc. if a male character ate another male (not in a homophobic sense per se, but in the same way that I wouldn't personally want to view gay porn). This gender identification became so strong, that I actually began to apply it as a primary identifier, even in spite of other characteristics. As a child, I thought that Jifar, from Aladdin, was a woman, because at a certain point, he ate someone, which in my mind made him a women. So between the nudity, and strong gender roles that I made up for it (again, we're talking kindergarten age), I believe it was always a sexualized act to me.
As I got older, the fantasies began to focus more and more on my genitals. It started as part of the "preparation" process, with women/classmates needing to clear/tie up/etc my genitals before eating me. In second grade, I had fantasies about a teacher cutting of my penis for misbehaving, and then later making me watch her eat it for lunch. By the end of elementary school, the fantasies were based solely on the consumption of my genitals, instead of on myself as a whole.
In middle school, the fantasies began to spread to objectification. They would involve my penis being removed accidentally or on purpose, often as punishment, and then a woman (teacher or classmate) deciding she wanted to keep it for some strange utilitarian purpose (turn it into a pencil, a doorstop, sex toy, etc), or eat it for a meal.
At this time (middle school), I fell into a deep depression. I began using drugs, and hanging out with much older friends. During this time, I did a lot of things that I am, shal we say, not proud of. I happened to find a girl among them who had a cannibalism fetish, who indulged my fantasies in return for me indulging hers. She had had what I can only refer to as a horrible life. She and another girl "passed me back and forth," because I was up to try most anything, and had an extremely high pain threshold. To this day, I am pretty sure I have some minor nerve damage from some of their "games." Only a year later, the girl with the cannibalism fetish took her own life, leaving me with terrible guilt which quickly took strong prevalence in my fantasies.
I quit hanging with those people, quit the drugs, quit being a shitty person, and got through high school. As I began looking on the internet for others who shared my fantasies, I found you guys! It was the first time in a long time that I felt like somewhat less of a freak.
I began to pursue healthier relationships, and would slowly work in elements of my fantasies into them, by encouraging biting and other similar play. However, I tend to be attracted to women with lots of baggage (specifically rape victims, for whatever reason). It's not that I know this when I start liking them - it just always turns out that that's the case.
Blood has never been a part of my fantasies (other than a few fantasies relating to vampirism, but even that is more about the consumption). My fantasies are very much about the end result, rather than the process; that is, castration and penectomy have to happen in order for a women to have my genitals, rather than being the goal themselves.
If I were to ever realize my fantasies, it would be with a partner AFTER having kids (that's something I really want to do). After lurking here for so long, the idea of not being constantly distracted by sex is quite attractive (I've never had the seemingly rabid need for it that others seem to). However, I don't think I will ever fully go through with it, as it is against some of my personal philosophies.
Well, that's like, everything
I would love to hear from anyone with any questions or thoughts/feelings agreeing, analyzing, to the contrary, whatever. I am a very open minded, accepting person, and quite thick-skinned as well!
I'm here to explore/embrace fantasies I've had all my life, as well meditate on their origin, and even resolve certain negative aspects of them. I also would like to share in the heeling and helping that goes on here.
Below, I am going to explain what I'm into, and the history of it. I do this not only for myself, but also in the hopes that anyone else out there who has feelings similar to mine may gain something from it, as so many of your stories/discussions have done for me.
I can trace the feelings back nearly through my whole life, so, for those who are interested in that sort of progression:
My fantasies started as "being eaten while naked" as far back as I can remember. Furthermore, I always imagined that women would eat men. It even made me uncomfortable in cartoons, etc. if a male character ate another male (not in a homophobic sense per se, but in the same way that I wouldn't personally want to view gay porn). This gender identification became so strong, that I actually began to apply it as a primary identifier, even in spite of other characteristics. As a child, I thought that Jifar, from Aladdin, was a woman, because at a certain point, he ate someone, which in my mind made him a women. So between the nudity, and strong gender roles that I made up for it (again, we're talking kindergarten age), I believe it was always a sexualized act to me.
As I got older, the fantasies began to focus more and more on my genitals. It started as part of the "preparation" process, with women/classmates needing to clear/tie up/etc my genitals before eating me. In second grade, I had fantasies about a teacher cutting of my penis for misbehaving, and then later making me watch her eat it for lunch. By the end of elementary school, the fantasies were based solely on the consumption of my genitals, instead of on myself as a whole.
In middle school, the fantasies began to spread to objectification. They would involve my penis being removed accidentally or on purpose, often as punishment, and then a woman (teacher or classmate) deciding she wanted to keep it for some strange utilitarian purpose (turn it into a pencil, a doorstop, sex toy, etc), or eat it for a meal.
At this time (middle school), I fell into a deep depression. I began using drugs, and hanging out with much older friends. During this time, I did a lot of things that I am, shal we say, not proud of. I happened to find a girl among them who had a cannibalism fetish, who indulged my fantasies in return for me indulging hers. She had had what I can only refer to as a horrible life. She and another girl "passed me back and forth," because I was up to try most anything, and had an extremely high pain threshold. To this day, I am pretty sure I have some minor nerve damage from some of their "games." Only a year later, the girl with the cannibalism fetish took her own life, leaving me with terrible guilt which quickly took strong prevalence in my fantasies.
I quit hanging with those people, quit the drugs, quit being a shitty person, and got through high school. As I began looking on the internet for others who shared my fantasies, I found you guys! It was the first time in a long time that I felt like somewhat less of a freak.
I began to pursue healthier relationships, and would slowly work in elements of my fantasies into them, by encouraging biting and other similar play. However, I tend to be attracted to women with lots of baggage (specifically rape victims, for whatever reason). It's not that I know this when I start liking them - it just always turns out that that's the case.
Blood has never been a part of my fantasies (other than a few fantasies relating to vampirism, but even that is more about the consumption). My fantasies are very much about the end result, rather than the process; that is, castration and penectomy have to happen in order for a women to have my genitals, rather than being the goal themselves.
If I were to ever realize my fantasies, it would be with a partner AFTER having kids (that's something I really want to do). After lurking here for so long, the idea of not being constantly distracted by sex is quite attractive (I've never had the seemingly rabid need for it that others seem to). However, I don't think I will ever fully go through with it, as it is against some of my personal philosophies.
Well, that's like, everything
I would love to hear from anyone with any questions or thoughts/feelings agreeing, analyzing, to the contrary, whatever. I am a very open minded, accepting person, and quite thick-skinned as well!