Any ideas on what drives people to want to have children?

We know that testosterone is the major part of what drives a man to have sex. It sounds like if a man intrinsically doesn't want to have sex, and is castrated, he probably becomes asexual and wouldn't regret not being able to have sex later since the desire is gone.

What about desire to have children - is this also induced by having testicles in the same way?

happousai:

I just posted this morning in my thread "just gotta ask" something relevant to your thread. To expound -

I DON"T KNOW WHY I WANT TO HAVE KIDS!

It's driving me insane! I want them...I just...feel like it's "time" ya know? I think it's a natural urge, esp. in women.

My take on men is this....

If god didn't make men horny, we wouldn't procreate.

Seriously, I've met FEW men who said they wanted children, but they ALL wanted the sex right away. And, those who want kids are pretty much big kids themselves and enjoy PLAYING with the brats, but when diaper changes or PTA meetings come, the male is no where to be seen. (Growl - I'm pmsing today)

Women, on the other hand, have that internal urge to nurture and help lil ones to grow into (in my case) better and more enlightened humans. Yeah, sad enough, one of my reasons for wanting children is the hope that if I can't make this world a better place, maybe they can. Watch 'em land in juvi before they're 10. (sigh) I can dream, can't I?

Yes men can want children the same as women, well not quite, its true that women do get this biological urge that men don’t get, her clock is running mans clock is there tell he dies. But wanting to be castrated and also wanting a family I chose a family first and I wanted a big family, 8 was the number, I stopped at 5. Why anybody today would have more then 2 is beyond me as the expense is more than one can bare. I would not trade any of my kids, now comes the fun part, Grand Kids, and there is only one way to get them.

You talked about fathers and changing diapers, well a study said you change between 5 and 6 thousand diapers for each kid, times 5 kids, I changed my share of diapers. My son has a new baby, and he also changes diapers he doesn’t mind, its his son.

I think there are more like him and me then those that dont.

Riverwind the Happy Eunuch

happousai (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 11, 2002 12:26 pm Any ideas on what drives people to want to have children?

We know that testosterone is the major part of what drives a man to have sex. It sounds like if a man intrinsically doesn't want to have sex, and is castrated, he probably becomes asexual and wouldn't regret not being able to have sex later since the desire is gone.

What about desire to have children - is this also induced by having testicles in the same way?

Nope. Hundreds of thousands of men had had vasectomies whilst fully sexual and before having children. And I am one of those. I had my vasectomy in 1973, at age 29, before I had any children. And there are quite a few men who have made that same choice.

While it requires testicles to produce children (at least until cloning is perfected), there seems to be no relationship between presence of testicles and the DESIRE for children or other "offspring." There are plenty of historical incidents of eunuchs adopting children (Chinese, Turkish, elsewhere). Many years ago I met and spent some time with the adopted (and NON-eunuch) son of the "last eunuch" in Korea. (I regret to this day that I didn't take notes when I talked with his father during a long evening at his house.)

The frequency of adoption, even across "racial" boundaries, proves that there is no required biological connection between parent and child - only a strong social bond is required.

"Offspring" can also be something less than children. I would argue that close work with a child which significantly changes that child for the better is an important type of "parenting," even if the child is neither biological nor legally adopted. I think that the many spinster "school-marms" of the Old West had a great many offspring, as did the eunuch pedagogues of ancient Greece and Rome. Arguably, one of the most successful producers of ideational offspring in history was the Old Testament prophet Daniel, with over a BILLION offspring today - the number of Christians and Jews in the world. He was castrated at the age of eleven or twelve and certainly had no biological children.

What drives the desire for children and other forms of offspring? I would have to argue that it is the only type of immortality which is certain. We live on in those whom we have touched and changed.

A lot of men do want children (especially me) but with Women nowadays being of the mind that they have to FIND Mr. Right rather than CREATE Mr.Right. Or closer to the truth "Mr. Perfect" it just means that most of those guys that DO want children will find themselves (with their love and willingness to change to fit a Woman's life) sitting out in the cold. While the Woman goes home alone thinking that ALL men are bastards and should be shot because they all have not grown up to be Her perfect image of what a man should be

Neoscrow....You just have to find a guy who is willing to change to be what You want. Even if he is not Mr.Perfect, he can become Mr.Perfect with practice. If he loves You he WILL practice.......guaranteed

LonePanther88 (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 12, 2002 4:43 am Neoscrow....You just have to find a guy who is willing to change to be what You want. Even if he is not Mr.Perfect, he can become Mr.Perfect with practice. If he loves You he WILL practice.......guaranteed

LonePanther88:

Dude, I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect.

As I told one man particularly close to me, "I just want a man who's as effed up as I am where my strengths complement his weaknessess and his strengths complement mine."

The man's response was,"Damn, sis, too bad I'm your brother."

My bro and I live together and though he's 37 and I'm 29, we fight like 12 year olds and still have a lot of fun. When his kids come over, it's like one big kiddie party with no chaperones and we have a lot of fun. Rarely do my brother and I argue - I think in all 29 years it's only happened about 3 times, but when we DO argue, the pillars of heaven shake.

All in all, I don't expect perfection 'cause I myself am not perfect. Still, my brother says I'm way too picky and that "you women ask entirely too much of men."

I do need to add that he is divorced. LOL He's a good guy, but I couldn't see myself married to someone like him. He's a baby! Sure he works hard, but so do I, and to come home to him asking his girlfriend (who also worked that day) "could ya go get me somethin' outta the fridge" drive me crazy!

He boasts about mowing the lawn. I vaccum the house.

He boasts about fixing the driveway light. I write all his reports for work.

He boasts about cleaning the basement. I mop, scrub, keep a clean kitchen...and his point???????

Whenever his girlfriend caters to him like he's Baby Lottabux, I imitate the chick in Eddie Murphy's "Coming to America" when he asked her, "what is it you like to do?"

Her reply, "whatever you like to do?"

"Stand on one foot."

Stands on one foot.

"Hop

She hops.

"Bark like a dog."

"ruff, ruff, ruff."

"Bark like a big dog."

"WOOF WOOF WOOF."

And that's what I do when she caters to him, I just bark at her to remind her of it.

I don't mean to be cruel...am I? Am I really too hard on men?

Why, dear god, do I fear the replies to THIS ONE?

peter4u (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 12, 2002 1:47 pm Whenever his girlfriend caters to him like he's Baby Lottabux, I imitate the chick in Eddie Murphy's "Coming to America" when he asked her, "what is it you like to do?"

Her reply, "whatever you like to do?"

"Stand on one foot."

Stands on one foot.

"Hop

She hops.

"Bark like a dog."

"ruff, ruff, ruff."

"Bark like a big dog."

"WOOF WOOF WOOF."

And that's what I do when she caters to him, I just bark at her to remind her of it.

I don't mean to be cruel...am I? Am I really too hard on men?

Why, dear god, do I fear the replies to THIS ONE?

NO I don’t think so, a man likes a woman with a good sense of humor. Go find your guy, but remember what attracted you to him, don’t change him. Keep in mind that men and women are not equal and never will be, null program. Be thankful for the differences.

Riverwind the Happy Eunuch :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

I, for one, can't see any possible benefits in raising a family these days.

1)It costs a small fortune to bring up a child, what with feeding, clothing, doctor/dentist bills, etc. Not to mention college tuition or bail money & lawyer fees, depending on which way the child goes.

2)It takes alot of emotional commitment to raise a well-balanced, educated, healthy child. That is a major time commitment, one that, it appears, many are not truly ready or able to make. A child ignored will soon come to believe that they are unwanted & will behave accordingly.

3)Children have no raison d'etre these days. That is to say that they are really unnecessary. In the old agrarian days a woman married a man because she needed a farm & a man married a woman because he needed children for farm hands. A "farm-boy/girl" knew that what they were doing was important because without their labors the crops would die & they would starve. These days, any child given the chore of, say, washing the dishes realizes that Mommy or Daddy will take care of it if they are unable or unwilling to. Nobody ever suffered greatly from dirty dishes.

The above reason is why there is so much teen vandalism & other types of destructive behavior these days. Simply, no reason to exist.

4)Last but not least, one could give birth to a "defective" child (I realize this description may not be politicly correct but bear with me). This possibility is especially worth concidering if there are genetic health problems in the family. Not only will this cost alot of money to repair or maintain but think of the overall despair. And there is a humanistic factor: What child doesn't wish to be able to run & play like his peers?

As far as remaining single is concerned, for me, I enjoy being accountable to nobody but myself & I have made too many sacrifices to get where I am today to lose it all in a divorce settlement.

But these are all just my opinions.

The reason? Ignorance!

Master Waddie :p