So yesterday I went to the local cafe to have a coffee with my BF as normal and while he was getting our order I sat down. After a few min's a man came over and stooped over me and said "Your in here every day ARNT you!" erm well no not really, was my reply. "Your in here every day I know and I HAVE to come in here too, its a place I want to be as WELL !!" erm.... and I laugh a bit thinking he is joking... "Maybe YOU should think about that!" he continues and just walks off... He was standing over me in a menacing way and I was glad I knew that their were cameras in the shop.

So this is my first real experience of this kind of hate and it was only later that it registered how much it effected me.. I didn't know this person, he wasn't after my seat as he had takeaway coffee, and I can only assume he didn't like the way I dress... Sad that these people have nothing better to do....

Anyway later on that day I called the coffee shop and told them what happened so hopefully it wont happen again...

And I will be back next Sunday and I wont change who I am or how I look for anyone. I have been going to this shop for years with my BF on a Sunday and am not about to change.

Ryan

go as you are. that guy has NO right at all to say things like that. He can be reported for hate crime actually if you were of a mind to.

Sounds like a self hating closet case.

tugon (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:06 am Sounds like a self hating closet case.

I was thinking the very same thing.

Seriously, as I unterstand it, today most psycho-quacks (mental health professionals) say that everyone is in fact bi-sexual, even the most "dyed in the wool" totally hetrosexual people do in fact have some homosexual ideations somewhere in their minds, and even the most homosexual "never ever had sex with anyone of the opposite sex" totally gay or lesbian person does still have some hetrosexual ideations and thought somewhere in their minds. Additionally, most psycho-quacks will tell you that the loudest and meanest gay bashers are in fact themselves, truly homosexual, and that they NEED to reinforce their repression mechanisms by outwardly attacking the self same homosexuals that they dearly wish they could be.

So, odd as it seems Hungrycat, the gay basher that you had the nasty encounter with was quite probably spending much of his mental energy surpressing his own homosexual desires, and really working hard at that repression because his inner homosexual desires are very strong. Like I say, I know this seems an odd way of looking at it, but maybe you could see his acts as a compliment, yes, I said a compliment. You see, even though the stupid gay basher lacks the courage to be honest with himself, he had such strong homosexual desires for you that he needed to spew a bunch of lies to keep his repressed desires at bay. IF this person had the courage it takes to be HONEST with himself and others, he would probaly have walked up to you and said something like "Excuse me, but I have to tell you that I find you very attractive, so much so that I cannot help but notice you every time I see you... If you ever break up with your boyfriend, please keep my phone number handy and give me a call." <--THAT is in fact what his inner self desparately wanted to say to you, but the outer conscious self forced the true inner feelings down, and did so with the harshest methods.

So, again, even though it seems really wierd to think it, you should be flattered that he is so attracted to you. By the way, I bet a lot of guys are attracted to you.

Thank you all.. Im feeling a bit better today... Yep you may be right but it was the fact he seemed a bit thretning that was the worry...

The point of all guys have a bit of gay in them may be right as today I was walking with my BF to his work place and a group of guys went past and one said "I'm confused are you a boy or a girl". Needless to say by BF went mad and told them to F off but the one doing the talking could not keep his eyes off me... Ha har .. so yeh I think this could be true...

Ryan

DeaconBlues (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:07 pm I was thinking the very same thing.

Seriously, as I unterstand it, today most psycho-quacks (mental health professionals) say that everyone is in fact bi-sexual, even the most "dyed in the wool" totally hetrosexual people do in fact have some homosexual ideations somewhere in their minds, and even the most homosexual "never ever had sex with anyone of the opposite sex" totally gay or lesbian person does still have some hetrosexual ideations and thought somewhere in their minds. Additionally, most psycho-quacks will tell you that the loudest and meanest gay bashers are in fact themselves, truly homosexual, and that they NEED to reinforce their repression mechanisms by outwardly attacking the self same homosexuals that they dearly wish they could be.

So, odd as it seems Hungrycat, the gay basher that you had the nasty encounter with was quite probably spending much of his mental energy surpressing his own homosexual desires, and really working hard at that repression because his inner homosexual desires are very strong. Like I say, I know this seems an odd way of looking at it, but maybe you could see his acts as a compliment, yes, I said a compliment. You see, even though the stupid gay basher lacks the courage to be honest with himself, he had such strong homosexual desires for you that he needed to spew a bunch of lies to keep his repressed desires at bay. IF this person had the courage it takes to be HONEST with himself and others, he would probaly have walked up to you and said something like "Excuse me, but I have to tell you that I find you very attractive, so much so that I cannot help but notice you every time I see you... If you ever break up with your boyfriend, please keep my phone number handy and give me a call." <--THAT is in fact what his inner self desparately wanted to say to you, but the outer conscious self forced the true inner feelings down, and did so with the harshest methods.

So, again, even though it seems really wierd to think it, you should be flattered that he is so attracted to you. By the way, I bet a lot of guys are attracted to you.

I have to point out, just as it is impossible that everyone is only straight or gay, it is also impossible that NOBODY is 100% straight or gay. The mathematical statistical probability for 100% of all humans being bisexual is going to be very very very small.

Also, how are we defining orientation? By gender? By sex? And do we define orientation with a view towards the subject's gender or sex (i.e. gay/bi/straight) or do we leave the subject's gender and sex out of orientation by simply saying preference to men, women or both?

I'd say that it takes a brave psych to make the claim that EVERYONE is bi-sexual, because mathematically, that's a very very highly unlikely statistic.

I'd like to mention that the bit about the loudest meanest gay bashers are closeted gay themselves, as being generally true. The Uni of Georgia (the USA Georgia, not the one that Russia reamed), did an experiment where they took 2 groups of men, all straight-identifying, with one homophobic group as scored on the Wright, Adams, and Bernat Homophobia Scale, and the other group non-homophobic as scored on the same scale. The experiment exposed both groups to 3 types of pornographic material: man-on- man, man-on-woman, woman-on-woman.

The % arousal rate for man-on-woman and woman-on-woman porn was approximately the same in both groups. But the results for man-on-man porn is as follows:

Homophobic group: 85% arousal rate

Non-homophobic group: 33% arousal rate

The conclusion is quite clear.

Thanks, all, for the insights. I've always been puzzled about why some people get so worked up about a total stranger's sexual orientation.

Sandi

Sounds like someone who needs a scalding hot cup of coffee dumped down his shorts.

I think your reaction was very much more serene than mine would have been.

Paolo wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:33 pm Sounds like someone who needs a scalding hot cup of coffee dumped down his shorts.

I think your reaction was very much more serene than mine would have been.

Yeah boil his junk. That should create a change in attitude.

I ahve a neighbor who fills his yard with junk -- like old cars, motors, tanks, metal roof parts, all sorts of goodies that men like.

When anyone visits me and makes a comment I tell them that I don't look anymore. It's not my property, it's his and I don't care to be disturbed with what he does.

Life is too short to be angry and judgmental all the time.