Hi,

Some of you may have read my blogs before and just to recap I'm currently seeing my therepest about being refered to a Gender Identity Clinic. I have two more meetings and the subject of name change has come up. I seems that the to convince people that you want to change your gender that you need to change your name. I am of the thought that I may want to change my identiy to female through hormones and then maybe sergery later. I dont underdtand why I should change my name though. I can kinda get the idea behind it, but (being stubbon) like to question why....

I like my name (sort of) and it would be difficult to get a job and keep friends if I changed my name so why do they ask to do this... Its hard enough changing your body to fit your chosen identity... My name cant be taken as a female one so its guna be hard to change it....

Confused....

It's similar to therapists who expect you to wear a dress and heels, even though most women don't, nowadays. Keep your male name, and tell them you are who you are, and they better get used to it. Jumping through someone else's hoops to prove ourselves is ridiculous.

Wow... I didnt think the reply would be so blunt but it kinda makes sence to me now.. Thank you Caith you have halped me alot and very quickly... I will keep my name how it is... yey ! ^-^

Arrr... so its one step forward and one back... My therepest said if I ever want help ed hormones ect I will have to change my name now... O.o

Dam it so changing my name isnt so bad, but why should I ???..... I know that in the UK I can understand why they ask you to do these things but isnt the thinking behind it a bit out of date now?

How the hell do other people who do not identify with male or female for example get anywhere???? Hummmm...

If I want more help I have to tell my BF and everyone at work and get my name changed...

Review the WPATH Standards of Care v6 guidelines for yourself at http://www.wpath.org/documents2/socv6.pdf (It's not a terribly long document.)

Nowhere does it state you must change your name before beginning therapy or receiving hormones. There are guidelines for the things you must know and understand before starting hormones. There are a lot of things you have to be prepared for, but most of them are common sense.

In my humble opinion, it might help you to look for another therapist.

There is always the Inhouse Pharmacy route for hormones/anti-adrogens. Maybe you can get through to your therapist if you show you're willing to go the do it yourself route if they won't help you?

I would also consider seeing a different therapist of that is possible as this one seems to militant to me. However if you have a good rapport built that would be hard to give up.

Best of Luck!

hungrycat (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:21 pm Arrr... so its one step forward and one back... My therepest said if I ever want help ed hormones ect I will have to change my name now... O.o

Dam it so changing my name isnt so bad, but why should I ???..... I know that in the UK I can understand why they ask you to do these things but isnt the thinking behind it a bit out of date now?

How the hell do other people who do not identify with male or female for example get anywhere???? Hummmm...

If I want more help I have to tell my BF and everyone at work and get my name changed...

How do I get anywhere without identifying as exclusively male or exclusively male? By openly identifying as being, in diverse ways, of both, and by not allowing anyone else to define me, in ways I will accept or internalize which I find to be incorrect.

Forgive me for repeating; at a Chicago Gender Society meeting many years ago, another member asked me why I didn't cross-dress, and I replied, "What makes you think I am not cross-dressed now?" Jane (my main inner "female personality" identity) had gone to the meeting in conventional masculine attire.

I do not consent to that which I experience as abusive or otherwise seriously, personally, not to be desired or accepted.

I would delete your therapists phone number and never talk to her again becasue she is a TOTAL FUCKING MORON! If you are not ready to live full time as a woman, you are in for a hard time if you change your mind. I see train wreck stories EVERY day that are consistant in nature by the fact that they tried to go "full time" or Socially Transition berfore starting HRT or before HRT has had a chance to work.

I don't make the rules but I can tell you what reality is. The better you pass as a female and the prettier you are, the better you will be treated and accepted. If you start to publickly transition and you look like a man in womens clothes/accessories, people are going to stare at and/or harrass you. I have seen countless mid-transition MTF find themselves destitute and hopeless and my heart goes out to them. I ask myself, "why do they do this to themselves." If I had to guess, I would say that they fight the GID so hard and so long that they just snap. Living as a "man in a dress" is better than death which is the only other choice they see.

I read forums every day about the horrible struggles of some of these transsexuals and it is all I can do to keep my mouth shut. The suicide rate for trans people is extrordinary and is estimated at about 30% or so which doesn't account for those that never say anything to anyone and just do themselves in rather than live another day in their conflicted gender yet can't bear to face transition.

If I had one piece of advice that I could give any TS, it that if you are going to transition, start taking HRT and keep living in your current gender until you start getting mam'ed when you are "trying" to pass as a guy. I am 9 months into HRT and most people have no idea that I'm medically transitioning, including my wife (long story). I'm sure a LOT of people notice something but transition is the last thing anyone ever thinks of. If you look at my pictures over the last two years you'd say "how could they not see it"! lol Honestly I get startled sometimes when I see my reflection and I just stare and say "WTF".

Be patient and do this sensibly which would NOT include changing your name now. I'm sorry but your therapist is fucking insane. Sorry for the language but that level of incompetence pisses me off....

Great post, Jessica. Just one additional suggestion, from someone who's living as a male with breasts right now. It's better to start permanent facial hair removal at least a year before beginning hormones. Regardless of whether it's laser or electrolysis, it's better to be free and clear of any facial hair BEFORE you start growing breasts.

And, now that you've said it so bluntly, I'll agree with you. That therapist is a moron who has no business discussing gender with clients. She has a gatekeeper mentality that says "my way or nothing at all" and nothing could be worse for wasting a TG/TS person's time and energy.

Good point Caith. Hurry and start laser treatments on your face. Research it well as not all lasers are equal and your skin and hair color will matter what you need. Laser wont do anything with white or gray and avoid IPL (intense pulsed light) at all costs since it just doesnt do much for beard hair. Depending on your age, you could have 6 months to 3 years on HRT before you are forced to make the jump. I'd highly encourage you to stay on HRT until you are getting mam'ed while trying to present as a guy.

Good luck!