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Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:22 am
by transward (imported)
Interesting day yesterday. I run a small nonprofit doing food for several housing for homeless facilities, one of them for the local Catholic Community Services drug and alcohol program. Been a tough month, fighting with IRS over back business taxes, emergency expenses, etc, etc (insert classic BMW [Bitch, Moan, Whine] here,) Ended up having to take out a personal payday loan to fund business til the 1st of the month. Upshot was I was so depressed I could look up to a ladybug 's elbow and was bitterly berating myself for utter incompetence as a businesswoman, to the point of considering a 12 gauge diet.
Pulling into the payday places parking lot I saw a back pack with sleeping bag on top leaning against a light pole, and a homeless guy back in the bushes peeing. Parking I saw him walking up to my company van. Rough looking character, lots of facial hair several layers of clothes. Figured he was going to panhandle me so dug through my purse for my last 50 cents. As he walked up I opened the door. He said, They still havent got you a new van yet. Recognized him immediately. He had been a resident at the drug and alcohol program for a couple of years, where he had spent a lot of time in line in the dining room talking to me about his life. Short hot tempered Italian. Eventually got thrown out of the program for getting into fist fights over a very beautiful Somali girl whose favorite pastime was getting drunk and provoking men into fighting over her.
He told me how much he missed my cooking and how much talking to me had meant. Said he thought I might hav been the only sane person in the building. And he refused my 50 cents, picked up his pack and walked off.
After 15 years feeding the homeless I may well end starving under a bridge one of these days (the old guy upstairs has a nasty sense of humor), but some days it is worth it.
Then as I arrived at work they were hauling one of my favorite residents off in a body bag. Heart attact after a lifetime love affair with Jack and Jim (Daniels and Beam) These guys are hard on themselves.
Transward
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:32 am
by transward (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:22 am
Interesting day yesterday. I run a small nonprofit doing food for several housing for homeless facilities, one of them for the local Catholic Community Services drug and alcohol program. Been a tough month, fighting with IRS over back business taxes, emergency expenses, etc, etc (insert classic BMW [Bitch, Moan, Whine] here,) Ended up having to take out a personal payday loan to fund business til the 1st of the month. Upshot was I was so depressed I could look up to a ladybug 's elbow and was bitterly berating myself for utter incompetence as a businesswoman, to the point of considering a 12 gauge diet.
Pulling into the payday places parking lot I saw a back pack with sleeping bag on top leaning against a light pole, and a homeless guy back in the bushes peeing. Parking I saw him walking up to my company van. Rough looking character, lots of facial hair several layers of clothes. Figured he was going to panhandle me so dug through my purse for my last 50 cents. As he walked up I opened the door. He said, They still havent got you a new van yet. Recognized him immediately. He had been a resident at the drug and alcohol program for a couple of years, where he had spent a lot of time in line in the dining room talking to me about his life. Short hot tempered Italian. Eventually got thrown out of the program for getting into fist fights over a very beautiful Somali girl whose favorite pastime was getting drunk and provoking men into fighting over her.
He told me how much he missed my cooking and how much talking to me had meant. Said he thought I might hav been the only sane person in the building. And he refused my 50 cents, picked up his pack and walked off.
After 15 years feeding the homeless I may well end starving under a bridge one of these days (the old guy upstairs has a nasty sense of humor), but some days it is worth it.
Then as I arrived at work they were hauling one of my favorite residents off in a body bag. Heart attact after a lifetime love affair with Jack and Jim (Daniels and Beam) These guys are hard on themselves.
Transward
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 3:31 am
by Caith721 (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:22 am
After 15 years feeding the homeless I may well end starving under a bridge one of these days (the old guy upstairs has a nasty sense of humor), but some days it is worth it.
Yeah, the big guy/gal upstairs has a wicked sense of humor. But he/she also greatly recognizes acts of kindness. One act of kindness far outweighs many, many bad things. I think you'll never have to worry about going to the bad place. You're doing a LOT of kindness, and that's a rare thing these days.
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:44 am
by janekane (imported)
For myself (I do not write or speak for other people), a sequence of events that might lead me to glance at the "12 gauge diet" menu is a sequence which invites me to re-evaluate my most basic beliefs.
Once on a time, I did an experiment. I tried attributing situational factors (factors outside my actual locus of control) to my disposition, by assigning some situational factors within my locus of control. My life went "THUD," and went flatter than a monolayer of luminiferous aether.
My tentative conclusion? Assigning situational factors to my disposition may be a blunder I wisely learn to avoid.
How can I learn that? By doing it as many stupidly-ridiculous times as it takes.
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 5:22 am
by butterflyjack (imported)
Well, Transward, if there's a heaven, you're going sweety...Although I think you deserve a little more heaven here on earth...You're beautiful smooches Jackie
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:24 am
by Paolo
Strange.
Merged threads.
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 9:35 am
by transward (imported)
Sorry for the duplicate threads. When I posted it around 1:30 AM my internet connection was buggy, losing connection for from 30 seconds to a minute or two. When I hit the submit button, the software churned for a while and then popped up a "404 Not Found" screen. When the lights on the cable modem came back up, I hit the back button and the submit again. It zipped through in a second. Then went to bed. This morning I found I had posted it twice. Again sorry.
Transward
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:06 am
by Danya (imported)
You have my utmost respect and admiration for the good work you do and for the woman you are. There are so many people in need and, it seems these days, far too few resources available for them.
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:50 am
by janekane (imported)
Sometimes, I wonder whether the choice is between: caring, being damaged for caring, and knowing it; and not caring, being damaged for not caring, and not knowing it.
.....
I once wrote a few words, which were something like:
Covering up your feelings is like putting a bandage on a bad sliver.
Though you can no longer see it, it is still there.
It will continue to hurt.
Covering up your feelings may feel better right now,
Yet your whole life will be more painful.
.....
And, once on a time, I heard a young boy ask his mother:
"Why does dad hate me so much?"
His mother answered:
"He doesn't hate you. What he does is the only way he knows to tell you how much he really loves you."
.....
I have known people who do not wait for the fire next time.
They walk into the fire now.
For that, I am profoundly grateful. How else could I be here?
Re: Interesting day
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:42 pm
by transward (imported)
I haven't decided whether to believe in the Old Guy Upstairs or not, but I think I believe in miracles.
Tonight I was getting off after an 11 hour day on my feet, had locked the kitchen and was on my way out . I was leaning on the front desk chatting with the desk clerks, friends of mine, when the Drunk Van drove up. ( It usually makes several deliveries a day to our place) Seattle is throwing the Capitol Hill Block Party about 5 blocks up the street from us this weekend. They block off a bunch of streets, bring in a bunch of bands and party all weekend. About 50,000 people usually show up and its pretty rowdy, so we were getting more than usual number of deliveries from the Drunk Van. I watched them unload one of our finest residents, and two of them were helping him into the building where we had a wheelchair waiting. The guy protests he doesn't need any help, pulls away from his helpers and dives head first through a 5x9 plate glass window. I see his head protrude through the window, then as he folded up his head jerked back outside, and there is the sound of large quantities of glass shattering and glass explodes all over the place. The guy staggers up comes through the door and plows headfirst into a table next to the door, falling into a pile of plate glass shards. I saw it happen as if in slow motion. I saw his head through the glass window. I have no idea how he didn't at least slit his throat if not cut off his head. It looked like that kind of accident. They called an ambulance, which came examined him and hauled him off. He had a few minor cuts on his forehead, probably less than a dozen stitches worth. I have no idea how he is still alive.
Transward