The White Van, Ideas, Rough Draft & Beta Read
Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 1:01 pm
Hi Guys
I'm working on some ideas of where to take the White Van story line next. I want to keep it fresh but not too weird. Also I'm not sure how much fleshing out the story needs. Would it be better to have a lot of small detail to give it more body or to keep it leaned down to the bone for a quick read and buzz. This is a rough draft of the next chapeter. If people think it works I'll work more with it a post it some time. If it doesn't work so well I'll hit deleat and start over. Thank you for what ever input you can give me.
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There was a game played by some of the more adventurous and thrill seeking boys. It was a very dangerous game frot with parel but it was far more thrilling than chess or stamp collecting. The game was called "Freelance". It was an innocent sounding name. If adult overheard two boys talking and the converstation went like this;
Boy 1: "Peter played freelance last Saturday, it was his first time ever."
Boy 2: "No way! not Peter! He wouldn't have the guts to do that."
Boy 1: "But he told me himself. If you don't believe me just ask him youself. He did pretty well too. He says he scored forty points."
the eavesdropping adult would probably not give it a second thought. But the game was far from innocent childs play. Freelance was verbal shorthand for freelance prostitute and points were really dollars. The rules were simple. A boy would go to the park or some other public place where he might meet a man. With out being too forward the boy would strike up a conversation with the man and in passing mention that he needed to earn forty dollars or so to buy a birthday gift for his mother. The man might respond by saying that he'd like to help but he didn't have a lawn to mow or a dog to walk. The boy would suggest there might be something else he could do.
If the man asked what that might be the boy could say, "Well you seem like a really nice guy. I know this is wrong and stuff and I've never even thought about doing anything like it before, but I really need that money to buy the gift for mom. Her birthday is tomarrow. If you promise not to tell I guess it would be okay if you paid me forty dollars to give me blow job. For twenty dollars more I'd even let you put a finger up my butt. Just prmois to stop if I say so, okay?"
Gordy played the game for his first time soon after he turned 12. He was scared but oh what a rush having his dick sucked gave him. He didn't even need the money but he took it all the same. After all that was part of the game. If you didn't get paid "freelance" wouldn't be freelance. It would be "slut" or manybe "whore."
Gordy played the game three times to great success. But on the fourth attempt things didn't go so well. But even so he was not ready to call it quits. Gordy went to a local park in such of some action and soon found a man to talk with.
"I used to come to this park when I was your age," the man in the park said.
"You did?" Gordy asked.
"Sure, I came to play freelance. I made some good money too. It was fun." Gordy was stunned.
"Don't be so supprised," the man said, "That's why you are here isn't it. You came here to play."
"Maybe," Gordy replied being advasive, "I haven't really thought about it but I might play. I guess."
"It's pretty dangerious," the man in the park said.
"Yeah, I know that, you don't have to tell me," the boy said.
"How do you know? Have your friends ever been hurt while playing?" the man wanted to know.
"No, I don't think so," Gordy replied
"Have you ever been hurt playing?"
"The first three times were real good," the youngster said. "I had fun and made some money. The forth time out was not so good."
"Most often a boy plays until he gets hurt and then he quites. Some men even think that they are doing a service for the boy ruffing him up a bit to scare him away from the trade. You've been hurt once before so why come back for more?"
"Reasons," Gordy said.
"What reasons?"
"This is probably the last time I'll be able to play."
"The last time? How's that? Your not moving to Mars tomorrow or joining a convent for cloister boys are you?"
"No nothing like that. It's worse much worse.. My dad suppects I've been playing freelance and he's determined to put a stop to it once and for all."
"Is he going to sent you away to one of those boarding schools were they watch you 24/7?"
"I wish, no it's worse than that?"
"What's your dad going to do to you?"
Gordy didn't really want to answer the man but he had no one else to talk to. "My dad is going to take me to a place tomarrow," he said. "It's a place where boys my age are taken to be penectomized. Chop chop and no more dick for me. Dad had me there once before about two weeks ago. I thought I was going to lose it them but I was lucky, some other boy took the cut for me and got to leave as a complete boy. Dad was sure pissed that we're going to have to make a second trip. I think tomarrow he's going to fix it so I lose. Anyway no more dick means no more blow jobs and that means no more freelance."
"What happened the forth time you played freelance? You said it didn't go to well."
"I was dumb. I took a ride from a man. He was driving one of those classic VW Vans from the 1960's all tricked out like something a hippie would own, peace symbols and day glo flowers. That sort of thing. I know it was stupid but but he looked good and he seemed nice, not creepy at all or anything. And I was feeling horny."
"What did he do to you?"
"What do you think he did? He raped me right in the back of his groovy VW Van. I was a virgin. It hurt real bad and I was so scared. I tried to get away but he was too strong. When he did me I bleed. I was scared that once he finished taking his pleasure he's slit my throught and dump my body in a landfull somewhere. But he didn't do that. After he took it out he dried my tears and carefully cleaned the blood and seman from my butt. He said he was sorry, that he hadn't meant to rape me but that I was just so damn beauiful and such a little hottie that he couldn't control his lust. He said men could be like that. He helped me put my cloths back on and kissed my forehead like I was a little kid or something. He gave me a crisp new 100 dollar bill for my troubles and told me to stay away from strange men, that next time I might not be so lucky. Then he let me go. That was how it happened."
That was how it happened but Gordy wasn't telling everything. The boy had indeed feared for his life but the orgasm he experianced at the hands and dick of his rapist was transformative, it had lifted the boy to heather to unreached levels of ecstasy. If the man with the VW van and decided to keep Gordy as his catamite Gordy would not have resisted. Gordy had once read of another boy, a boy named Shawn Hornbeck. Shawn Hornbeck had been kidnapped and kept for years by a boy rapist. The kidnaper and rapist needed no locked doors to keep Hornbeck his prisoner. Althought he had countless opportunities Young Shawn made no attempt at escape and made no attempt to free a younger boy also taken by his rapist. When he was found at last everyone asked why young Shawn had simply walked away.
Everyone asked why but not Gordy. Gordy understood full well that with one rape a man can take possession of a boy. Gordy carried that 100 dollar bill in his wallet but would never spend it. The one hundred dollars was all he had to remember the man by and everyday he would look at it with longing. Even now the man with the VW van owned Gordy in a way Gordy's father never would. Gordy would walk the part of town where he had been picked up by the VW man hoping to see him again. He hoped to feel the man inside him once more. Gordy didn't want to leaves his home, his friends and his dad. But if the VW man returned to claim the boy he would not resist. Gordy would cry for the life he left behind but he would rejoice to be owned by a man who could give him such unequaled pleasure.
"You liked being raped didn't you?" the man in the park said, "I can see it in your eyes."
"Yes it was fun," Gordy admitted. With that the man in the park pulled out a tranquilizer gun and shot the youth.
When Gordy awoke he found that he was naked a tied to a castration table in a hospital room. His legs bound and held up and apart leaving his genitals fully exposed and vulnerable. He saw no one but could hear voices. Soon a man in surgical scubs stepped into his field of view and said, "Hi Gordy, I'm Dr. Cranston and in just a bit I'll be taking you in to surgery for your opperation.
Gordy was flabbergasted. The Dr. was the man from the VW Van. "You," Gordy said, "You."
"Yes me, the good doctor replied. "I was the man who picked you up in the VW. I was the one who took your cute little cherry. But there was more. Your father heird me to teach you a lesson about personal safety but you would not learn I told you that you needed to stay away from strange men and that next time you might not be so lucky. I'm sorry you didn't take that advice. Instead you went out to play freelance and that is why you are here now."
Then someone else entered the room. It was Gordy's dad! He stepped up tp Gordy standing right between the helpless youngster's spread legs.
"Dad get me out of here," the youngster sobbed. "I'm sorry I played freelance."
"Sorry doesn't cut it now kiddo," his dad said. "You should have taken the penectomy when you could have but now, after how you have acted we have no chose. You'll be getting a full nullification with a prostate removal. It's the only way to keep you safe and out of trouble."
I'm working on some ideas of where to take the White Van story line next. I want to keep it fresh but not too weird. Also I'm not sure how much fleshing out the story needs. Would it be better to have a lot of small detail to give it more body or to keep it leaned down to the bone for a quick read and buzz. This is a rough draft of the next chapeter. If people think it works I'll work more with it a post it some time. If it doesn't work so well I'll hit deleat and start over. Thank you for what ever input you can give me.
****************************************
There was a game played by some of the more adventurous and thrill seeking boys. It was a very dangerous game frot with parel but it was far more thrilling than chess or stamp collecting. The game was called "Freelance". It was an innocent sounding name. If adult overheard two boys talking and the converstation went like this;
Boy 1: "Peter played freelance last Saturday, it was his first time ever."
Boy 2: "No way! not Peter! He wouldn't have the guts to do that."
Boy 1: "But he told me himself. If you don't believe me just ask him youself. He did pretty well too. He says he scored forty points."
the eavesdropping adult would probably not give it a second thought. But the game was far from innocent childs play. Freelance was verbal shorthand for freelance prostitute and points were really dollars. The rules were simple. A boy would go to the park or some other public place where he might meet a man. With out being too forward the boy would strike up a conversation with the man and in passing mention that he needed to earn forty dollars or so to buy a birthday gift for his mother. The man might respond by saying that he'd like to help but he didn't have a lawn to mow or a dog to walk. The boy would suggest there might be something else he could do.
If the man asked what that might be the boy could say, "Well you seem like a really nice guy. I know this is wrong and stuff and I've never even thought about doing anything like it before, but I really need that money to buy the gift for mom. Her birthday is tomarrow. If you promise not to tell I guess it would be okay if you paid me forty dollars to give me blow job. For twenty dollars more I'd even let you put a finger up my butt. Just prmois to stop if I say so, okay?"
Gordy played the game for his first time soon after he turned 12. He was scared but oh what a rush having his dick sucked gave him. He didn't even need the money but he took it all the same. After all that was part of the game. If you didn't get paid "freelance" wouldn't be freelance. It would be "slut" or manybe "whore."
Gordy played the game three times to great success. But on the fourth attempt things didn't go so well. But even so he was not ready to call it quits. Gordy went to a local park in such of some action and soon found a man to talk with.
"I used to come to this park when I was your age," the man in the park said.
"You did?" Gordy asked.
"Sure, I came to play freelance. I made some good money too. It was fun." Gordy was stunned.
"Don't be so supprised," the man said, "That's why you are here isn't it. You came here to play."
"Maybe," Gordy replied being advasive, "I haven't really thought about it but I might play. I guess."
"It's pretty dangerious," the man in the park said.
"Yeah, I know that, you don't have to tell me," the boy said.
"How do you know? Have your friends ever been hurt while playing?" the man wanted to know.
"No, I don't think so," Gordy replied
"Have you ever been hurt playing?"
"The first three times were real good," the youngster said. "I had fun and made some money. The forth time out was not so good."
"Most often a boy plays until he gets hurt and then he quites. Some men even think that they are doing a service for the boy ruffing him up a bit to scare him away from the trade. You've been hurt once before so why come back for more?"
"Reasons," Gordy said.
"What reasons?"
"This is probably the last time I'll be able to play."
"The last time? How's that? Your not moving to Mars tomorrow or joining a convent for cloister boys are you?"
"No nothing like that. It's worse much worse.. My dad suppects I've been playing freelance and he's determined to put a stop to it once and for all."
"Is he going to sent you away to one of those boarding schools were they watch you 24/7?"
"I wish, no it's worse than that?"
"What's your dad going to do to you?"
Gordy didn't really want to answer the man but he had no one else to talk to. "My dad is going to take me to a place tomarrow," he said. "It's a place where boys my age are taken to be penectomized. Chop chop and no more dick for me. Dad had me there once before about two weeks ago. I thought I was going to lose it them but I was lucky, some other boy took the cut for me and got to leave as a complete boy. Dad was sure pissed that we're going to have to make a second trip. I think tomarrow he's going to fix it so I lose. Anyway no more dick means no more blow jobs and that means no more freelance."
"What happened the forth time you played freelance? You said it didn't go to well."
"I was dumb. I took a ride from a man. He was driving one of those classic VW Vans from the 1960's all tricked out like something a hippie would own, peace symbols and day glo flowers. That sort of thing. I know it was stupid but but he looked good and he seemed nice, not creepy at all or anything. And I was feeling horny."
"What did he do to you?"
"What do you think he did? He raped me right in the back of his groovy VW Van. I was a virgin. It hurt real bad and I was so scared. I tried to get away but he was too strong. When he did me I bleed. I was scared that once he finished taking his pleasure he's slit my throught and dump my body in a landfull somewhere. But he didn't do that. After he took it out he dried my tears and carefully cleaned the blood and seman from my butt. He said he was sorry, that he hadn't meant to rape me but that I was just so damn beauiful and such a little hottie that he couldn't control his lust. He said men could be like that. He helped me put my cloths back on and kissed my forehead like I was a little kid or something. He gave me a crisp new 100 dollar bill for my troubles and told me to stay away from strange men, that next time I might not be so lucky. Then he let me go. That was how it happened."
That was how it happened but Gordy wasn't telling everything. The boy had indeed feared for his life but the orgasm he experianced at the hands and dick of his rapist was transformative, it had lifted the boy to heather to unreached levels of ecstasy. If the man with the VW van and decided to keep Gordy as his catamite Gordy would not have resisted. Gordy had once read of another boy, a boy named Shawn Hornbeck. Shawn Hornbeck had been kidnapped and kept for years by a boy rapist. The kidnaper and rapist needed no locked doors to keep Hornbeck his prisoner. Althought he had countless opportunities Young Shawn made no attempt at escape and made no attempt to free a younger boy also taken by his rapist. When he was found at last everyone asked why young Shawn had simply walked away.
Everyone asked why but not Gordy. Gordy understood full well that with one rape a man can take possession of a boy. Gordy carried that 100 dollar bill in his wallet but would never spend it. The one hundred dollars was all he had to remember the man by and everyday he would look at it with longing. Even now the man with the VW van owned Gordy in a way Gordy's father never would. Gordy would walk the part of town where he had been picked up by the VW man hoping to see him again. He hoped to feel the man inside him once more. Gordy didn't want to leaves his home, his friends and his dad. But if the VW man returned to claim the boy he would not resist. Gordy would cry for the life he left behind but he would rejoice to be owned by a man who could give him such unequaled pleasure.
"You liked being raped didn't you?" the man in the park said, "I can see it in your eyes."
"Yes it was fun," Gordy admitted. With that the man in the park pulled out a tranquilizer gun and shot the youth.
When Gordy awoke he found that he was naked a tied to a castration table in a hospital room. His legs bound and held up and apart leaving his genitals fully exposed and vulnerable. He saw no one but could hear voices. Soon a man in surgical scubs stepped into his field of view and said, "Hi Gordy, I'm Dr. Cranston and in just a bit I'll be taking you in to surgery for your opperation.
Gordy was flabbergasted. The Dr. was the man from the VW Van. "You," Gordy said, "You."
"Yes me, the good doctor replied. "I was the man who picked you up in the VW. I was the one who took your cute little cherry. But there was more. Your father heird me to teach you a lesson about personal safety but you would not learn I told you that you needed to stay away from strange men and that next time you might not be so lucky. I'm sorry you didn't take that advice. Instead you went out to play freelance and that is why you are here now."
Then someone else entered the room. It was Gordy's dad! He stepped up tp Gordy standing right between the helpless youngster's spread legs.
"Dad get me out of here," the youngster sobbed. "I'm sorry I played freelance."
"Sorry doesn't cut it now kiddo," his dad said. "You should have taken the penectomy when you could have but now, after how you have acted we have no chose. You'll be getting a full nullification with a prostate removal. It's the only way to keep you safe and out of trouble."
