All my life I have picked up strays, both four and two legged. I seem to have more maternal instincts than the vast majority of natal females I have known. Since I transitioned years ago I have sort of informally adopted a number of young trans girls at risk. Some have worked out beautifully and others, well, I have been robbed and assaulted. Several acknowledge that they wouldn’t be alive, were it not for me, a fact my therapist reminds me of when I get too suicidal.

One I have known, and she has worked for me, for seven years, transitioning from a rather dumpy young man just out of the military, to an anorexic drop dead beautiful trans girl. And like a lot of trans girl she wants to try sex work. Tonight she put up her first ad on a TS escort board, one of Craigslist successors, and she asked for a month off because she has an offer from someone who wants to fly her down to LA to make a porn film. She had talked about doing porn before and I was able to put her in contact with a legit porn producer, but nothing came of it. This offer came out of the blue from her ad on Fetlife.

I find myself totally conflicted. I am sure that there are trans women who do not have problems with their self image/self esteem, but I doubt there are very many. And someone being willing to pay for our services is a huge validation. And porn even more so. So I understand the allure. (Besides, since the movie, we all have fantasies about getting picked up by Richard Gere and driving the hot red Lotus) (I admit I would probably kill to have a little of that attention) But I also know the danger, particularly of escorting and I worry about the temptations that often go with that job. I have lost too many to the depths of addiction.

Over the years I have known quite a few sex workers, have met Buck Angel and Annie Sprinkle. I have no huge moral qualms about it, but having someone I love doing it scares me.

Transward

Wow, Transward, Annie Sprinkle...Love that woman..I haven't seen that name in print for many years...She's such a little wacko...Is she doing well?

drag n fly

Those are definitely maternal instincts working, transward. (Sorry, but I couldn't find a "mother hen" smiley.) It's very difficult to shepherd someone through the difficult times, then allow them to take risks for their own potential benefit. I'd guess you've done an excellent job of caring for her, and impressed more upon her than you might imagine. Please keep in touch with her, and let us know how she does. Despite being such a cliche, there actually are many young women who help pay their way for a few years by dancing in strip clubs. They manage to stay off the drugs and alcohol by keeping their ultimate goal in mind and never wavering from it.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:04 am Wow, Transward, Annie Sprinkle...Love that woman..I haven't seen that name in print for many years...She's such a little wacko...Is she doing well?

drag n fly

It's been a number of years since I met her, but I believe my brother still has contacts with her. Her web site is still up and going strong http://anniesprinkle.org/. For those unfamiliar with her a sample of her writings.

Forty Reasons Why Whores Are My Heroes

Whores have the ability to share their most private and sensitive body parts with total strangers.

Whores have good senses of humor.

Whores challenge sexual mores.

Whores are playful.

Whores are tough.

Whores have careers based on giving pleasure.

Whores are creative.

Whores are adventurous and dare to live dangerously.

Whores teach people how to be better lovers.

Whores are multi-cultured and multi-gendered.

Whores give excellent advice and help people with their personal problems.

Whores have fun.

Whores wear exciting clothes.

Whores have patience and tolerance for people that other people could never manage to put up with.

Whores make lonely people less lonely.

Whores are independent.

Whores teach people how to have safer sex.

Whores are a tradition.

Whores are hot and hip.

Whores are free spirits.

Whores relieve millions of people of unwanted stress and tension.

Whores heal.

Whores endure in the face of fierce prejudice.

Whores make good money.

Whores always have a job.

Whores are sexy and erotic.

Whores have special talents other people just don't have. Not everyone has what it takes to be a whore.

Whores are interesting people with lots of exciting life stories.

Whores get laid a lot.

Whores help people explore their sexual desires.

Whores explore their own sexual desires.

Whores are not afraid of sex.

Whores hustle.

Whores sparkle.

Whores are entertaining.

Whores have the guts to wear very big wigs.

Whores are not ashamed to be naked.

Whores help the handicapped.

Whores make their own hours.

Whores are rebelling against the absurd, patriarchal, sex-negative laws against their profession and are fighting for the legal right to receive financial compensation for their valuable work.

Do you have what it takes to be a whore?

Transward

does she have a cellphone ?

If not buy her a prepaid Tracphone or other cheapy.

You can call her, she can call you. And when the time

comes you can add some more minutes.

If she has a car you might consider a AAA membership.

Like you I've had a lot of contact with sex workers and porn. I've been a customer of hundreds, have friends who have done it and also pimped or madamed or drove them, I've been in two porn movies and produced half a dozen.

The problem is that while it is possible to do sex work from a position of empowerment, it is rare (in fact I never saw it). Every girl and T-girl I knew in those businesses was broken in some way, even if they put on a really tough, independent exterior.

The drug addiction rate is really, really high. That in itself is devastating.

Then there is the actual danger. Every sex worker gets raped and robbed eventually. Guys in general, even the "nice" ones, harbor a violent tendency. And once they are cruising for girls, especially often boozed up, they can act on the impulse to be violent for any number of purposes: either get rough sex (if that is their kink), to seek out a perverse revenge (due to their guilt at seeking pay-for-sex), due to conflicted homophobia (they're f*cking a T-girl and then suddenly hate themselves and get violent), or out of simple malice and greed (they realize they can just get the sex and then take their money back by force).

I'm a nice guy, but I'm always well armed. I can guarantee I always had a gun with me when I met a girl. I can guarantee the bad guys are armed just as well.

And then there is the issue of the diseases. The saddest thing was that EVERY girl I ever was with would do unprotected sex. They always said they wouldn't, but then I would say "oh, sorry that's what I was looking for, I'll give you $20 for your trouble but I'm going to find someone else" and they'd always give in with a token "well, you look clean" -- despite the fact I'd often be on a "hooker binge" and they'd be the third girl I'd have had unprotected sex with that day (without a shower in between). Yeah, obviously I'm a sad case myself risking my beautiful life for a quick thrill. We did the same thing on the porn sets -- some young amateur would come in, say that she wanted to use protection and we'd say "sorry, we can find another girl who won't". They had no power to stick to their safety rules.

Anyway, I know you already know all these issues. You also know that when a troubled person gets their mind set on doing something like this that trying to stop them will just distance them. The best thing you can do is provide a safe place, some kind advice, and be a friend -- so long as they don't take advantage of your friendship. Pretty much you can only be a witness and it is up to them whether they spiral downwards, find some steady state, or pull back out of it.

But really the concept of a well-adjusted woman simply deciding to be a sex worker and doing it while maintaining emotional and physical well-being is simply a myth. Even the high-class girls were fundamentally broken.

Perhaps the worst thing is that the girls had trouble ever finding a real relationship. Guys just become money objects, and sex just becomes a job, and any guys around those industries are extremely sleazy and abusive.