Hi, I'm curious to know more

[catharsis (imported)]

Hello, I am an 18 year old male who is curious about castration as a means of achieving what I have seen called "eunuch calm". I'll get more into that after my introduction.

I learned the concept of being a Eunuch from a fantasy series I read as a young(er) child called "The Mallorean". The character was a servant of a Queen, but what struck me deep was the fact this character could brush off the temptations of women as if blowing an eyelash off his finger.

As I taught myself how to sing the last few years, a concept called a castrati caught my eye, furthering my research into Eunuchs. Interesting stuff, castrati's are.

Back to the point, I'd like to know a few things about this "Eunuch Calm" concept. Do any of you think you have experienced or have it? What is it like? From what I've researched, it seems like castrated men might actually become more irritable and less calm, but this probably isn't every case.

Why am I so interested? I guess it's because I fear myself and what my sexual drive urges me to do. I find myself being obsessed with maintaining facades with women for the sole purpose of having sex, and then letting it all crash down on them, trying to hurt them emotionally. I don't know why this excites me so much, but it is hard to get away from.

And since I have the veil of anonymity, I might as well tell the whole truth. I have never done these things, but oh do my urges make me want to. I have this wanting to tie down and strangle women, and have my way with them. For some reason hearing painful cries gets me going.

As for sexuality, I am bi-sexual, but lean heavily towards women. Only a few men have caught my eye, but I've never the chance to act on it. This doesn't bother me so much as what was mentioned earlier. There is more I am frightened of, but I would rather not talk about it.

I have no idea if I will ever act on these urges, but I'm afraid one day I might. They are wrong according to my moral standards, but why does it feel so right?

As my username suggests, I am looking for a way to purge these urges. I have played with the idea of castration for quite a while, and I do not lean towards the "do it" or "not do it" side. I would like to know the opinion of those who have done it, since I am so used to the opinion of those who wouldn't.

I would love to have a "calm" or clear mind, not tortured by these thoughts I entertain unwillingly. I want to be able to think with my brain more so than my dick, so to speak.

Studying Buddhist philosophy has not helped, nor has usage of LSD or Psilocybin Cubensis. The latter two actually work, but only for the short term.

A few things I would like to know about the physical aspect of castration are

-I'm leaving for the Air Force soon, I probably can't have this done whilst on active duty right? I can't find information on it.

-bone loss, I do not want this to happen. I would need HRT, correct?

-does HRT help combat the weight gain?

-if on HRT does this "Eunuch Calm" disappear?

I'll probably have more to talk/ask about, and I am looking forward to getting to know you all. Hopefully I will not be shunned and will actually be offered help... I feel it is needed.

Friendly chat is always nice, as well. Thanks guys.

[bestofboth (imported)]

Welcome here, catharsis!

Yours is an interesting case, and it is very responsible behavior that you ponder about some "cure" for your urges. Admittedly, most people have sometimes "not quite normal" sexual fantasies, but with violent tendencies it would be better to be careful. Especially if you are already obsessed with trying to hurt women emotionally. A man´s libido is a dangerous beast, and not easily controlled; there is always the danger that emotional cruelty will no longer be enough, that fantasies of strangling someone are not sufficient any more.

Do not travel along this road, it may end in disaster! It would be best if you seek professional advice, since fantasies as these may slip into psychopathological behavior, and you can do nothing against it. Don´t get me wrong, I don´t want to accuse you of something or call you nuts - but, rational as we may be, emotions can be overwhelming.

A psychotherapist may help you to take the right steps; probably, simple psychotherapy will not be enough, but combined with a prescription of androgen blockers to lower your T levels, it should be possible to achieve what you want without taking too drastic measures rashly.

But I really recommend you to do something soon - better safe than sorry

[gjvr2001 (imported)]

Hi Catharsis. I would like to advise you that the mind is not necessarily able to be controlled by castration. I suffered from extremely low Testosterone of values equal to a eunuch. My mind still wanted sex but my body didn't. I would call the eunuch calm a eunuch frustration. Lowering your T levels thru castration will probably make you incapable of sexual release even if you take Testosterone replacement therapy. You will undoubtedly experience hot flashes, gynocomastia, weight gain, low energy, impotence, memory loss, bone problems, depression and generally feel like crap. I am on TRT and even after getting my T levels back to normal or above normal range have not been able to regain my libido and sexual function to anywhere close to what it used to be. The result is extreme frustration. The problem is my mind still wants to be like I once was. The issues you seem to harbor seem to be more in your mind than your body. I would encourage you to not seek castration but if you feel you want to try to experience the "Eunuch Calm", try the anti androgen chemical castration for a while as most of the times it is reversible. I doubt if it will change your thoughts as you wish but it is at least reversible. You might even find that the thoughts may increase instead of decrease. I commend you for excercising self control to prevent the enactment of these fantasies. I don't place a lot of faith in psychologists but if you want to spend some money, feel free to see if you can find one that is able to work with you. Good luck.

[catharsis (imported)]

Hi Catharsis. I would like to advise you that the mind is not necessarily able to be controlled by castration. I suffered from extremely low Testosterone of values equal to a eunuch. My mind still wanted sex but my body didn't. I would call the eunuch calm a eunuch frustration. Lowering your T levels thru castration will probably make you incapable of sexual release even if you take Testosterone replacement therapy. You will undoubtedly experience hot flashes, gynocomastia, weight gain, low energy, impotence, memory loss, bone problems, depression and generally feel like crap. I am on TRT and even after getting my T levels back to normal or above normal range have not been able to regain my libido and sexual function to anywhere close to what it used to be. The result is extreme frustration. The problem is my mind still wants to be like I once was. The issues you seem to harbor seem to be more in your mind than your body. I would encourage you to not seek castration but if you feel you want to try to experience the "Eunuch Calm", try the anti androgen chemical castration for a while as most of the times it is reversible. I doubt if it will change your thoughts as you wish but it is at least reversible. You might even find that the thoughts may increase instead of decrease. I commend you for excercising self control to prevent the enactment of these fantasies. I don't place a lot of faith in psychologists but if you want to spend some money, feel free to see if you can find one that is able to work with you. Good luck.

I was afraid that sort of thing would happen. I guess if anything, I will just have to try some anti-androgen medicine to see what comes of it.

Self-control has worked so far, it won't hurt to keep exercising it.

Oh, depression too? I already have a deep depression that hits me every few weeks, I doubt this would help me, and I definitely don't want to make it worse. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep on my search of finding peace.

Thanks for the help guys, I welcome all of your thoughts.

[JessicaH (imported)]

If you think there is a real danger of acting on your dark fantsies, you need to evaluate the risks/costs/benefits of either acting them out or living with the consequences.

I think it's common if not normal for many males to have fantasies of rape and having their way with with a woman if she wants it or not. But there is a difference in a kinky desire and the psychopathic act of damaging someone so deep for a few minutes of twisted passion.

I hope you can find a solution to what torments you so that you do not become the tormenter...

Good luck!

[littletits (imported)]

You must remember that once you are made into a Eunuch, you will live the rest of your life as a Eunuch. You will have ceased to be a man. There is no going back.

We are neither men or women. Without testerosone you will lose all interest in and ability to have sex. You will find that these urges you are worried about will most probably dissapear.You will be totally sterile. Your body will undergo startling changes and this will happen quickly. You will lose upper body strength. You will have some breast growth. Your bum will take on the shape of a females and you will be faced with a lifelong battle with you weight. Your skin will become smooth like a womans. You willl have hot flashes and are at a risk of serious depression.True injections of T will stop or reverse some of these but I assure you that you will never go back to what you are now. On T is a roller coaster ride and I had to stop. You may never with all the T in the world be ever able to get erect and orgasm again but you will have the raging libido of a sixteen year old with no way to satisfy yourself sexually.That is unbearable frustration. Believe me I have been there. I became a Eunuch by accident and it took some time to adjust and accept that I am a Eunuch. If you are willing to accept thhe consequences of this good but before you do get some councelling to sort out your problems. Castration is not the cure.

[Cainanite (imported)]

I have some insight into the "Eunuch Calm". I have a condition called Hypogonadism. Long story short; I go through intermittent periods of extremely low testosterone. These periods typically last several weeks, to months at a time. Essentially my testicles will produce T reliably for short periods of time, then basically shut down for a while. It has been an on again off again roller-coaster ride my whole life.

The biggest thing you need to know is that there is a transition phase, when testosterone leaves your body. During this transition phase, you will feel irritable, depressed, angry. You can have hot flashes, and a host of other problems. My mother once noticed how I would go through short periods like this and said it was like I was a woman going through PMS. This is not entirely untrue. Chemically, it is very difficult on the psyche. As I have gone through this my whole life, my body has become rather used to the experience, and the transition phases are usually very short for me. When I was younger, they were longer. As I age, the periods of low testosterone are growing in length, and the transition time has shortened.

Once I am past the transition time, I generally feel very centered and calm. I feel much more myself. It is much like the moments right after ejaculation, where the body is in a state of calm, and no longer ruled by hormones. Where the body is not ruled by the penis, or sexual desires. Though I might not be as focused during this time, I am generally much more productive and happy.

Speaking with many on this forum, I realize that for someone who has always had reliable levels of testosterone in their system, the transition time from sexual male to eunuch calm will be much longer and more harrowing. A lot of people post castration, who desired castration and the eunuch calm, don't make it through this period without resorting to HRT to combat the effects. It can be nasty.

The bone density issue is one that scares me. For the moment I don't have any problems. The little bit of testosterone I do get has kept at least that from being a problem for me. As I age, though, the periods of low, or non-existent testosterone might make that a problem. As I mentioned, those low T periods are getting longer.

Weight gain has been a problem for me my whole life. My problem started when I was twelve years old, and has steadily gotten worse. Pictures of me from that time show a clear progression of weight gain at the hips and breasts. I carry almost all my weight around my middle section (thighs, pelvis, butt). Finding the drive and determination to exercise for me is very difficult, especially when I am at my lowest T levels.

As with everything you will read, the answer is; "Your mileage may vary." Different people react differently. Mucking around with the chemical soup that is your body is a very tricky proposition. Before you make any decisions, there are a lot of testosterone blocking chemicals out there that you could try before you make a life altering decision.

Whatever you decide, do it safely, and think it through first. My guess is that castration is not really for you, but really only you can answer that. Getting info here is a great place to start.

[Losethem (imported)]

A few things I would like to know about the physical aspect of castration are

-I'm leaving for the Air Force soon, I probably can't have this done whilst on active duty right? I can't find information on it.

-bone loss, I do not want this to happen. I would need HRT, correct?

-does HRT help combat the weight gain?

-if on HRT does this "Eunuch Calm" disappear?

I'll probably have more to talk/ask about, and I am looking forward to getting to know you all. Hopefully I will not be shunned and will actually be offered help... I feel it is needed..

I was in the Army and not the Air Force but I remember while I was there (and desiring to be castrated) that I read in one of the army service manuals that the "...unexplained loss/absence of one or both testicles..." was a disqualifying condition. I read that as disqualified from service either as a civilian enlisting or as a present service member that suddenly came up missing his balls.

This was back in the late 1990's. I'm not sure if the Air Force has any such prohibitions or if they did if they still exist, but you could download health related manuals and find out. Obviously, it's not something you can ask the doctors and nurses at MEPS about.

I held off having myself castrated while I was in the army, but I did get it done about 5 years after I was discharged. I wanted to make sure I was off my post active duty reserve status before I did it.

So, my recommendation is that you do one of two things:

1. Don't get castrated until after you've completed your service

2. Don't go into the service and go ahead and get castrated now if you're wanting it badly.

Personally, given what you've said I would probably go with option 2. You're describing that you're basically wanting to rape someone and if you do that while you're in the service your punishment is going to be much more severe than if you did it as a civilian. That said, I wouldn't want you doing that at all, just saying... If you do decide not to go in and instead pursue having yourself castrated, if you are wanting to diminish or kill your sex drive you will NOT be able to take testosterone HRT.

Back to the military angle... If you're in some sort of delayed enlistment program, read the contract they gave you carefully. If you don't want to go look to see if the contract you have in your hands is full of words like, "Should, could, may" and lacks much in the way of "will, must, mandatory".

If you have a lot of "should" in there, you don't have to go. One of the little things they do when you go and "sign-up" for delayed enlsitment is make you think you have to go, fact is you don't have to go unless you show up to get on the bus/plane/etc. At any point before you go back to MEPS and they print out more paperwork for you to sign, you can walk away.

--LT

[justjustin (imported)]

If I were a woman, that would scare me. It scares me now, I would not want to be strangled for sex. Lots of dogs, cats, cattle, horses are castrated. We are just animals as well, and if other animals don't lose too much bone and muscle, why should humans? Most race-horses are geldings. They still win races. Horses that jump at the Olympics are geldings. I don't think people should over-state the drawbacks of something we routinely do to other animals.

[raymar2020 (imported)]

I am really surprised at the regulars who have posted on this thread. It seems to me that the first and best advice is to seek counseling. There are root causes for all sorts of fantasy fixations that people have. At age 18 , its a bit young to be making a life changing decision. While castration might well abate these latent desires, its a rather extreme measure to deal with what sounds much more like a mental issue.

I am certainly supportive of anyone seeking to remove their testicles, as I am not a fan of them for anyone, but in this case I believe that some serious counseling is more than indicated.

As to the entry to the service, I would advise that you postpone that as well. Timing is everything. You already are showing some signs of an unhealthy state of mind, and adding the stress of boot camp, and the enforced rigors of military life may make that worse.

Go and see a skilled and competant sex therapist, and be HONEST. You may find that with a little soul searching, there is a simple root cause for these feelings that you have, and that they can be abated without resorting to castration.

Raymar