Help, I need some advice. Actually, I would like to know others stories of how they approached this subject with their significant other. I’m terrified to even broach the subject. I can’t imagine life without him, hell; I don’t even want to attempt to imagine life without him.

My husband and I met twelve years ago, dated for two years, shared an apartment for six years, bought a house four years ago, legally married three years ago and … well, basically built a life together over those twelve years.

Some of this I've written before, so please bear with me. Just before we met, I connected with a transgender church. Just another attempt to “investigate” what else was going on in my head. I never told my husband the real reason I had connected with this particular church. To be frank, I don’t remember what I told him. Once we met, I put these thoughts on the back burner once again. Much like what I went through with the gay issue, it keeps creeping forward … demanding attention.

I’ve come to remember as a kid not wanting my “G-d given equipment,” wanting, as someone else on the board said, “girl parts” down there instead. I remember one time my mother caught me with a bathrobe belt (I think) tied tight around everything. Had loads of fun trying to talk myself out of that one, but that’s another story.

Every time I’d look at this issue I’d come to the same conclusion, to get those parts I’d have to live as a female. Something I didn’t want. It was only after an internet search landed me here and I read someone else’s story did I realize I could have the “parts” I wanted and live as a male.

Please, how did everyone else handle this with their partner?

Phew, difficult question - and I don´t think, anyone here can give you better advice than you could find by yourself. No one here knows you, your partner and your relationship as well as you do.

But your desire seems to be a very strong one, so pushing it aside will eventually not work any longer, and you will be compelled to take steps, perhaps rash ones.

Better, start slowly but now.

Tell your partner about your thoughts about being castrated.

Do some roleplaying around this topic.

Try chemical castration.

Try taking female hormones.

Find a surgeon for castration.

At any point, you may find a situation you are comfortable with - and that´s fine, you don´t have to go the whole way. And giving your partner the opportunity to slowly adjust to something new will help a lot. It will be much better than to drop the whole load of news on him at once.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the very best!

I appreciate your input. Please don't take anything I'm about to say as anything but my own frustration because what you say makes sense.

The logical side of me recognizes the steps you've listed and their importance. I'm stuck at opening up to him about this which is why I'd also like to hear how others approached this issue with their respective partners and their outcomes. I'm hoping others stories will give me ideas that I'm more comfortable with than "Hey babe, we need to talk. I want to have my nuts removed, my penis inverted, my sac used for my labia and take Testosterone to remain male in every other way."