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19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 5:39 am
by musicians_fury69 (imported)
all my life i feel as if i had been gay but never really realized it until recently
after having a comming out to people i know
all my female friends told me ''we knew all along but im glad you are out now'' or ''about time now can we go shopping?''
only one of my guy friends seems to be okay with it saying ''its okay bro i trust you and i figure youll find a great guy one day''
my parents are both very religious and believe it to be a sin and want me to ''change my ways or pack up''
this isnt even the weird part
i find myself (not too often but still) looking at women
not like as a sex object
just like as ''dang she is pretty!''
HELP???
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:28 am
by Ed (imported)
Hey buddy, welcome. I want you to consdier that one life does not fit into little boxes on a form, __ gay __ straight, please check one. We are all different. Take your time, be safe and don't hesitate to ask for help.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:47 am
by tugon (imported)
Enjoy all life has to offer. If you enjoy men I hope you meet a nice one. If on occasion you are attracted to women enjoy. You are young and life is full of surprises.
What worries me is your parents bias based on religion. If you are not financially ready to be on your own I would try to play along as you made plans on where you can live and a job to support yourself. I am not saying to deny who you are but I would not flaunt it at home. They know and they will need to deal with it. Hopefully in a positive way. Good luck and keep us posted.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:04 am
by Dave (imported)
Just because you are gay doesn't mean that you never consider a woman pretty or attractive.
I think you are still in the fog of youth and confused as to exactly who and what you are. Be patient.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 3:02 pm
by musicians_fury69 (imported)
Dave (imported) wrote: Sat May 07, 2011 11:04 am
Just because you are gay doesn't mean that you never consider a woman pretty or attractive.
I think you are still in the fog of youth and confused as to exactly who and what you are. Be patient.
idk what i am anymore
i am lost to the point of suicide
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 3:55 pm
by Dave (imported)
Then you need to find someone you can talk to.
A doctor or a therapist or a counselor or a good friend.
A fellow I know disappeared last November and didn't surface until January. he had suicidal thoughts and went to a hospital for treatment. I don't think that you are that desperate as he was on several medications but you need to find someone.
Is there a GLAAD or Gay support group anywhere near you? They might be able to help.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:42 pm
by evenealy (imported)
I had to choose between my family and my transsexuality. Later, I woke up from a coma trying to commit suicide, It took me two weeks to learn how to walk and breathe at the same time. I was around your age when I did it. I hope you dont choose this path. Instead take the advice others have given you and reach out to someone you can talk to.
Nobody really wants to die, they just want a way to end their suffering.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 4:03 pm
by musicians_fury69 (imported)
every time i reach out and a friend is trying to help me
my own parents will make some gay bashing comment and it will send me over the edge
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 5:11 pm
by Dave (imported)
musicians_fury69 (imported) wrote: Mon May 09, 2011 4:03 pm
every time i reach out and a friend is trying to help me
my own parents will make some gay bashing comment and it will send me over the edge
There is a point in everyone's life where you take your life completely into your hands. Sometimes it happens early in life and sometimes it is late. Some people never let go of their mummy and daddy. It's a turning point. It's more than growing up and moving out. At some point everyone becomes responsible for themselves and no one else has any control over their lives.
That's what you have to do with your parents. It's hard but it is simply, they do no have the power over you to make you feel bad or drive your friends away.
Your turning point is happening young. Ir's harder when it happens young and harder when you have to step away and say to your parents "You are doing damage to me and I have to say NO and stop listening."
This is not easy. This will not be a "pleasant and wonderful" time for a few months. However, take if from me, you will find that you are happier and not suicidal. There are many hard things that must be done. You have to take control of your own life and say to anyone (Even parents) I am my own master and I will do what is good for me.
Re: 19 year old gay male here (help me?)
Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:24 pm
by foxytaur (imported)
Gee and I thought I had some issues.I'm with you there bud.Parents are ultra catholic,homophobic as hell, and Hispanic (males can be very "machista",think of themselves superior to women and many occasions beat the @45% out of them).
I'm doing the best I can to finish college but just know you can't change yer parents views.If they're real "oldies" gotta know they grew up in a totally different generation.The best you can do is finish your college degree, get out of there and live life the way you want it.I got 2 more years myself of this crap
You can't change people but you can find a way around them.the journey won't be easy but is rewarding.