• Am I leaving the castration too late?

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 1:22 am**

I've got a very long story I'm writing, where castration isn't mentioned until page 33. I'm currently at page 65, but the castration hasn't happened yet. Though it is at the center of the plot, I'm wondering how long the readers on this site are willing to read into a story, before the thing they are waiting for actually happens.

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 1:24 am**

I feel the preceding pages are vital to understanding the characters and their world. Each step is critical to the whys and hows of what is to come.

This isn't a story where castration is just a passing mention. It is central to the plot. For good or ill, all the characters will be affected by it. However, it is turning into a bloody novel.

My question is, will anybody read a story that requires such investment, before castration becomes central?

I've been going over the archive, and almost all the stories lead with the castration. Very few go over a few pages of exposition before it becomes the main focus. Am I just being too ambitious?

For those who are interested, my story is along the lines of C van D's Simon series, or the San Carlos Island stories, but set in a universe much more like this one, and present day. I've tried to keep everything as realistic as possible, as though this could be happening right now, just next door.

It deals with a prepubescent boy discovering his body. At the same time, he is also trying to uncover the secret his parents are keeping from him. In the story there are shocking secrets, innocent sexual discovery, humiliation, pain, friendship and love. All culminating in the castration of the main character. It is a story I intend to give a happy ending.

The story can get a bit graphic, and is full of adult themes, but it is written as it would be seen through the innocent eyes of a ten year old boy.

Would all of that be enough to keep you reading until the castration finally takes place?

I am willing to share some pages of what I have written with interested parties. I'm just a little worried It won't be accepted if I don't lead with what everyone is expecting.

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 4:44 am**

One of the story mods will answer you more correctly, but I think that in general, as long as the theme of castration is present and a major plot element, you should be okay.

I look forward to reading it!

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 8:49 am**

Of course, many readers are looking for a quick wank off story and won't read such a long story, but I assume you're writing it as much for yourself as for them. If you're on page 65 and haven't got to the castration yet, I assume you have many pages to go yet. Don't submit it all in one piece, and only submit one piece each day. A moderator will have to read through it before allowing it to be posted, and if you've submitted a book, he may throw up his hands and say, "Screw this."

You mention exposition: you don't want to spend pages and pages setting the story without some kind of action going on; and that might not what you mean by exposition in this case. I generally interpret exposition as back story or something you do before getting to the meat of the story. That might not be what you mean.

I'd suggest that you submit the first part of the story, even if you aren't ready for it to be posted, and I'll take a look at it. I'll be better able to offer suggestions then.

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 10:49 am**

I agree with Slammr in that you should submit this in chapters and not in one huge block. If people read the first few chapters and get into the story, they will stick around for the rest.

I also agree that most that come here are looking for a quick wank and spurt, but those are not the ones that will be interested in your story. People wanting to read about the emotions, process, and interactions with others, will be the people who read it.

--LT

Posted: **Thu May 05, 2011 11:11 am**

Losethem (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 10:49 am I agree with Slammr in that you should submit this in chapters and not in one huge block. If people read the first few chapters and get into the story, they will stick around for the rest.

I also agree that most that come here are looking for a quick wank and spurt, but those are not the ones that will be interested in your story. People wanting to read about the emotions, process, and interactions with others, will be the people who read it.

--LT

If you look at hit counts, a one-off story might get 10000 hits; a long story posted a chapter at a time can average 3000-4000 hits by the end of the story, so, if the story is good, you'll have people stick around to the end. I've written long stories with a similar theme and had people follow the story to the end. Sander writes similar, long, stories, posted a chapter at a time. I just checked the last completed story he posted and he had almost 4000 hits on the last chapter. One difference between his stories and the one you proposed, possibly - won't know until I see your story - is that something happens in each of his chapters, and there's usually enough sex - maybe too much, depending on one's point of view - or castrations to keep readers coming back. That doesn't mean you need either sex or castrations to keep the reader interested, but the story does need to be compelling in one way or the other. I think the reader needs to care about or identify with the main character.

Posted: **Mon May 09, 2011 11:44 pm**

Good recommendations in this thread...especially about sending it in chapter by chapter. Hinting at the castration event as you go along is good too.

Incidentally Paolo's awesome "Immortal Castrati" (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/I/newea_553719Immortal.htm), is fraught with character development and other sub-themes while castration still remains central {definitely a 'must read'...even if it's not October!}. Other excellent stories with 'exposition': "Gator" (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/G/ea_222539gator__e.htm) {very well written...but oh so dark!}, Il Musico's "Street Boy" (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/S/newea_483618The_Stre.htm) and "Tribute" (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/T/ea_141320tribute_.htm) by Pueros {the history lesson is included at no extra charge!}

Anyway...from what you have written above, your story looks to be quite intriguing!!

Tad

Posted: **Tue May 10, 2011 3:22 am**

Cainanite (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 1:24 am I feel the preceding pages are vital to understanding the characters and their world. Each step is critical to the whys and hows of what is to come.

This isn't a story where castration is just a passing mention. It is central to the plot. For good or ill, all the characters will be affected by it. However, it is turning into a bloody novel.

My question is, will anybody read a story that requires such investment, before castration becomes central?

I've been going over the archive, and almost all the stories lead with the castration. Very few go over a few pages of exposition before it becomes the main focus. Am I just being too ambitious?

For those who are interested, my story is along the lines of C van D's Simon series, or the San Carlos Island stories, but set in a universe much more like this one, and present day. I've tried to keep everything as realistic as possible, as though this could be happening right now, just next door.

It deals with a prepubescent boy discovering his body. At the same time, he is also trying to uncover the secret his parents are keeping from him. In the story there are shocking secrets, innocent sexual discovery, humiliation, pain, friendship and love. All culminating in the castration of the main character. It is a story I intend to give a happy ending.

The story can get a bit graphic, and is full of adult themes, but it is written as it would be seen through the innocent eyes of a ten year old boy.

Would all of that be enough to keep you reading until the castration finally takes place?

I am willing to share some pages of what I have written with interested parties. I'm just a little worried It won't be accepted if I don't lead with what everyone is expecting.

Cainanite,

People will read it if you can hold their interest.

It sounds like you've gotten off to a good start, even if it *is* a bit wordy...

I'd *definitely* agree that your best bet is to submit the story in chapters! I don't know how much you'll have to rewrite, but if you think of each chapter as a story in and of itself, but also as part of a unified whole, that'll probably get you where you need to be.

One more story that I'd recommend is "The New Neighbor Boy"; it's a *very* intense story, and *every* part - no matter how wild - makes you wonder what's going to come next!

That's how you keep your readers' interest; keep them guessing about what comes next!

You say you've got 65 pages already; how much could that be edited? Is there stuff in there that can be explained more simply (shorter) without sacrificing any of the story? A long story can seem shorter if it flows in a way that pulls the reader into it!

I'm looking forward to seeing your story!

-YPA

Am I leaving the castration too late?

Am I leaving the castration too late?

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