A new wannabe

[jako9999 (imported)]

Hi all this is my first post I have hated my nuts for a very long time. I can't belaive how many people are like me out there this site is a great life line.

I am married and have children so I needed them, but now I wish they were gone and my scrotum. I have been reading for sometime as I am unable to talk to anyone about this and its my secret. I have read a lot about the alcohol but i'm not sure I can do it and there is so many different doses, times and where and how deep to push the needle in that I'm a bit lost.What I don't understand as well is can they just died of natural causes and that's how you can get away with it? Does the doctor not ask lots of questions or the specialist? Are they not sent away for testing and all is reveled? Any way is there any other way of doing it that wont show to my family or the GP? I have been to my GP a few times and said they are painful in the hope he may send me to see someone and I can push to get rid of the pain for ever but no luck.

Thanks in advance

[SplitDik (imported)]

Welcome. Yes, it is interesting and comforting to see how many share our journey.

The first thing is that after literally years of all of us here investigating methods and experimenting, the conclusion is that you pretty much have to get a doctor involved to complete a safe, full castration.

Like you said, doctors aren't going to just remove them by request so you need to either have a gender identity disorder (that is confirmed by a psychiatrist plus years of living as a woman), or you have to have significantly damaged testicles. So the main route being chosen by most here is to damage the testicles until it becomes medically necessary to have them removed. The alcohol method seems to be the best method so far as it avoids most of the pain and danger of other methods and seems to be fairly reliable.

With the doctor you then have two choices. You can "come clean" and indicate that you damaged them yourself, or you can "play dumb" and let them fret and diagnose for a while until they hopefully decide they must be removed.

If you're in a big city, the honest approach can work -- you will have to see a psychiatrist as well (because technically you are self-harming) but that isn't as bad as you might think. In a big city the doctors have literally seen it all, and you won't be as unique as you think.

But it is okay to just play dumb too. After your testicles have significant shrunk and you are sure they are significantly damaged, you just go to the doctor with a complaint either about the testicles themselves or something related (like you suspect your testosterone levels are low, or that you are having sexual difficulties). Then let the doctor proceed to discover the problem, which usually means determining that the testosterone is low, and ultrasound to show the testicles are damaged or atrophied. At this point, a smart doctor might ask you about it, but you have the right to just continue playing dumb, or make up a story about how they were really painful for a while and you should have had them checked out but were too embarrassed. A competent doctor will eventually decide to remove them if they are fully dead, because it is dangerous to leave necrotic material. Anyway, even if they don't remove them, you are already castrated.

The only further advice I'd give on the "playing dumb" strategy is don't go to the doctor until you are really sure they are dead. Testicles are actually really resilient and if they are not totally dead the doctor might not do anything -- and then if you damage them further the doctor will notice. For example, I have lots of damage which shows up as big holes (hypoechoic areas) in ultrasounds and always causes a lot of worry in the doctors but never enough for them to even suggest castration.

Other things I would suggest, is maybe see a psychiatrist first. Desire for castration is technically self-harm and also body dysmorphia (a mis-match between your mentality and your body). While we here believe that desire for castration can be legitimate, if the desire is based on other issues (sometimes simple depression, or paraphilia, guilt over closeted homosexuality, anger from abuse, etc.) you should really deal with that instead. Taking certain SSRIs for example can totally eliminate desire for castration in some percentage of people.

Chemical castration isn't that hard to try either. While a bit scary, it is fairly easy to obtain the drugs online.

[sduyck_2000 (imported)]

sorry ..didnt notice you are in england

google.... dr fara gcrs....

click the procedures link on the page and sroll down on the left

i would keep your scrotum...after almost 20 years as a eunuch ..i find my scrotum gives me much pleasure..it would have been a huge mistake to have it removed

I have been around many women ..they enjoy the look and feel of the empty scrotum..they like to play with it

As far as doctors go ...i have found female doctors never comment..they just go about the job at hand..and a few of my doctors are fasinated to have a castrated man as a patient

[Caith721 (imported)]

Another nice thing about ethanol injections is that as the testicles shrink and harden, the cords retract quite a bit, leaving you with a pseudo-empty sack most of the time.

[jako9999 (imported)]

Hi all thanks for that it is something I am going to have to think about and gain courage to do so if I used normal vodka at 80% proof what would the quantity be and how often and how long would it all take?

If I did one dose then stopped what happens do they recover or is the damage done I only ask this because say it showed and I had to leave it sometime to keep it a secret.

Also if I went for chemical to try first what drug do I need to get hold of and how long does it take to work then how long does it last after you come off them?

Sorry to ask so many questions but you are the people who I look up to and admire for doing it.

Thanks

[DonnyMac (imported)]

Jako,

Like you I, and many here, are married. Mismatched sex drive is a common drive for castration.

Since '06 I was on chemicals -- Depo Prover then Androcur. Then in early last year did alcohol injections. Did that because my wife and I were sure we wanted it permanently and did not like the idea of taking hormones.

Check out the Ethyl Alcohol posts here. 80-proof may be too week. It seems most did the same as I and used 150-proof or more Everclear. Enen then it took about 15 injections of 1ml in each to get to my chemical castrate level.

Good luck with your voyage.

Don

[Caith721 (imported)]

Current trend seems to be 8 to 10 weekly 1.0ml to 1.5ml injections of 190 proof Everclear is required. Variability depends on your individual metabolism and physiology.

[clysmaniac (imported)]

Here is a brief overview of my experience leading to my castration. I was chemically castrated for well over 2 years getting an injection of Depo Provera every 4 weeks and 100mg/day of Spironolactone. I found my lowered testosterone was very suitable so embarked with alcohol injections to try and make it permanent. I used almost exactly half a bottle of 100 proof vodka over a period of maybe 8 months with absolutely no waste. I tried to inject 1 1/2 ml in each testicle each time but it did vary. Sometimes it would go in very easy and I could inject the whole 3 ml the syringe held into one testicle but sometimes it was painful to inject hardly any but most times each testicle got a 1 1/2 ml dose. I also kept up with the chemical castration drugs. At this point my testes were much smaller, very hard and totally numb and also stayed in the top of my scrotum almost at the level of my penis. My regular doctor discovered them during my annual physical and sent me for an ultrasound which led to an appointment with a urologist and a better ultrasound. Both asked some questions about trauma or past history but I told them I couldn't remember anything specific. The urologist then wanted to do a surgical biopsy. I had stopped doing injections a week or so before any doctor visit so there was nothing visible. He cut a piece out of my left testicle and did 4 simple needle samples from the right one and sent it to the lab. The report came back that the testicles were "atrophied and infarcted", nothing like "damaged by an unknown chemical agent" or anything overtly suspicious. He gave me 3 months to see if the condition would change so I resumed my injections but upgraded to Everclear. At the end of that period, my testosterone level was lower than before so my testes were not recovering at all and my urologist suggested that they should be removed. It took another 3 weeks or so to make all the arrangements but now I am an eunuch. After surgery, my testicles were sent to the lab just for an exam to make sure there was no cancer. I'm sure they cut them open to look but never heard any issue from that.

Anyway, I feel that this method is effective and there didn't seem to be any basis for them to determine what caused the infarction. If you have any more specific or detailed questions, drop me a PM.