This could become a fairly general sort of thread for anyone who likes to ramble.

I think that a major thing in common that members of the EA forum have, is that when we first joined, we did so because we were unhappy.

At least in some shape or form.

We joined here because we wanted to make ourselves happier - though it could also be said that this is why we do many things in our lives.

For me, the idea of being chemically castrated is something that could make me happier. And anything that can cure loneliness is something that would make me happier. So these are subjects that I look into and try to find solutions to my general failings in.

Just having companionship is NOT a cure as such. The companion needs to be worthwhile to the individual, creating great happiness in their life than sadness.

So there are worthwhile companions as well as unworthwhile ones.

I think that we look at our own lives and try to work out if we can have a worthwhile one. And the answer to this lays in the truth of whether we ourselves are worthwhile enough or not.

Don't take this stuff as entirely me though. I'm mostly just rambling.

But rambling can inspire greater thought which is good - which is positive - which can lead to greater happiness.

My aim at chemical castration (at least in some form) is not going well at present. Sure, I've only been on Spirolactone for a couple of weeks, but I would have expected it to have done something by now. As it is I'm still as horny as a toad (not sure where this phrase came from - are toads out of the ordinary horny?). All the drug has done has made me feel bad. No, not depressed. But it has given me occasional chest pains and stuff (and I'm so blaazeh about things right now that I don't even care much about something like that), and I'm meant to not even be eating many foods that are usually good for me (fruit juices, bananas, pineapple, potatoe, alcohol ), and my eating and general living habits have been bad enough as it is.

I also felt quite trippy during the first few days (which actually wasn't too bad for something different, I've never been a recreational drug user!), and just now my body is very over heated. There have possibly been other things, but I haven't bothered to think about it all too much.

I haven't even bothered to take my 100 mg yet today, though I think that I will. It just ain't doing what I want it to do - and is only giving me negative side effects, which yes, does lead to some form of sadness.

It makes me wonder - how bad (or dangerous) can Androcur be?

In the sense that it can't be too more negative than Spirolactone.

I only have enough pills to get me through to my next meeting with my doctor whilst on 100 mg, so maybe I'll come off it for a bit, then build up to a phase on 200 mg to test it out. There could of course be further negative consequences to taking more of it, but I think that more of my bad health is simply caused by myself. I need to get back to running regularly and even do some small weights sessions on a consistent basis.

I am saying all of this while I am (again) just sitting in front of my computer screen!

Happiness can also be gained by decent interaction with others - which I'm hoping to get in replies to this thread post.

I have read on another thread that a lot of EA people like pets. Animals have rarely been a major part of my life, but the idea of changing this seems to have some merit. The image of me living with a couple of dogs (I think I would have to have more than one in order for them to not only have me as company - and I wouldn't be around all the time) seems a relatively happy one. I can't exactly suddenly try this out though - I am living with my parents. Maybe I will look into getting myself a unit later this year. Personally I'd be happy with just a very small place; one without a backyard/garden. But this goes against the pet dogs idea. Maybe I could look at getting a cat instead (even though they have a completely different personality).

On another thread it was mentioned how great it is that when you come home your dog is over the moon to see you - regardless of whether this is just for the food or not. How many people on the EA see having a good pet as being a reasonably adequate substitute for not having a human companion - in the sense of adding to ones life happiness?

Like I've said, this is mostly a ramble, but I'd love to hear some replies about anything mentioned above.

From a MtF:

I'm going through the transition and have been living full time for over 2 years now. I'm also currently castrating myself via alcohol injections - though I've only done two treatments. I've seen some positive results. My sex drive is down, way down and I'm calmer. I'm at the point where I've taken the edge off. I mention this only to let you know where I am, I'm not recommending it for you as it's permenant.

This is for you, luv.

Spiro - as we MtF's call it - is about as safe as you can get. The side effects are it effects your potassium levels and it makes you pee a lot. 200 mg will give you more of an effect but 300 will not.

It is simply a testosterone blocker. It works by keeping T from binding in your blood.

Spiro is the weakest of the the anti-androgens.

The strongest is Cyprotenerone acetate - otherwise known as Androcur, Siterone, etc. It shuts the testicles down - but only as long as you're on the drug. If you want them to come back, simply stop taking. It's used to treat men that have prostate cancer.

You'll get what you want but be careful. Do your homework on it. To much can cause liver or kidney damage - though from my own personal experience you wont need that much. Start with half a pill per day and work up from there. It's a build up drug - or at least it was in my case. That is, you don't feel the effects straight away, it takes time to build in your system but once it does it should give you what you're looking for. That calming effect, it brings focus....a state of bliss.

It works so well that those of us that know we want to be permenantly castrated recommend it to those that are thinking about permenant castration. It's our way of making sure they're making the right choice. If they don't like how it feels, they can stop taking it and things will return to normal. No harm, no foul.

I'd recommend the jump to androcur but like I said, do your homework. Research everything you can about the drug. Here's a start:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyproterone

Raynestorm

raynestorm (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:00 am Spiro - as we MtF's call it - is about as safe as you can get. The side effects are it effects your potassium levels and it makes you pee a lot. 200 mg will give you more of an effect but 300 will not.

For some people spiro just does not work well, does not provide the T-blocking effects, and gives nothing but the awful side-effects (cramps! dizziness, fainting, etc.). When I first started taking it it was the greatest thing in the world! And then it began to take more and more to get me there, until finally it just stopped working with anything other than insanely high doses. 100mg twice-a-day was great at first; then I needed 100mg 3x/day; then 400mg a day even! The higher dose I took, it seemed the more my body blocked its T-blocking effects.

Also as for being as safe as you can get, a few times it made me feel like time was slowing down, like my mind was slowing down -- very scary! I guess that was from blood pressure dropping too low? Not to mention fainting and severe dizziness and blackness upon standing.

I would think cyproterone acetate would be a superior solution, but that never worked for me either, no matter how high I dosed them (may have got a bad batch maybe?). Depo-provera didn't do anything for me either. Hmmm. I think it's probably just me.

Back at'cha'all with that ramble! Bwaa!

--

Pets? My cats bring me much joy each and every day. I don't think it's an adequate substitute for human companionship, but it can enrich ones life, that's for sure.

Thanks for the rambling guys and gals.

Postatracura - do/did you have VERY high sex drive, as in far higher than even most men? Most people that I have read about on the EA who have used Androcur have had it effect their sex drive a great deal, so maybe your sex drive is just really high?

I am hoping that mine is not so high, but then again, lately I still 'like' to masturbate on most days.

In fact yesterday I did this twice!

So you have cats, but not a human partner then? Nice to know that your cats enrich your life though.

Raynestorm - Your post is pretty cool. Thanks darl. I'm trying to keep up with the "this is for you luv!"

Maybe after one month on Spiro I will stop taking it for about 2 weeks, then have another month on 100 mg, then 2 weeks on 200 mg - which will be when I run out of it. It's also when I next see my doctor. I could have a better idea by then if the drug is going to be at all useful to me for any longterm period of time (at the moment I think NOT). My thoughts right now are that at that point I would like to start on Androcur (or something similar), though I doubt my doctor will allow this just yet (he is a nice guy, but still finds it a bit difficult sometimes to comprehend the road that I've wanted to go down), and in some ways this is fair enough. I can't say for 100% certain that I want my sex drive gone on a fairly permanent basis. But right now I would like it gone, and I want to see how much inspiration I have for important facets of my life when it is no longer a factor. A main thing concerning that would be writing which I love, but at the moment seem to have no desire to commit any serious effort towards long term projects. I have many (in my humble opinion!) great book ideas, but at present I just want instant gratification with my writing - and my personality in life used to differ to this (I used to be a fairly serious long distance runner which required training for long term goals, and my first book involved putting MANY hours of serious time into it). So I suppose I am saying that I am just more blazzeh about life these days and would like to get back into some of my better habits.

What a ramble!

Hang on a minute.

"

raynestorm (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:00 am That calming effect, it brings focus....a state of bliss.

"

You da man!!!

Sorry, I mean woman lol

Another thing that I very much should do before I ever start on Androcur is to have some of my sperm frozen (though I am so lazy about many things, hopefully I bloody well get around to doing that!). My idea of having children has been mixed to say the least - I've often tried to take a help the world look at things (though how much can we really help/change the world?) and had an idea to just adopt, maybe from a poor country - the world is overpopulated as it is, etc. But actually if I was really with an awesome companion then to have our own kid would be life enriching I reckon. As for kidS, we would have too see how big a monster the first one turned out to be!

So the freezing of sperm would give the option of having our own kid if I happened to get onto Androcur long term and it effected my sperm/sex drive permanently.

It never ceases to amaze me just how many really nice people there are on these boards. And I mean genuinely nice. I don't really fit in with a lot that is said on the EA, but for me it is still a great place to hang out on occasion. It is, dare I say it, a little life enriching!

Awesome rambler and writer - signing out.....for now.

I've never read anything about Androcur affecting your sperm long term. As soon as you stop taking it, things return to normal. I'd definately recommend it if you're thinking about castration, luv. Kind of a, "test drive".

It would SUCK if you castrated yourself permenately - say via injections - then found out that you didn't like it.

My sex drive has dropped, I'm calmer now and I'm more affectionate toward my wife.

Who, by the way, has a 3rd party (another MtF) coming into our relationship. My wife is the Domme, I'm the slave and the other person would be the alpha so she'd be over me.

Three way relationship with three way sex? Yes, please. And it was HER idea!

Life is good.

raynestorm (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 20, 2011 8:28 pm I've never read anything about Androcur affecting your sperm long term. As soon as you stop taking it, things return to normal. I'd definately recommend it if you're thinking about castration, luv. Kind of a, "test drive".

It would SUCK if you castrated yourself permenately - say via injections - then found out that you didn't like it.

My sex drive has dropped, I'm calmer now and I'm more affectionate toward my wife.

Who, by the way, has a 3rd party (another MtF) coming into our relationship. My wife is the Domme, I'm the slave and the other person would be the alpha so she'd be over me.

Three way relationship with three way sex? Yes, please. And it was HER idea!

Life is good.

Androcur here I come!

Maybe...

You had me cracking up. I was thinking about Seinfeld.

"I'm not an orgy guy!"

But if I was ever in a threesome I sure as hell wouldn't be the alpha!

And "her idea" is bloody funny. A lot of men are asking, "where the hell is my wife's kinky side?"

Anyway, maybe in May I can start my "test drive." That can be my birthday present!

loveableleopardy (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:05 pm Thanks for the rambling guys and gals.

Postatracura - do/did you have VERY high sex drive, as in far higher than even most men? Most people that I have read about on the EA who have used Androcur have had it effect their sex drive a great deal, so maybe your sex drive is just really high?

I used to map out masturbation plots in 8-hour chunks... my libido was crazy high.

So, I could use some advice.

Am trying to figure out if I should try Androcur or an SSRI or both or something else.

Basic situation: about 50 years old, 2 largely grown kids, my wife's sex drive has pretty much crashed over the last 5 years (she's the same age) while my sex drive has declined only gradually -- I still beat off at least twice a week; for several years now we've made love maybe 2x or 3x a year at most, she doesn't really even enjoy being eaten or fingered, even though she screams with pleasure when she lets me love her to the Big O; I love her, and she has an auto-immune disease and is afraid of my leaving her alone and sick, which I would never do, we've been together for 30 years and have a genuine emotional bond; I want to be together for the long haul including if/when we eventually have grandkids; she is leery of cuddling out of fear that I get a hardon and she can't deal with it; I miss being touched and held so much I am nearly crazy with sadness and depression and have even started to think about suicide but that would be so selfish and cruel to her and the kids; I have been attracted to guys since forever, and had a couple of gay relationships when younger but have always preferred sex with women; I will not cheat on my wife but can't continue to handle this bind where I have no sex, no touch, yet a considerable ongoing sex drive.

I know a lot of the guys on this forum are transgendered or in process or have body image issues and have suffered from social putdowns and violence and crap a lot worse than I have ever seen. I am sorry to come here and whine. But I really am at the end of my rope and could use some advice.

Peace.

You're not whining, and you're not alone. Although I may be GID/MtF, I've dealt with the same relationship issues over the last few years. Wife doesn't ever give a thought to sex in any way, shape or form since menopause, and always makes excuses when asked about it. It's frustrating, aggravating, and gets unbearable.

To the OP,

I can't speak for chemical castration as I never did it, but i can speak about the effects of very low testosterone. I found that in spite of hot flashes, UGH!, and a reduced ability to get erect, that I still had a libido, albeit a less pressing one. The lack of erections proved to be very frustrating since there still seemed to be an occasional need.Whipping a limp noodle was no fun at all.

This calm that others speak of never was there for me. I got depressed, and lithargic. I had so little energy, that even getting up to go to work was a challenge.

As to the pets thing, This I can share with you on. My darling dog is the apple of my eye. When my ex left and did some really horrible things , she was the constant in my life. I got that greeting when I came home, and she was more than willing to snuggle up with "Daddy" at night. I now am partnered again, but she has not changed. It does cause some stress in our house that I am so close to the dog. Even so, I'd say that she helped me thru some rough times, and was a means of companionship when I felt I could trust no humans.

Get a dog, but only one, you'll have a stronger bond with just one. It is not the replacement for human companionship, but it is a great therapy when no humans are around .

Raymar