I have decided I want to be somewhere in between feminine and maculine

[oogie292 (imported)]

So how can I do it?

I have a lot of gender dysphoria and I dont know if I should try to be male or female (I am biologically male)

So, I guess I am asking, if one wanted to be able to live somewhat inbetween. What should they do? I think I want to have some breast growth and feminization but not so much that I cant ever be represented as a male again. I think Id also like to stop my body from masculinizing too much. I am 18 so I dont know if I am through with puberty yet.

Could I please have anyone's thoughts and suggestions?

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

I am far from an expert on this subject, but you can reduce your testosterone levels via medication such as Androcur without completely removing your sex drive (and maleness). So you can be partly chemically castrated and live a bit inbetween. From what I've read Androcur use can give you some breast growth. It is a very strong drug though, so a high dosage over a lengthy period can cause permanent removal of sex drive. A low dosage on a trial period shouldn't have any major side effects.

I have an interest with trying out Androcur (to reduce or temporarily remove my sex drive), but my doctor will not allow me to yet. I might get to try out somewhat of an inbetween drug (currently I am on anti-depressants and be aware that Androcur is a depressant) next January once I have finished my trial with Lexapro (also known as Lexam - this will not make you more feminine), then maybe after that I will get a prescription for Androcur.

Or are you wanting a drug that just increases your 'breasts' but doesn't reduce your sex drive at all?

Others will have answers for you on the EA.

The main thing though is not to rush into anything that is too serious. You are only 18, so you should take a long time before making any decisions that result in a permanent result. Even those on this site who are very happy being Eunuch's will advise you to take things slowly in regards to taking powerful medication.

[Mac (imported)]

So how can I do it?

I have a lot of gender dysphoria and I dont know if I should try to be male or female (I am biologically male)

So, I guess I am asking, if one wanted to be able to live somewhat inbetween. What should they do? I think I want to have some breast growth and feminization but not so much that I cant ever be represented as a male again. I think Id also like to stop my body from masculinizing too much. I am 18 so I dont know if I am through with puberty yet.

Could I please have anyone's thoughts and suggestions?

If I was your age today and knew what I know, I would do everything possible to feminize my bodily development. The knowledge and resources to do that were not readily available when I was 18.

[chemcast scot (imported)]

I totaly agree with you MAC if i was that age and know what i know today i would be going for it full steam

[transward (imported)]

Some trans people know from the beginning exactly where they want to go, but there are a lot who start from your position, knowing they are not happy being male, but not knowing how far along the path to womanhood they need to go. The first thing you need to do is to do a lot of self examination. What are your physical assets? If you are thin and delicate, your path is a lot easier than if you are 6'6" and built like a defensive tackle. How is your hair and hairline? Bald spots and receeding hairline can be dealt with but your own hair is better. How much and what color is your facial hair? If you are significantly overweight, it is usually a lot harder to lose weight without testosterone. Your profile says you are attracted to men. Are you willing to be perceived as a fem gay boy, or do you need to stay stealth and act butch? What are your financial resources? If you need to support yourself in construction, being more feminine is going to be more difficult. If you are independently wealthy, everything is easier. What is the culture of the area you live? Are you able or willing to move to a more trans friendly area? You begin by finding exactly where you are.

From there the first steps can be taken without help. Start by trying to get your height/weight normal. Use rogane or Propecia to avoid hair loss. Let your hair grow and get it styled and or colored. Pierce your ears. If you can afford it start getting rid of facial hair. If you are comfortable in gay culture, hang out with drag queens. They can teach you a lot about acting a woman.

Next step requires access to hormones or androgen blockers, usually Spironolactone in the US. Best way to do that is to start seeing a gender therapist, then a doctor, etc. Other way (much less safe and not recommended, but frequently done) is to get drugs on-line without a Rx. If you decide to do the latter please read the thread "Chemical Castration Protocal with optional levels of feminizing - Rev 7" http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12114 on this site, and proceed slowly. You must not rush with hormones or it can have very unpleasant effects. If you decide to do the legitamite TS route try http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html. Blockers and a very small dose of estrogen is a good place to start if you don't want to go too far too fast.

I am unclear about your age. You post said 18, your profile listed a birthdate of 1982 which would be 28. You list Massachusetts as your home. If you are 18 and in the collegate areas of the state you have a lot of resources, support groups, therapists and so on available.

Enjoy yourself, It get easier

Transward

[devi (imported)]

No. Drag queens are the very WORST for acting like a woman! Besides it's kind of disturbing that they probably have bigger balls and deeper voices than you. If you can get girfriends, you need to hang out with THEM. Besides you can get estro that way too as long they're not a nurse in which case they could lose their nurse license. And when you go out with them for a night out when they go up to the bouncer one of the girls can show him all the IDs of everyone there like a hand of cards. The bouncer will look at all of the pictures and birthdates primarily and the fact that one of cards has an "M" on it (as opposed to an "F") will get missed or glossed over.

[Glasgow_kiss (imported)]

So how can I do it?

I have a lot of gender dysphoria and I dont know if I should try to be male or female (I am biologically male)

So, I guess I am asking, if one wanted to be able to live somewhat inbetween. What should they do? I think I want to have some breast growth and feminization but not so much that I cant ever be represented as a male again. I think Id also like to stop my body from masculinizing too much. I am 18 so I dont know if I am through with puberty yet.

Could I please have anyone's thoughts and suggestions?

I'm 19 and this is what I would like, It's far easier to change your body at this age as opposed to 5-10 years later.... I imagine the best way to achieve this would to be chemically castrated with a low dose of estrogen.

[transward (imported)]

No. Drag queens are the very WORST for acting like a woman! Besides it's kind of disturbing that they probably have bigger balls and deeper voices than you. If you can get girfriends, you need to hang out with THEM. Besides you can get estro that way too as long they're not a nurse in which case they could lose their nurse license. And when you go out with them for a night out when they go up to the bouncer one of the girls can show him all the IDs of everyone there like a hand of cards. The bouncer will look at all of the pictures and birthdates primarily and the fact that one of cards has an "M" on it (as opposed to an "F") will get missed or glossed over.

I have to come to the defense of drag queens. I know that in the official trans hierarchy of wonderfullness, drag queens are "homosexual men who dress as women to attract men," usually accompanied by slight sneer.The reality, as usual, is considerably more complicated. First as anyone who has perused the gay personals of any big city alternative paper, which are full of "no fems" or "straight acting only" or "seeks masculine man" , it's not a very effective way to attract partners. Secondly, if you spend any time around the court system, you realize that for many of these people their female drag persona is a greater part of their identity than their gay male persona. In fact there are a lot of drag queens, who had fate dealt them a better genetic heritage, would transition. And lastly if you watch closely and see how a 250 pound black guy can put on a pair of stilettos and fishnets and a blond wig, and project a realistic illusion of Marilyn Monroe, you can learn a lot about how to project femininity. I would suggest that you rent and watch the movie Paris is Burning for a more nuanced view of drag.

I will point out that when genetic women want to get sexy, they start acting like drag queens. Lady GaGa is only the latest biological woman to channel her inner drag queen. Over the years Madonna, Cher, Liza Minnelli, Judy Garland, all have been considered drag queens trapped in a woman's body.

Transward

Transward

[devi (imported)]

Drag queens' mannerisms are generally just too far exagerated and off pitch and unnecessary to be credible plus their manner of dress just somehow never seems right and the makeup that they wear reminds you of a teenager who is learning to wear it for the very first time. Lately Lady Gaga herself because of her exagerated manner has been accused of being a male. It's generally a dead give-away. With actual women you can learn better how to use your natural voice rather than the false pitched one cross-dressers use. Many women also have low voices but they do know how to handle it. I could convince you that it was ME, yes ME that actually made this recording, "The number you have reached has either been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error then please hang up and dial the number again".

Actually since I never had much natural testosterone nor could grow a beard I may have some advantage but still I think that most guys before their mid-twenties could pull off at being able to pass. I, myself found it easier to just tweeze out my facial hairs than to shave or have any hair removal. There might be someone else that doesn't have much facial hair either and I think that tweezing is actually the more preferential way.

If you are with a group of drag queens or gays then it will be assumed that you also are one of "them" and if you are among a group of natural women then it will also be assumed that you are one of them also. In the past perhaps I had been wrong to do so but at one time I completely avoided gays and "cross-dressers", --the reason being that with my youngish soft and neutral appearance it would be assumed that I would be one of them. The problem with me was also that I was very obedient as a child and as a young adult to a fault and would never do anything that was "wrong". And I do regret this now but that is actually how I was. It also didn't help that I had been accused of being a girl, and then assaulted and raped anyway as a young adult either.

So I'm not advocating avoiding drag queens because of what they are. I'm just saying that they just don't pass and I can easily identify them. But the problem with me may also be that I am still paranoid of men with balls and can easily sense them too. The bottom line is that if you do want to pass it's simply better to be with the more true of females. Actually some of them may actually have XY, XXY, or X chromosomes so that they may actually not be "fully" a female either but they were raised that way and that's what counts. They are also "in between" as so many of us really are.

It is a little hard to be somewhere in between though.

[transward (imported)]

Drag queens' mannerisms are generally just too far exagerated and off pitch and unnecessary to be credible plus their manner of dress just somehow never seems right and the makeup that they wear reminds you of a teenager who is learning to wear it for the very first time. Lately Lady Gaga herself because of her exagerated manner has been accused of being a male. It's generally a dead give-away. With actual women you can learn better how to use your natural voice rather than the false pitched one cross-dressers use. Many women also have low voices but they do know how to handle it. I could convince you that it was ME, yes ME that actually made this recording, "The number you have reached has either been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error then please hang up and dial the number again".

Actually since I never had much natural testosterone nor could grow a beard I may have some advantage but still I think that most guys before their mid-twenties could pull off at being able to pass. I, myself found it easier to just tweeze out my facial hairs than to shave or have any hair removal. There might be someone else that doesn't have much facial hair either and I think that tweezing is actually the more preferential way.

If you are with a group of drag queens or gays then it will be assumed that you also are one of "them" and if you are among a group of natural women then it will also be assumed that you are one of them also. In the past perhaps I had been wrong to do so but at one time I completely avoided gays and "cross-dressers", --the reason being that with my youngish soft and neutral appearance it would be assumed that I would be one of them. The problem with me was also that I was very obedient as a child and as a young adult to a fault and would never do anything that was "wrong". And I do regret this now but that is actually how I was. It also didn't help that I had been accused of being a girl, and then assaulted and raped anyway as a young adult either.

So I'm not advocating avoiding drag queens because of what they are. I'm just saying that they just don't pass and I can easily identify them. But the problem with me may also be that I am still paranoid of men with balls and can easily sense them too. The bottom line is that if you do want to pass it's simply better to be with the more true of females. Actually some of them may actually have XY, XXY, or X chromosomes so that they may actually not be "fully" a female either but they were raised that way and that's what counts. They are also "in between" as so many of us really are.

It is a little hard to be somewhere in between though.

You need to know a better class of drag queens. They do exist.

Transward