Reduce libido not eliminate it

[farnorthwestguy (imported)]

My wife would like it if there was a chemical that reduced my libido but did not completely chemically castrate me. Is there such a thing

[hkeunuch (imported)]

Sure. Androcur at just a very low dose would certainly reduce your libido but not castrate you. Other hair growth meds would too.

[plix (imported)]

I would second hkeunuch's suggestion to try a lower dose of a chemical castration drug. A lower dose may lower your T levels some but not to eunuch levels. Keep in mind though that because everyone's body chemistry is different, you may still lose too much of your libido with lowered T levels

If you want non-T reducing options, you might look into medications that lower libido as a side effect. I'm sure there are others, but SSRIs are the only one I can think of now. Many have reported success with using SSRIs to lower libido.

I do wish you the best in realizing your goal

[JessicaH (imported)]

Does she just want you to bug her for sex less or are there other things going on like fetishes or affairs that have her concerned? How old are you both?

[farnorthwestguy (imported)]

Does she just want you to bug her for sex less or are there other things going on like fetishes or affairs that have her concerned? How old are you both?

Stacy, There are other things going on. I recently came out to her as a bisexual. She thinks a lowering of my libido will help me keep that part of me under better control. We are an older couple, both in our 60's

[chemcast scot (imported)]

Is it the case then that she dose not want you to go on to have any sexuall contact with other men,if you have just came out to her as being bi.

Sounds like she might not be able to handle the fact that you are not just looking or thinking about her,but that you might be thinking of other men that you might see or be in contact with.

[Riven (imported)]

chemcast scot has a point. Your wife's probably very worried about the implications of your coming out as bisexual. I expect it's making her feel insecure.

Who's idea was it to look into libido reduction? Hers or yours? Which one of you found this website? I'm asking because I feel that if it's entirely her idea that you seek libido reduction then I'd lobby you not to go that way, but instead try to work out what it is YOU feel like doing (if anything) about your bisexuality and let her know where she stands. Let her know what you feel like doing, if anything.

But if it's mostly you who's thinking of libido reduction, and she's supportive of the idea, then I agree with hkeunuch and plix, in that you could try a very low dose of Androcur (cyproterone acetate) and see how it makes you feel. You must bear in mind though, that everyone's reaction to these drugs is different. In my case, I'm super sensitive to cyproterone acetate: As little as 10mg per week seems to be enough to make me impotent. Other guys have to take more than 100mg per day to get the same effect. But before you go into this it would be sensible to make sure you can't resolve this by talking it through.

[hkeunuch (imported)]

If you are going through libido reduction just to "cure" you of being bi, I would suggest that you give this idea a lot more thought.

Reducing your libido includes your libido towards and ability to pleasure your wife. Reducing your libido will reduce your attraction across the board, towards both sexes.

Your being bi is not a result of your having excessive libido.

Being bi poses no more threat towards your wife as being straight. You could certainly find other women attractive. Ultimately, it is a matter of the bond between you and your wife.

Although I suggested Androcur and have taken it myself, it is a very powerful drug. I took it at a very low dose. And I suffered from a lot of bad side effects -- from the more serious problems like anemia and depression to the less dangerous yet just as troubling, like loss of energy and drive, weight gains, and being very emotional. Some are reversible after stopping the drug. But weight gains are so hard to get rid of when the energy levels are still much lower than before.

There has better be a lot of very strong and good reasons before trying it. For that, only you can decide.

[JessicaH (imported)]

She will not feel more secure when you loose interest in sex with her either. It will change the relationship dynamic from you always initiating sex and making her feel wanted in that way to her initiating sex. Women don't usually like when that power is taken from them.

One thing that I'm wondering is, what was your motivation in telling her that you are bi? Were you hoping she'd encourage you to try it? How did the conversation come up and how did it go?

There are a lot of guys that ar "sorta" bi and turn totally straight as soon as they cum and kinda weird out and may not try it a gain for a long time. How do you feel about intimate contact right after you orgasm?

If it's more on the line of a fetish kind of thing, an SSRI like prozac may be better for you than an anti-androgen. So many side effects with anti-androgens...

[farnorthwestguy (imported)]

Thank for the good suggestions. I came out because I felt she needed to know. Of course it was upsetting to her, but in a strange way it has brought us closer together. We certainly talk more and not just about my bisexuality.

I was thinking about reduced libido when she brought it up. Her reson for thinking about it was she thought it might make it easier for me to deal with the situation while we resolve the real issues. We agree that being bi is just part of who I am, but we need to decide what is acceptable to both of us. Besides, my libido seems more appropriate to an 18 year old and to to a man of my age.

Soon I will be meeting with a psychologist, it will be interesting to see what he recommends