My kids are getting old enough that I need to start thinking about teaching them to work. I want them to be empowered = empowered to work. The last thing I want is for them to feel like the world owes them anything.

I grew up in a farming community. While a lot can be said about that upbringing and not all of it complimentary, I did learn to work. Paper route every morning (up at 4 AM, peddling uphill both coming and going into the teeth of a howling blizzard unlike River´s whose route assuredly was downhill in banana belt weather), working the corn and hay fields during the summer and mowing yards when not doing any of the above.

Today it seems like those are closed off to kids. Especially since I do not particularly want to live in a rural setting again. I do that for work, so I want to be around some art, theater, etc. when away from work.

Does anybody have suggestions or ideas for teaching a work ethic in a non-rural setting.

Thanks

I worked at cafe help, construction, clerk.

Also consider making them do some volunteer work

in a setting that shows them what happens to those

who won't or can't work.

I'm not sure you can "teach" your children a work ethic, it has to be instilled in them. Like most positive things you want to instill in your children, the best way to instill a work ethic is by you being a living example to them. You can talk to your kids till you're blue in the face, but what will matter most to your kids is what they see you doing.

If your children see you working hard and for the most part enjoying your work, and they see you enjoying the positive benefits of your work, and they see that you still have more than enough time for them and their interests and concerns, then your children are much more likely to develop their own strong work ethic for themselves. If they work hard for something important to them and see and enjoy the benefits of their work then they will develop their own strong work ethic. And like anything else in life they have to learn that they can carry that work ethic too far, they need to learn balance as well.

Your Your kids will learn most of all from two things. They learn from examples set by their parents, if you as their parent set good examples they will learn good things. Second, and perhaps even more important, they will learn from their own personal experiences. Part of your job as a parent is to give them good examples to follow, and to give them good positive experiences to learn from.

I have 5 kids so when they were growing up they had all the food they wanted, they were long on hugs and short on money. I told them if they wanted what all the other kids want they better go get a job.

It worked,

It was not that I was trying to be mean or nasty, its just that by the end of the month there was nothing left, the few times I did have some extra money I would hand them a 5 or 10 and the older ones a 20 but that was rare, they did not ever expect it. On the same token if they needed money for something special I always tried to come through.

My grandfather bought me a car when I was 16, then promptly told me, "I got you the car, the rest is your responsibility..."

I was given no money for gas, insurance, etc. I learned pretty quick that if I didn't want to be a pedestrian, I was going to have to be responsible for the care and feeding of the car.

I got a job, paid for the insurance, and had enough gas to go where I wanted to go.

He didn't teach me anything by telling, he taught me by giving me a task to overcome so that I would know what it was to be responsible for something that required an inflow of money. I learned that money didn't grow on trees that way.

Some points that come to mind:

- For me, it wouldn't have worked if I was told "It's to build character" or "This good old fashioned hard work is good for ya, kid, git working"; I, and younger kids of today, only get turned off if every job is a life-lesson. There are better ways.

- One kid I had had some responsibility for taught me a great trick. Most youth (your kids are probably older; this one was 12) really look up to certain adults. It may be just a cool neighbour or family friend, or a scout leader, or whatever; there's always one, male or female, doesn't matter. Try to arrange for the kid to work for THAT person. I was just a family friend, but the kid liked me because I was fun and kind and gave a lot of freedom; when he came to help do yard work, he WANTED to impress me, so automatically worked hard. It's a good introduction to 'real' work for a kid, I think.

- My dad co-signed for my first car loan. That was pretty much it, as far as big-ticket 'gifts' went. Worked well. I also started paying rent as soon as I had a job.

- Don't, however, be too 'afraid' (wrong word?) to give hand-outs when they really need it. Sometimes, shit happens. Dad always had almost a sixth sense about when I really needed a bail-out. Your kids are your blood; you'll know when they really need help, and I think it should be freely given (within your ability! Never leave yourself short) when it's truly needed. Nowadays, with kids living at home all through university and beyond, it's lucky to get them on their own feet and living successfully on their own by the time they are 20.

- Four words; Lawn Mowing, Snow Shovelling (the latter is more of a northern thing, admittedly; in the south, substitute, I dunno, Tornado Cleanup?). These are short, intense bursts of work that let a kid see instant reward and value in a job well done, with lots of variety (each individual job is only an hour or less). Probably the best 'first jobs' going.

- If 12 or older, go to the Summer Job Bank with him. Don't know if it exists in the States, but here, every summer the Job Bank opens in a mall in every town and city, where kids can find work helping with lawn care, cleaning windows at churches, etc etc.